The Planck Constant Revelation
by hazelra7
Summary: After Season 7 finale. Sheldon has been on the road, but can one more trip help him find what he is looking for, or has he already lost it? Can Sheldon win Amy back? Shamy Rated M
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Sheldon loved the train but lately he grew tired of it. He once loved the sound of the rail, the lights as went by. He calculated every stop to the second. He knew when the train slowed or changed at all. _Change_… God he hated that word. It was 3 months since he left Pasadena. So many changes three months ago had overloaded his system. Truth be told, he hadn't used the time away as wisely as he hoped. Sheldon spent his time riding on all the trains he ever wanted. He rode the Durango Silverton, Smokey mountain rail, Sacramento River train. The time was spent filling his head with facts, not clearing it.

He kept in touch with Leonard, who told him to take his time. They had decided that Leonard would move into Penny's apartment, but keep his comic books, collectible and such at Sheldon's until he got back. Leonard said it would be a man cave for them, trying to make light of the situation of him abandoning him for the lumber jack Nebraska waitress. Penny was a good friend too though, she was helping keep an eye on the apartment while he was gone, checking the mail, and such. Penny and Leonard never pushed him. He enjoyed talking to Amy, but he mostly talked about what he did or saw, not what he wanted to do, and certainly not when he was coming home. He wasn't ready yet. He still didn't know what to study, didn't want to move out of his apartment or did he want Leonard to leave. He didn't want Amy to be pushing him. Their talks have been a strained to say the least. He was losing patience with her perceived lack of patience. If he was guilty about leaving her, he didn't show it. Not to her. Instead, he became more irritated with her.

_Amy_. He had forced her out of his mind. He missed her more than he could bear admitting, but he had to focus. Trouble was, she was the person whom he had relied on to help him focus. He craved her calm voice of reason, the way she could rip through a problem to the core. God, he loved her mind. He really needed smart Amy. He didn't want to think of her now.

During their last Skype session, he saw something familiar in her face, her sadden resolve. In all their talks on this journey of his, she never once asked him to come home. She knew he needed this. She knew not to push him. However, just her _asking_ him how he was doing agitated him. Their chats were less frequent. The last one she suggested he find a constant in his life. She suggested his family home, but the image of his mother with that man on couch when he surprised her with Howard flooded his memory. Amy then suggested a visit to Meamaw. Amy said Meamaw might be his constant, a point of unchanging love upon whom he could rely, get his bearings. When she said that, he noticed she was looking down, then quickly got off the phone. He hadn't heard from her since; that was a week ago. He didn't want to think about her veiled sadness behind her hellos and goodbyes.

He sat up straight to shake the feeling. Instead he held on to what he needed to figure out and how he was forced to change. All the things he didn't want flooded in his mind. He didn't want to lose the comic book store, didn't want to lose his spot. Didn't want to lose his _friend_. He stopped at that statement in his mind. He wasn't losing Leonard, was he? He would be next door, but it wasn't the same. Even Howard had moved out of his mother's house. Big change for him, but he seemed happier. Nothing much changed for Raj until recently and his relationship with his new girlfriend Emily; but that change made Raj happy.

Sheldon knew he had to change, but he didn't want to. _What did he want_? Presently, he wanted the guy seated next to him to shut off his Ipod. Sheldon's Vulcan hearing could make out some of the lyrics, which the guy had on repeat. The annoying passenger had fallen asleep and one of his ear buds had fallen out. IT was driving Sheldon CRAZY that he could only hear part of the song. If he could hear it just once through, he could get his mind back to the task at hand. Damn his need for closure.

He noticed the man's ipod, and lightly touched it to turn it on. Good, now he had the song name. On his phone, he went to purchase the song. Thank god Amtrak has wifi. Normally, Sheldon used his phone for listening to old lectures from Feyman or NPR, now he felt like kind of hipster listening to popular music. He popped his earphones in his ear and heard the lyrics, finally after 45 minutes of half hearing he could get the _damn song_ out of his head. His Iphone glowed with the song, Let her Go, by Passenger: The words fell on his ears like stones:

_**"Let Her Go"**_

_Well you only need the light when it's burning low_  
_Only miss the sun when it starts to snow_  
_Only know you love her when you let her go_

_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low_  
_Only hate the road when you're missin' home_  
_Only know you love her when you let her go_  
_And you let her go_

_Staring at the bottom of your glass_  
_Hoping one day you'll make a dream last_  
_But dreams come slow and they go so fast_

_You see her when you close your eyes_  
_Maybe one day you'll understand why_  
_Everything you touch surely dies.._

Well, Sheldon thought, _**that was certainly enough of that!,**_ and he pulled his both earphone out with one quick motion. What a repetitive song filled with drivel. What a _fool_ this guy was to listen to this song over and over again, letting him fall into the typical trap of love. That what was exactly wrong with Leonard. He was letting his romantic love of Penny overrule his brain. _How can he function like that?_ NO wonder he's just a washed up experimental physicist. Good thing Sheldon thought, that he was above that. He just needed to focus. The last 3 months couldn't have been a waste. He had to focus more, let go of everything, his friends, his life at the University. Then there was Amy. She was there for him on the phone, but not in spirit, he knew that. He couldn't let her emotions cloud his focus. He had to stop thinking of her just until he could get his bearings, Just until he could find his constant. He had to _let her go._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The train finally pulled into Galveston Station. Not soon enough for Sheldon's mind. His sleeping neighbor passenger had woken up in the middle of the night and spend the last 2 hours having a rather emotional conversation with, what Sheldon could only assume, was his wife. The man was _sorry he left her for a waitress, it meant nothing, he really loved her, blah blah blah_. _Of course he loved the kids, of course he loved her. He would never leave her again, blah blah blah._ It was like a drippy Romance novel being read out loud.

Sheldon thank the Lord he didn't' believe in that the trip was over. The man's sobs were enough to drown out a cat. As soon as the train stopped, Sheldon slide himself carefully around the sobbing mound of a man to retrieve his bag.

It was good to be back on familiar ground. He knew this station well, and in no time he was out front searching for his mother's car. Mary Cooper agreed to be there at 10:10 to pick him. His train was early, so he had a few moments to settle in to the humidity. God, Texas in the summer was possible the 7 level of Hell. Only 10 n the morning and he was already sweating like he just got out of the shower. He did not miss this about Texas at all. He missed California. This time of year was the best, light summer night breezes taking away the heat of the day. Last summer, he and Amy got a pass to the LA zoo. She took him as much as he wanted to see the Koalas. Afterwards, they would drive by the train depot in Griffith park. The weather was perfect in California now. He wondered if Amy still went to the zoo. Unexplained sadness filled his memories. His daydream was broken when finally, his mother's car pulled up. He didn't give a chance to get out to give him a hug. Instead he jumped in, and cranked her AC to full. The ice blast was a welcoming he loved almost as much as seeing his mother.

"Sheldon, I am so happy your home, honey!" Not used to the Texas heat anymore, huh baby?"

"I don't think I ever was, mom. Its good to see you too." Sheldon grinned at his mom. He had missed her. He needed her more than he wanted to admit.

"Well don't you fret dear, we're off to the house, get you fed and rested and then you can go see Meamaw at her new House."

Sheldon pulled back in his seat, "What do you mean, "new House?" Where is the old house?" He didn't mean to shriek, but his words came out with such surprise.

"Well, honey, Meamaw needed more help to get around, so she wanted to move to the Senior center." She couldn't finish her thought before Sheldon yelling cut the conversation:

"YOU PUT MEAMAW IN A HOME!? Why isn't she living with you, are you too busy with new boyfriend to take care of family? This is an outrage!" this time there was no denying his surprise. He was furious. How could she? After all Meamaw had done for them.

Mary was a patient woman, especially with Sheldon. She knew that would be hard news for him. But his comments hit her like a boulder. "NO, Sheldon… I didn't PUT HER IN HOME… " Exasperated, she said more calmly, " She wanted to go. She asked to put in the senior center. I offered her to stay with me. Missy tried too. She didn't listen to no one. She wanted to move, and she did. You know how hard headed she is. " Trying to lighten the mood she smirked and said, " That where you get it from, you know. "

Sheldon was gob smacked. Why? Why would she leave her home? "I don't understand, why would she want to leave her and Pop Pop's home? What possessed her?"

"Honey, she was lonely, she loved the senior center. You know how she loved to play canasta and she loves to talk. IT's hard to do those things when your alone. After she couldn't drive anymore, she realized she won't be able to go as much. I took her when I could, but have you seen her dance card? She had an event every day at that center. She made friends that matters to her. " Mary sighed… Poor Shelly, how can he understand. He never needed friends. Finally she said after a few moments of uncomfortable silence, "You'll see, she is happy. Happier than she has been for a while."

Sheldon looked out the window, feeling lost. "Well, I don't know how she could be. I really don't"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Sheldon was starving. Like worked all day in the yard, muscle ache, dry mouth, starving. He didn't have his usual breakfast on the train and he was regretting it. All was forgotten when he walked into his mother's home. She went all out, fried chicken, biscuits, cobbler the whole nine yards. Texas was good for something: Food.

Mary loved feeding her Shelly bean. It was an easy way for her to see his eye's light up. She was about as worried as she could be about him. This was worse than when he was fired, worse than the 25 cats. He looked so lost so alone. Once, when he was very little, she lost him in the store. Panic set in her throat. She screamed his name throughout the whole of Kmart, but no reply. She was frantic, checking every clothes rack, pulling down displays, each time she found nothing her heart stopped again. Finally, she found him. He was in the men's section, in one of those round racks with pants on it. He had dried tears on his face, and red eyes. She knew he was crying, but he didn't let her see it. That face etched in her mind. That look of sadden resolve is what she saw on the platform when she picked him up today.

She knew he could handle anything. She raised him and sent him off to college at such a young age. He handled that change, but it was hard. She helped him at lot then. Mary would send him packages every Tuesday. She knew he depended on constancy to keep his mind focused. Today, looking at him waiting at the train station, her heart skipped a beat. He was lost again. He needed the familiar. Cooking was as familiar as she could think to get.

"Shelly, you're sure hungry… have you been eating on the road?"

"Yes, mom…" In between bites he explained his routine. He crafted his schedule so that he was able to eat at the same chain restaurants every time of day. He used the train schedule to help him decide where to go. If the train stopped at the convenient time, he was on it no matter where it went. He was used to sleeping in hotels and on the train. He cut his wardrobe down the minimum. He was constantly looking for laundry facilities. He did spend a week in New Mexico to tour the VLA from the movie _Contact_, one of his favorites. Didn't hurt they filmed _Thor_ there as well. He went to Grand Canyon, and of course took the train from Williams. Not the best time of year to visit Arizona if you don't like the heat. Nothing compared to heat in Texas now, though.

"How's the university handling your being gone for so long, honey?" She didn't want to ask right out, but she worried he was going to run out of money, get fired. She hated to admit it , she didn't want him moving home. Not only had she enjoyed her freedom, she worried the step backwards was the last thing he needed now. She got him out of moving home that last time he went off half cocked. Now, it might be a bigger battle.

"Well, they gave me a sabbatical, but I still have to work on String theory when I get back. I still cant believe they wont let me switch my work. I have been looking for other Universities to work for, but as of yet, nothing. It's hard to top Cal-Tech for physics. Anything else, is such a step down. "

"Well honey, I know your work is everything, but maybe you should focus on other things and let the work come as it may." Mary voice was sweet, but she was hiding another agenda, he knew it.

"What else is there to worry about? All my friends are moving on. I am trying to work on changes. Giving up string theory is a big change for me. I think I deserve a little credit for that!" Sheldon sounded angrier than he should have at his mother's comment.

"Honey, let me tell you something. Your friends are not moving on from you, they are still there. They are just changing their circumstances. You know, you did that too when you went to school, or got a girlfriend. It's a good thing sometimes. " Now she was about to bring up the main subject, but she had to be cautious. He might jump, or worst run. It was approaching a deer in the woods when it came to the next subject. "And Shelly, Amy has been there for you, hadn't she baby?"

The mention of Amy made Sheldon soften a little. "Yes…" He let out a sigh "But even _SHE_ wants me the change. She wants so much, I don't understand why she always wants more…" He voice trailed off thinking back to his last conversation with her in person. He yelled at her. He was so mad she suggested living together. Was that really the best time to force herself on his life? She already was there everyday, in his thoughts. What more could she need?

Mary spoke so softly now, "Oh honey, she wants more because she loves you. She cares about you and wants you to be happy. What's so wrong with that?" Finally she said it out loud. She been wanting to scream it at him since he told her about their fight before he left.

"What's so wrong with that, mother, is that I am not ready to be husband. I am not ready to be moving in and spend my life with her. I am not ready for all this change. I just want things to stay the same. " His hard words softened a touch, " Just for a while. Later, maybe.. Maybe…"

"Honey, I don't want to say this to you, but there might not be a later. She might move on with out you. You need to figure out what you want. If you want her to be with you, then you need to show her. I know moving in a big step. I am frankly not too happy about the idea. Lord knows it leads down the path of sin. But, not for you. You probably aren't ready to hear this, but here it goes." Mary sighed, breathed in a deep breath and steadied herself for the final blow. "Amy loves you, she has been there for you in every way. She has the patience of Job. And, when you speak of her, I know you love her too. You're afraid it… afraid of love. Not the change. "

Sheldon sat back in his chair. Drinking in all what his mother said as if it was poison. He wasn't' afraid of love, he just didn't believe in it. It was a distraction, a ruse to fool lesser minds into a state of false happiness. How dare she say he is afraid it, or anything. "What good did it do you? Huh mom? You loved Dad, and what did it get you?" Before the last word left his mouth, he regretted saying it.

His mother's reaction was enough to scar his soul. Mary looked at Sheldon with such hurt eyes. All the pain she put up with his father, it was all for love. All the drunk nights, the fights. All the days he would leave the house and she would wonder if he would be back. Yes, she put up with it all for love. When he finally died, she did a little too. But there were other times, happier times that she missed. Dancing around Christmas tree drunk out of his mind, but having such a good time. She stood by him because she loved him, not in spite of it. How can she explain it all to Sheldon? She couldn't. What good did it do her? Well, she knew what love was at least. Mary couldn't say that to Sheldon. She thought he didn't understand. Sheldon was special, and he needed to slowly walked down the path. Instead of fighting, she just slowly got up, grabbed his plate and went to the kitchen.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The road to Meamaw's was a quiet one. Mary had hardly said a word. Sheldon fought the guilt over his words to his mother, but not enough to do anything about it. Also, last thing he wanted was to open another conversation up about feelings.

As soon as he pulled up, he felt relief. Finally, he could see his Meamaw. It was too long since he last saw her. OF course that time it was in her home, her home with Poppop. That relief feeling was leaving him quickly. Now, Sheldon looked around at her new home. Look at all the sick people. It was everything he had not to steal a mask from one of the nurse stations. So many old people, so many germs. And the smell! It was overwhelming, like Ben Gay mixed with urine. Sterile and dirty at the same time.

Mary led Sheldon through the doors to a court yard. "Meamaw isn't in that building?" Sheldon looked back. "Oh no, that is for if she gets very sick. This place has three levels. One level for minimum care, that's where Meamaw is. Another level is for more care. They have nurses and such to look after them. Then there's the last section that we walked through. That is the intensive care section. I shouldn't have taken you through there, but I wanted to get to the courtyard area, and that was quickest route. Here we go.."

There was Meamaw sitting in rocker, fanning herself with her head back finishing a huge laugh. She was large woman, but not too big. Great for hugging. She was looking so comfortable in the heat. Sheldon almost ran to her to her side.

"Meamaw!" "Shelly Bean!" They yelled at the same time. Sheldon didn't hesitate, he leaned down and gave her the biggest hug he had given her since he was a child.

"Now now Shelly, don't be choking me now. I missed you too, Shelly bean. Now come sit here so I can look at you." Sheldon sat at the empty chair next to her. Mary gave her quick hug and said, "I am going to call on Missy and set up dinner plans, you two have a good chat. I'll be fixing on leaving for about 45 minutes or so, I'll come back after."

Sheldon didn't say goodbye to his mom, he didn't want to lose his grip on his Meamaw. He held her hand as they spoke, not wanting to let it go, fearing he might lose something.

"Well now Meamaw, what's this about here." Sheldon's Texas accent got thick when he was around her.

"Well, I'll tell you Shelly, I love it here. I got flowers, don't have to water. I got food, don't have to cook. I got clean sheets, don't have wash. I got friends and a Canasta trophy to boot. Yes sir, should have moved in here years ago."

"Well, it is nice here in the courtyard. But what about your home, don't you miss it? All your stuff is there. All Poppop stuff is there…." Sheldon voice trailed off.

"Well it aint no home without Poppop. I tried to keep it up. Thinking if I did I would hold on to something of his. But I realized it wasn't the home, it wasn't the tools or the books, or the walls that made me miss him. I missed him no matter where I was. " Meamaw words hung on the air. She hadn't thought for a long time about the things of Poppop. She sniffed the air and started again with shrug, " But I realized that no matter where I was, I was gonna miss him. So, I made the house more my own. But I was lonely. I try and keep busy, I do, but it is getting harder for me. Here I have everything I ever want. The love I have for Poppop came with me. It wasn't in the house or the house itself. It is in me."

Sheldon saw her eyes light up, like he hadn't seen in years. He let her talk just to see them shine again, "God that man… I loved that man… He Was Such a pain in the behind! He had his ways, you know. He had to have things just so. Everyone has a way the way they like things, but he HAD to have it that way. It was easy for me just to let him have his way, you know. I loved that I could make him happy with simple things like, making his favorite drink, or fixing his food. He had a way he folded clothes, you know, he taught you that. Every once in awhile I got him to change something, like when they was out of Clorox or something. But it was so easy loving him… You know why? Cause I knew he loved me too. He was never much for lovey dovey stuff but behind closed doors… " She looked far away now. Sheldon saw a glint in her eye he had never seen before.

"How did you know he loved you, Meamaw?" Sheldon brought her back with his question.

"Well, Shelly, his actions, you know. He wanted to be with me. Like silly times, all the time. He always asked me things, even though he knew the answer. He loved to hear me talk. He always made time for me. He held me when it mattered and scolded me when I needed it. He and I were partners, even before all this woman's lib nonsense. He and I were equals. He knew he could depend on me, no matter what happened to us. He was my rock and I was his. You know, all the trouble we had with the business in the 70's cause of that damn Jimmy Carter, we got through it.

"We, being together, ya know, I mean, it was the one thing I could depend on when everything else seemed too much to handle, everything around us crashed, he was there. "

Now it was Sheldon turn to look far away. The flood of images in his brain. Amy looking out for the security when he was fighting Wolwitz for the parking spot. Amy making him spaghetti and Strawberry Quik, Amy fighting with him against Leonard during the table debacle. Amy letting him work in her lab during his vacation, taking him to the zoo, letting him out of Valentine's day dinner. Amy was there during Kripke's work triumph. She defended him to the group constantly. She was there when he needed someone to talk to during the Priya contract fiasco. Amy was there.

Meamaw saw that familiar look in his eyes. "Looks like my Shelly has the same kind of thing too. So tell me honey, what's gonna on with your lady friend? Mary tells me she's a scientist like you?"

Sheldon sighed, "No Meamaw, not at all, she in Neurobiology and I'm in Physics."

"Well, honey, there both in the science side of street, so to speak. What's gonna on with that, honey. You've been away. Is she okay with that? I couldn't stand to be away from Poppop for more than a week. You know, when he went to Korea, that was hardest time of my life. I prayed everyday. I knew he needed me to strong. Every time I wrote him, told him things were okay, sure I missed him, but I was fine. I never ever told him I cried every night so hard that my sides ached. I don't think he ever knew."

Sheldon couldn't help but think maybe that is what Amy is doing. He couldn't think about that now. He had to focus on finding what his way…" Well Meamaw I doubt Amy is crying over me. We talk all the time. She is fine. I am going back soon and everything will be fine. " He said it more for him than for her.

"Well honey, you have quite a girl there that would let you up and run off for months on end. She must love you lots, sugar plum. Oh, that reminds me, would you fetch me some of that plum pudding over there on the cart?"

Sheldon let go of hand and grabbed a pudding cup. God know what is in this thing, looks like a petri dish Amy had at the lab one day. Yuck.

"Here you go Meamaw." He loved the way she enjoyed everything. Every little thing brought her joy. She never seemed bothered. She never complained, unless it was politics. Boy could she put away pudding. " Anyway, I am still looking for new field to study."

"What's wrong with the old one?"

Sheldon debated weather or not to give his Meamaw his standard lecture on String theory, but declined. "Its lost interest for me. I need to focus on something new."

"Well, honey pot, you could do both, right? Something new and something old. Used your old work and bring in some news things. Like keeping your room, but just changing the paint."

Sheldon had never thought about that. He always had such an all or nothing attitude about the whole proposition. If he could incorporate string theory in other fields, that might work. He would have to think on that some more. Hmmm interesting…

"Well moonpie, I think it time I got to the Game room. We are learning a new game called 500. I think ill like it and take these folks for their milk money. I excel at so many things you know.. "

Sheldon walked his grandmother to the card room. As soon as she entered she was greeted with open arms by, what Sheldon's estimation, was a least 15 people, a horde of Meamaw friends. Meamaw was so proud to show off Sheldon, her little moonpie. She was always so proud of him, loved to talk about him to all her friends. Now here he was in the flesh. Sheldon was not too thrilled to be on display, or the constant hand shaking by strangers, but he was used to it when it came to Meamaw. She showed him off at church, showed him off every time she could. Funny, how he didn't mind it with her. He loved her and he wanted her to be happy, even if that meant it was a little uncomfortable for him sometimes.

Thankfully, Mary and Missy came to rescue him just in the nick of time before he was going to have to be her partner for the cards. He gave his Meamaw a big hug and promised to see her tomorrow. Now he had to deal with the least favorite part of the trip to Texas: Missy and the baby.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Well, well, well Shelly Bean, what ya'all doing here? Showing up after riding the rails like some damn hobo." Missy teased her brother. God, it was always so easy. Too easy.

"Im not a hobo, I didn't eat beans from a can, I don't have a knap sack, I don't have holes in my shoes…" Sheldon could never understand how they could have come from the same womb. Sometimes his sister was dumb as a box of bricks.

"I'm just joshing you hun, it's good to see you. I been worried about you, we all have. Its good to see you. Hey, want to see the baby?"

"Well, lets get this over with, I knew I would have to sooner than later." Sheldon did not like children. Lord know where they have been, their dirty hands and snot noses. Good lord, the smell, just a bundle of germs.

Missy brought the baby to him. "Here you go Uncle Dr Cooper." Sheldon took the baby in two hands and held him out like a shirt he was going to fold. He looks so different from 7 months ago. The baby was sleepy and just about ready for a nap. His hand out stretched trying to grab Sheldon's face. Sheldon was fascinated. His hands were so small, yet chubby, like his wrists. His nose was clean of snot, thank the lord. Dark hair and blue eyes, just like Sheldon. Family traits run deep. His head was so big, yet his body was so small. Sheldon moved the baby to his lap, Holding him so he wouldn't fall off he balanced the child on his two legs. Missy handed him a bottle, "Here, hold him in your bent arm and feed him this, he's ready for a nap."

Sheldon moved the baby closer to his chest as instructed and held the bottle out for the baby who grabbed it and started to suck it down. Sheldon marveled at the child, he had never been so close to a baby before. When he held the child 7 months ago, he never let it get too close, fearing he would break it. Nervous, he looked at his mother for guidance. "You're doing just fine Shelly, keep it up."

As the baby ate, his movement slowed, his breathing became more regular. Sheldon could smell talc and milk. His blue eyes were closing more now, showing signs of sleep. Sheldon slowly took the empty bottle away and started to slightly sway with baby. He started to sing to him soft kitty as the baby drifted off to sleep. Never before had he seen such contentment. Lucky kid. Just then his attention was distracted by a flash. Missy was playing photographer, snapping what seemed like 100 pictures.

"Shhh," Sheldon scolded, "He's asleep, you're gonna wake him up with all your flashing and snapping."

"Oh no Shelly, when he's out, he's out for at least an hour. He been such a easy baby. He hardly ever cries except when he's hungry. All I need to feed him and love him. He's a dream. "

"Well he has got Cooper blood, not much for crying they are." Mary piped in. She remembers taking care of her babies. New born twins were handful with a toddler to boot. But she never remembers too much crying when they were small. That came later with all their fighting and caterwauling.

Sheldon was getting sleepy himself. Slowly, he put the baby on his chest while rubbing his back. He slowly rocks the baby, humming as if instinctively giving comfort. The baby nuzzled in his neck and fell asleep on his chest. That was enough for Sheldon to lay back on the couch, baby on his chest their rhythmic breathing synced. The baby and man fell asleep together in contentment. Missy snapped one last picture of Sheldon and the baby on the couch, lying together. The last one she sent to Sheldon on his phone. His only picture of him and the baby he would ever need.

Sheldon woke up feeling the most rested he had in 3 months. Finally descent sleep. He must had slept for more than 8 hours when he woke up, but it was still night out. After getting his bearings, he head to the rest room. A shower and new set of clothes would do a world of good. While he was showering, he felt strangly calm. He hadn't had a long shower in such a long time. He let the water hit his head and glide down his body, as if it was washing away more than dirt. Finally his muscles were relaxing and he was feeling more himself again. After he finished his shower, he fished through his bag for his clothes. He noticed a light on phone. _2 New Messages_. Standing in his towel, he decided to see what they were. One was from Missy, the picture of him and the baby. A smile grew over his face. He should send it to Amy, she had asked about the baby the last time he was home. She wanted to know how it felt to hold the baby. Now it was different for some reason, he didn't know what the feeling was, just contentment, he guesses. Speaking of Amy, the second message was from her. As he opened it, his smile began to fade as he read the words:

_Dear Sheldon,_

_I trust you are well and have arrived in Texas safely. I am writing you today to discuss a matter that I have been struggling with for some time. When you left, I supported your decision. I thought you need time to adjust to the changes that were thrust upon you. Some of these changes were out of anyone's control and some were not. I am going to discuss the one I can control. Our relationship._

_3 months have passed and I realize as I talk to you that you are still holding on to something that will not let you deal with these changes and move forward with your career plans or living situation. I also want to move forward, however I realize that my even wanting that is causing you pain. When we talk, I feel your leaving is in part from my pushing you. I realize that is selfish of me. I never wanted to upset you, cause you discomfort or push you into something that you so clearly don't want. I too am in pain from the idea that I am in this relationship alone. Each time I talk to you, it reminds me how much you don't want this, and how much I do. I cant do this to you or me anymore knowing you want me to let you go. As of the date of this letter, I am giving notice for the termination of the relationship agreement. This should give you the peace of mind you need and ability for me to move forward as well. I trust this letter is satisfactory notice; I have reviewed the relationship agreement and notice is required in writing._

_Love,_

_Amy Farrah Fowler_

Sheldon slumped on the bed in disbelief and all the breath knocked out of him. Why is she doing this? Why now? He didn't want this, not this. She is doing this for us? How, Sheldon thought, How can it be for us if we aren't together. Anger grew in him as he reread the message. _How can she do this? She doesn't want to cause me pain? Really? Then what the hell is this,_ he screamed to himself. _The nerve of that woman! The audacity to assume she know my feelings, my thoughts?_

_How could possible know what I am feeling, I never tell her!_

As soon as words left his tongue he realized it. "_I never tell her._" He said out loud. How could she know he thinks about her everyday. He dreams of their kiss on the train, her brown hair, her green eyes staring at him, at his soul. How could she know how much he loves her cooking, her laugh, her wit, her smile, her brain. She is always there when he needs her. He needs her now, more than ever before, more than oxygen. Oh god, no, he thought, no. Sheldon tried to breathe in, but no relief. There not enough air, not enough. _OH god, no_, he started to pace holding his hand to head to make it stop. _Oh god no_, he thought, how do this. _"Termination of the relationship"," peace of mind", "feel as I do"_, her words were like whipped on his back. More pacing now, he keeps rhythmic motion on his head with his fist. Each time he hits his head he suffers the shock again and repeats, "_Let her go_". 10, 20 times he repeats it, "_Let her go_", as if saying over and over will make it stick, or make it go away.

The commotion wakes his mother in the next room. Mary grabs her robe and heads down the hall to his room. She can hear him from the hall, smacking sound. As she opens the door she sees Sheldon, walking in a circle, one arm across his chest hold himself, the other hitting the side of his head in a rapid motion. Mary runs to him, trying to hold his hand down, rocking him back and forth cradling him. He is chanting with a far away look. She know this look, she remembers as a child having to hold him down during his worst episodes; She knows what to do. She hold his head with one hand and his back with the other, wraps herself around his slumped broken body. She slowly rocks with him, humming, rubbing his back. Sheldon slowly stops chanting, and starts humming in sync with his mother. There they sat huddled together for what felt like hours, rock back and forth, humming.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Sheldon pushes his eggs around his plate, making patterns. He was not hungry and the idea of sitting up at a table was enough to make his stomach ache. Mary would have none of it.

"Shelly, you eat your food now. We can talk when you've eaten. "

Sheldon was prone to starving himself when he was upset. Sometimes his skinny frame was a indication of his mental state when all else failed. That's one of the reasons Mary knew Sheldon was happy lately, he was not so skinny. 4 years ago, he was skin and bones. Every since Amy came into his life, he was filling out a little. Not getting fat, but bigger, stronger. His chest was wider, he seemed stronger.

These last 3 months had done a world of hurt on that boy, Mary thought. This thing with Amy might be enough to send him over the edge. But the only thing that surprised her was that Amy held out for so long. Sheldon was hard to love. He never seemed to return it. Mary knew better, because she knew his heart. He was in love with Amy. He's guilt had made him drive her away. He was going to lose that girl. Sheldon heart was broken; she had seen it before: So called childhood friends who betrayed him, a father who didn't know how to love him. Mary fixed it, every time. Mary didn't know if she could fix it this time.

Sheldon was forcing the eggs up to his mouth, each bite was torture. He sipped the juice in cup instead, letting the acid run down his throat. It was raw from his guttural chanting. Why was he so upset? Isnt this what he wanted? She had broken up with him because she knew he wanted that. Even in her last action in the relationship, she was one who was thoughtful. She read his needs, and fulfilled them, even when he didn't know he needed something, she was there. He didn't want to learn how to deal with closure, but she spent a whole day trying to get him over it. He balked at it. Laughing at her as she went down the stairs, knowing he was going undo everything she had done for him. He balked at her attempt to get him to have more feelings for him. She had to use her fancy biology background just to get him to have feelings for him. He fought her at every turn. Even when he left, he didn't give her a second thought. He didn't deserve her. He didn't deserve her efforts or her love. The hole in his heart was so deep it echoed back his pain in his ears. He lost her; she didn't break up with him. She was doing what _he wanted_. He was the one who let her go.

Mary last saw her son like this when he lost Pop Pop, or his dad: Lost in thought unable to cry. This time, his tears just flowed out his eyes. She didn't even think he knew they were there.

"Honey, I read the message from Amy. Can we talk about it now, do you think you can."

"Nothing much to say, mom. She broke up with me, that's that." Gathering strength, he continued. "I shouldn't let it bother me so much, sorry for my outburst. I was just surprised that's all. It is better this way, I can concentrate on work, less distractions. Yeah, this is better this way." He murmured.

"Oh what a complete and utter load of crap Sheldon!" MIssy yelled at him and hit the table. She had been listening to him jabber on. She couldn't take it anymore. Jarring him out of self pity was going to take the four horseman, than she was ready to bring it.

"What are you yelling about. It is not crap, as you so crudely say. It is true. Amy is better off without me and me without her. End of story. " Sheldon was defiant now.

"Well, Shelly, I know for a fact you're wrong. Yes wrong! The great and powerful Dr Cooper is wrong. Amy is not better off without you, not by a long shot. And I know for a fact you are not better off without her. You are better with her than with anyone. Better than your friends, hell, even better than family! She gets you talking, gets you thinking. No one can do that. She doesn't put up with your, Pardon my language again, but your crap!" Missy said her peace and went into the other room.

Now it was Mary's turn to smack some sense in that boy. Mary was standing now, ready to give the final blow over his thick head. " There is only one time I have ever seen a woman as in love as your Amy. One time. You want to know who? You just talked with her yesterday. "

Sheldon looked away. He only knew what love was because of Meamaw and Poppop. It certainly wasn't from his mother and father. Meamaw and Pop pop had a love you could scent out a mile away. They glowed with it. If Amy had just a spark of what they had, he would be the luckiest man alive. Could he have had that and lost it? How could he have thought to throw that away. He was so afraid it. Like a precious mint comic book, that he didn't want to touch. Love, if it wasn't perfect, wasn't worth it. He had seen it go bad with his parents. They "loved" each other, but it wasn't good for either of them. He didn't want that. He pushed that away, along with most of his feelings. But if he had a chance to have what Meamaw had. But how could he?

Sheldon looked back at his mom, his eyes still weeping while he was unaware. In a small cracking voice, he asked a simple question to his mom, " How do I get her back?"

Mary smiled, stroked his hair back while she told him. "I don't know honey, but I would start with not being afraid of it and go from there. "


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Sheldon slept in his bed finally. He really missed his bed. He missed the comfort of the familiar. At first he was comfortable, content. Then he adjusted himself again, then again, then again. UG! He thought sleeping in his bed from childhood would be the best part about coming to Texas. Boy was he wrong. He did better on the couch with the baby. Why is the bed no working for him? Without a second thought, he leaped up, checked under it, checked the mattress, checked the sheets. All the same. Something was different, he was sure of it. What are the variables? _He_ was the variable.

He was different.

He had changed. At first, he was mad at this realization. Why did he have to change? Now he cant even get a good night's sleep because of it. He should be able to sleep in his own bed from his childhood… Maybe that was problem, he thought. Maybe he had finally out grown his bed.

The last time he slept well was in Pasadena. It was right before his train journey of self discovery. He had just talked to Amy on Skype. He took the laptop with him in the room while they talked. He was already in his pajamas, and her Skype call was cutting into his sleeping. She was in her pajamas too, on her lap top in her lying down. Talking to him on her side, he could see her hip deep down to her waist and slowly rise back up to her torso. She was so womanly. Her hand was bent holding back her hair that was sort of unkempt on the other side of her face. She didn't have glasses on, so she didn't see him drift in and out of conscientiousness. She was so beautiful. He was fascinated with her conversation and didn't want it to end. She was asking his advice, which he loved. She was talking about his new path from string theory and how it related to paper she had read. As he listened to her voice, it was so calming. He slowly drifted off to sleep. She must have fallen asleep as well. Later, he woke up to see her still on his screen. The call never disconnected. She was sleeping on her side, but twisted so her back was on the bed. Her pajamas had open just slightly so he could see just a hint of her breasts. She was so peaceful , so beautiful. He was so thankful Skype had not dropped the call. It was like they were sleeping in the same bed, but not. It was perfection. He drifted back to sleep with the sound of her breathing, leaving his laptop open, Skype running, until the battery died.

Now he had work on sleeping again. He had to get sleep. He was going to see Meamaw tomorrow and then head straight back to California. He had a plan, but it was long shot. He needed the help of Penney, which was probably not forthcoming. The more he thought about his plan, the calmer he became. Finally he drifted off to sleep. Dreaming of Koalas and dominoes and strawberry quik.

The next morning Sheldon woke up with a powerful craving for brownies. He usually didn't crave certain food, but wow, if this is what pregnant women go through when they have a craving, no wonder they are mess. After his morning ritual, he went down stairs and was greeted by his mother in the kitchen. They smell of bacon and pancakes almost kicked the brownie craving out of his mind, but not quite.

"Morin Shelly, you feel like eating today. " It was said as a demand, not a request. " It's a fair piece down to Meamaw's place and I know you don't like to eat that food. "

"Alright mom, I'll eat. Hey, do you think you can make some brownies for my trip?"

" Sure honey, anything you need." I'm glad you're going home son. It is good thing for you to be with your friends. They love you, you know?"

"Thanks mom, yes I think they do. I need to work on showing them I know it more." Sheldon said to his plate and himself more than he did to her. Remembering Professor Proton's decree " _Appreciate them._"

After breakfast, Sheldon said goodbye to his nephew and sister. He was going straight to the train station after Meamaw's. He really was surprised how long he held the baby when Missy pushed him in his arms. He was smiling this time. Trying to grab Sheldon's mouth with chubby hands. This time, Sheldon held his hand out and let the baby grab hold of his fingers. He was teething and loved to knaw on things. Normally, Sheldon would have been repulsed, but it fascinated him. His teeth were just barely noticeable on his knuckle. The baby let out a few coos and giggles. Sheldon could have watched that baby for hours but he had to go. He handed the baby back to Missy.

"Now, it is never too early to start learning. You can start teaching him sign language at this age. With an increase of language skills, he can easier communicate his needs and…" He was cut off by Mary

"Aright, Uncle Dr Cooper, lets go. You can be here all day if you're going to tell that girl how to educate that baby. Take care Missy, I'll be back after I drop Shelly off."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Sheldon and Mary walked through the courtyard to find Meamaw again. She was in her same spot, same friends. Sheldon thought, I bet that's her spot. God he missed his spot back home. It gave him comfort. He greeted Meamaw with a big hug, but she knew something was different today. His eyes told it all: Blood shot and tear stained.

"You sit right here and tell me what's happen Moonpie. You tell me everything. "

Sheldon let it all out, all of it. The fight before he left, the way he left her, the calls on the road, the Skype call that brought him here. Everything, including the message he couldn't stop reading even though his eidict memory had already memorized every line. Every time he read it, he hed hope the words would change. He told her of his plan to get her back. Meamaw took it all in, rocking slowly in her chair.

Finally, she asked him question that broke his flood of memories.

"Shelly, do you know what love is?"

What kind of question was that? Actually, it was the best question. He thought he knew. He saw what Pop Pop and Meamaw had; that was love. He loved his spot. He loved his mother. He even loved his sister and that baby. But he knew what she was really asking.

"Why did you ask me that Meamaw, what does that have to do with it?" He was afraid of her answer. He was afraid that he couldn't love someone like they loved each other. He was different. He always knew he was special. But did that mean he wasn't capable of love? It was his biggest fear.

"I asked you that honey, because it has everything to do with it. When you met this girl, you wanted to own her. You wanted her to be yours and not go out with that comic book fella, right?"

"True, I asked her to be my girlfriend when she was out with someone else. But I certainly didn't want to own her. " He wondered where she was going with this, maybe she was getting a little old after all.

"Well, you certainly didn't want any else to go out with her. Reminds me of your toys: when you were a kid. I got you that Star wars thinga remember? You never opened it. You just put it on your shelf and looked at it. Never played with it, never let anyone near it. "

"It was mint in the box Boba Fett. I still own it by the way, it is worth over 2 thousand dollars. "

"Would you ever sell it? Or open it?"

"No, never. But what does have to do with Amy" Sheldon remember his conversation with Spock over the transporter toy Penny got him and Leonard. Somehow there was a lesson here he is missing.

" Listen honey, I know if anything ever happened to that toy, you would have been crushed. But by not opening it, not playing with, you missed out on a chance to have fun. You missed out on those memories. You were too afraid you'd mess it up by playing with it."

"So I am going to ask you, do you know want to be with girl because you let her go?"

Sheldon looked away. Could that be true? He didn't know how to process that. Finally, he looked back and said, " I wanted her before she broke up with me. I just didn't know it."

"And she didn't know it either. Moonpie, you have to show her you love her. You have get close, let your guard down. Let her in. If you only want her when she gone, she'll make that happen. "

Sheldon stared with a blank expression at his Meamaw. How could she cut to his core so quick?

Meamaw was going to have to spell it out for this boy…"Now with this girl… You don't get to close to her, do you? I know you honey, I know you hate touching and all that. But let me ask you this, have you ever NOT hugged me when you see me? You know why? You're not afraid. Sure I could have germs and such, but you're not afraid. You know I will never hurt you, and I know you love me, and you show it."

It was true, Sheldon never shyed away from hugging or touching Meamaw. In fact the opposite was true; he felt the best when she was hugging him. He felt safe and normal. He felt accepted by her always. Others in the family tried to make him into something he wasn't. His dad making him watch Football even though he hated it. His mother trying to make him religious, when he told her from an early age it was all twaddle. Meamaw and Pop Pop always accepted him for who he was. They were a constant source of love for him. His constant… Amy's words echoed in his head. Did Amy do that too? How could she have known him so well when he never let her in?

"Youre always there for me, and you never tried to change me." Sheldon answered her.

Meamaw laugh echoed through the courtyard. "Hell yeah, I changed you! I never let you get away with nothing. You didn't want to go school. I made ya. You didn't want to go to college, I made ya. If you had your way, you would have been sitting in your room looking at your Baba doll and done never left nothing. "

"It's a Boba Fett action figure, not a doll." But that was beside the point. It was true, Meamaw pushed him when he needed it. Pop Pop too. He encouraged him to pursue science. They pushed when he needed it for his own good. For his own good. Not for them, but for him. Just like Amy. He remembered his closure experiment with her. She pushed him into that for his own good.

"Boba Fett, Bada do, What ever. The point is that need a push and this girl is doing it. Don't fight it and don't be afraid. She is showing you real love there, Moon pie. Now, I'm going to ask you, do you know what love is?"

He shook his head. Yes he did, now, he did. He had it given to him, he realized that now. Amy gave him real love. Not the kind where you get something back, or even the kind where you hold on to it because it of fear. The kind you can only hope will come along. The kind you don't want to let go.

"I do know Meamaw, but how do show it back?" His eyes said it all. The regret and worry he wont be able to do the same for her.

"Well, I know you love me. How do I know that?" Meamaw asked.

" I just do. I don't know. I hug you, I tell you. I don't know."

Meamaw sighed, "I know every time I see you. You think of me before yourself. You put away your fear of germs and touching and you hug me. I feel it in my bones. I feel in my core. You have to do that with Amy. She wont hurt on purpose. She wont be damaged by you. She already loves and accepts you. But you pushed her away for no other reason than you are afraid."

That is why he hid away from emotions. Not because he didn't have them, but because they were too intense. He had to push them aside. If he allowed them to show, he could get hurt. Seriously, irrevocably and permanently hurt. There was no way he was going through that. No way in hell.

But he was already in Hell. Hell of his own doing. Now he climb out.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 The plan

Sheldon gave his mother a quick good bye and boarded the train. His conversation with his Meamaw played over and over in his head. Today of all days he thanked god for his memory, he could replay every detail.

**Here were the facts:**

When he is with Amy, he is content.

When he is away from her, he feels lost.

He looks forward her companionship, her wit, her intelligence, her laugh.

She is only woman he has ever wanted to be with physically, or even try.

To wit: He is in love With Amy Farrah Fowler

Conclusion: He has to get her back. _Operation Fowler Conversion._

1. First thing needed: Perfect setting. Check, he knew just the place.

2. Element of surprise: He would need help from a certain Nebraska waitress for this stage of the operation. Penny better play along or he was done for. Amy would be swept off her feet by his romantic gesture… Oh right… Better add #3.

3. A romantic gesture… there's a problem. This is one area he was at a complete loss. Flowers? No unhygienic. Chocolates? To cliché. Oooh Chocolates, that reminds him.

Sheldon checks his bag, and YES! Brownies! Best train trip ever. Well, not the best. There was one other one not so long ago. He let his brilliant memory play over and over the events of Valentines day. God, he was not prepared to like that kiss. He was so mad she tricked him. Little vixen. Then when his lips met hers he liked it. Why did kiss her? Subconsciously wanted to? Could that be possible? He was wining the argument, of course, he always does. He really didn't NEED to use a kiss as argument tactic. When he kissed her, he made sure his body was away from hers. He just wanted the kiss to make a point. Once there, it was like going from middle school to college in one breath. 12 seconds. He kissed her for 12 seconds. First 4 were out of anger, next 4 he couldn't believe he was not pulling away. Last 4 seconds he was lost in it, pulling her in close, never wanting it end.

He wondered what she thought of the kiss? She must have liked it. When she mentioned adding kissing to the Relationship agreement for date nights, he didn't put up a fight. He thought it was a nice compromise. He could slowly become more physical at his own pace. She could have asked for more, but she knew date night was as much as he could handle. She always knew.

Of course now there was no relationship agreement. Nothing. Just like before. He didn't even know they if they were friends. That is why the plan has to work. It must.

_Why the hell wont the confounding waitress answer her phone. Its already 10 am! She should be up._

Of course in California, it was 8 am. Penny was not up, in fact she had only gone to sleep about 4 hours before. She had had a lot sleepless nights lately. IT was a good thing. She was excited about the wedding. But last night staying up late was not a good thing, Not at all. Last night was girls night and she stayed up late with Emily, Bernie and Poor Amy. God, did Amy need someone to talk to last night. She was wreck. A Bigger wreck than normal.

Penny thought back to the last 3 months: The first weeks after Sheldon left, Amy was doing pretty good. She was mad at Leonard for letting Sheldon go. Truth be told, she was mad at Penny too, maybe even more. But Amy was a trooper. She kept up with work, she was showing up for girls night, she was talking to Sheldon about the Grand Canyon and such. Penny thought, she probably is treating this like he is on vacation. As the weeks drew on, Amy showed up less and less at the apartment. She canceled girls night, and didn't show up for any meals at the apartment. She wasn't eating much. Bernie and Penny tried to bring her some food, but it all reminded her of Sheldon.

Then she started getting weepy at everything. Bernie had some bio conference thingy to go to again, and asked Amy. Bernadette told Penny all about it. Good idea, wrong conference. All the panels were on relationships in primates, or brain functions under emotional duress. When Amy wasn't crying, she was blank. Of course stupid Sheldon had to call her during the conference and convey how he had SUCH a good time the Durango Silverton Rail, and how Colorado is so gorgeous and every little detail about mining towns and Colorado history that Amy could give a crap about. Amy listened to all, nodding when she should, trying to put on the face she thought he wanted, no face she thought he _needed_. After he hung up, her crying was so loud they had to switch room or the Japanese business man next door was going to call the cops.

When she got back, she grew even more distant. Howard and Raj would ask her to lunch everyday, but she wasn't hungry. She worked day and night. Her eyes were a constant state of red. None of her clothes fit anymore. She was wreck.

After 2 months of this, Bernie and Penny had enough. They forced her to go out, get some food. Howard and Raj ate their lunch in her lab, so she couldn't get out of it. Raj and Raj's girlfriend even took her out clothes shopping. IT really kinda pissed Penny off that she would buy new clothes with Emily and Raj, but she had been trying to 3 years to get her out of her forever 65 clothes line. Raj was very persuasive and had a Amex black card, deadly combo on Rodeo drive. Every time there was a light of hope in Amy's eyes, stupid Sheldon would call again.

Finally, Penny had enough. She told Amy to end it with him. He was killing her. Who knew when he was coming back? And frankly, he treated her like dirt when he was here anyway.

The sadness came when Amy realized he would be better off with her, rather than the other way around. Only then did she write the message. Amy broke up with Sheldon not for Amy's sake, but for Sheldon's. An unselfish act that scared her soul. Girls night that week was a much need drunken crying fest. Maybe watching the "Notebook," wasn't the best idea Penny had, but hey, Amy needed to let it all out. Amy cried so hard she felt in her back, chanting "he doesn't need me, " over and over again. Bernie, Emily, Penny all wrapped themselves around her, hugging her, rocking her back and forth, stroking her head, humming to get her to calm down. It was all they could do. Except kill Sheldon of course.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 Resolute Amy

Amy was so thankful to Leonard for driving home after girls night. She didn't think she drive sober, let alone after 2 bottles of Penny's cheap wine. By the time she went home her buzz had worn off to just a headache. The worst kind of headache too, crying head ache. God, she needed drugs. Like Bernie drugs, with less crazy side effects. On the way home, Leonard was afraid to break the silence. Amy spoke first.

"Thanks so much for taking me home Leonard, I know it's late and you have to sleep for work."

She let her mind wander while Leonard drove on the Colorado Street bridge over the Arroyo, the old gas lamp lighting their way. She tried to remember it was called the "suicide bridge". Amy would never do it suicide is selfish. Amy is never selfish, but she was sad to think how desperate people would be to attempt it. It was a long way down to the bottom.

"NO problem at all, I knew I was going to do, I so I took a nap for a while in SHel… "Before he could finish the sentence he saw she had tensed up. It was another 5 blocks to Eagle Rock Blvd before she finally asked:

" SO, have you heard from him?" So much hope in one sentence. Maybe he had got her message and was planning a surprise return? No, she knew better. He was probably elated when he got the message. Best part of his trip, she imagined.

Leonard wanted more than anything to answer something else, anything else rather than the truth. "No, Amy, I'm sorry, I haven't heard from him since that fiasco at the Kansas City Denny's. "

She had to laugh. Sheldon's biggest crisis of the trip was related around getting bacon instead of sausage on his Grand Slam. Oh the humanity.

Finally they were in Glendale. The cities are right next to each other, but seem so far when you're alone in your thoughts. Leonard was so sweet, getting her into her apartment, helping into bed. She was asleep before she hit the pillow.

Leonard walked back to his car in cool night air. It was nice to have a break in the heat of summer. He missed Sheldon too. He couldn't believe he said that, but it was true. He was constant pain in ass, a source of utter contempt, but never the less, he missed the idiot. And an Idiot he was. Amy stood her ground with Sheldon, never wavering in her support for him. She ALWAYS defended him, even when he was so so so wrong. She broke up with him because she knew that's what he needed. Sheldon was a the luckiest idiot and didn't even know it. Leonard wondered, would Penny be that for him too? They were getting married, and it was great but, it stuck in his head that she only asked him because he was safe. What if her career did get off the ground, would she still need him, or worse, would she still want him? His insecurities were hard to mask. His thoughts might be death of them.

After a night of drinking, nothing is better than a huge glass of water. Amy relished every drop, practically licking the glass. The sleep did her good. She even managed to eat a piece of toast. She looked over at her harp. She had learned a few new songs, maybe it was too early to try them out. Oh , of course it was too earlier. She had called in sick to work in anticipation of girls night. It was 2 pm and she was ready to move one . Still she didn't want to play. Instead she blasted her Ipod to her new favorite song.

**"Chandelier"**

_Party girls don't get hurt_  
_Can't feel anything, when will I learn_  
_I push it down, push it down_

_I'm the one "for a good time call"_  
_Phone's blowin' up, they're ringin' my doorbell_  
_I feel the love, feel the love_

_1,2,3 1,2,3 drink_  
_1,2,3 1,2,3 drink_  
_1,2,3 1,2,3 drink_

_Throw em back, till I lose count_

_I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier_  
_I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist_  
_Like it doesn't exist_  
_I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry_  
_I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier_

_And I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down won't open my eyes_  
_Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cause I'm just holding on for tonight_  
_Help me, I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down won't open my eyes_  
_Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cause I'm just holding on for tonight_  
_On for tonight_

_Sun is up, I'm a mess_  
_Gotta get out now, gotta run from this_  
_Here comes the shame, here comes the shame_

_1,2,3 1,2,3 drink_  
_1,2,3 1,2,3 drink_  
_1,2,3 1,2,3 drink_

Amy Farrah Fowler was no Party Girl, like the song. But god did she want to stop this feeling. She did her best with Sheldon. If letting him go was the best for him, she did her duty. One of the stupid Doctor Who videos came to mind: " I did my duty for Queen and country, I did my duty for Queen and Country." The lady in the show got turned into a cyber man thing. She really wasn't paying attention. Cyber people don't have emotions. Sounds good to her. She remembers how she was when she first met Sheldon. SO Robotic, so rigid. That was good. Before she fell in love, she was focused on Sweet mistress that is Science. That was what she needed. Back to basics.

Although, she had to admit, she was loving the new clothes Emily and Raj talked her into getting. Raj was the sweetest, but firm. NO MORE Cardigans! Hypocrite, he wears sweaters all the time! Emily is changing him though. He is more suave and confident. _See, not every has to turn into a huge baby when change is suggested by their girlfriend_… she lamented.

Emily is so lucky! Never mind, Amy thought. Now is time for me. I need to get out of this rut. I need an endorphin rush. Exercise! Nothing says hello Endorphin than exercise. Unfortunately, she didn't belong to a gym. Oh, but Cal Tech has a gym. Leonard mentioned he almost died there chatting up Ms. Davis from Human Resources. Fine. She'll go to the gym at Caltech and get on the tread mill. Couldn't hurt and she can check on work while she is there. Finally, a plan that doesn't have to do with waiting for Sheldon to call.

About an hour later she was staring at the parking spot she had fought with Bernie about on Sheldon's behalf. She remembered playing look out for him. _Freaking pigs_… She remembered showing Sheldon her legs, thinking hope against hope, he might say something nice. Of Course he didn't. Didn't even notice. She was such a fool. Pushing him was dangerous territory, he was such a flight risk. I guess she proved that 3 months ago.

Of course Amy blamed herself for Sheldon leaving. He never led her to believe otherwise. She knew she was straw that broke him. After all, didn't he leave right after he blew up at her? When he called, he was distant, aloof. Lately he tended to be almost angry at her. She was holding him back. She loved him too much. She knew she wasn't helping him, she was keeping him back. As much pain, soul crushing pain, it caused her, she knew he needed to be alone, free from obligations. The Relationship Agreement was an albatross around his neck. If, in her last act as girlfriend, she could release him from it, freeing him and making him happy, she would. Amy would do anything for Sheldon, even if she died a little doing it.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Around 3 pm, Penny finally got up. Some damn buzzing sound was invading her head. God, what a night.. Too much wine. The Girls drank the cheap wine she bought, she stuck with vodka. Nothing says, "Hey your best friend's boyfriend is self center, narcissistic ego maniacal, DICK" like a few screwdrivers. That is what she would like to do Sheldon, put screwdrivers in that stupid head of his to turn off his, "Sheldon and his Brain. " crap that keeps him from being decent to Amy. Huh, not just Amy, everyone. Boy was he on her list today. Still, she was proud she used the word "narcissistic" properly. What the frack is that damn buzzing?

_Speak of the devil_**. 15 new message: Sheldon Cooper. **

_OH hell no_, _what does that little praying mantis want now?!_

Penny wrote back, finally.

P-What the hell do you want Sheldon.

S- Amy broke up with me, and I need your help to get her back.

P- Good, Im glad. And screw you, you don't deserve her.

S-I hardly think that Deserve is the right word. She and I belong together.

P-She doesn't BELONG with anyone, least of someone who treated her like you have. She's had it. You should be happy. Isn't that what you wanted?

S- No, I am not happy, far from it. I am anywhere but happy. Happy was a long time ago. I miss it.

P- I don't know how to process that… Anyway, what the hell do you want from me.

S-I am going to get her back, but I need a little help from you.

P-You know, I don't think so pal. Not till I know you DESERVE her. So there.

S- You're impossible.

P-Fine, have a HAPPY life.

S- fine. I have come to a realization that she is only woman for me. Ever. I just want to earn her back. I need to earn her back. I need to prove myself to her. Not for her, not for me, but for us. We are better, together. She and I better people, happier, healthier together. I need her like oxygen and I want to spend the rest of my life making sure her every breath is content. She is my soul mate. She is the other half of the sky.

S- are you there?

S-Did your battery run out?

P-okay… you got me. I'm going to call you now. You had better come up with something good. I mean really really fricken good.

S-;) I hope so.

Amy found the Gym finally. She hadn't been to one of these since College. Bad memories involving some sorority girls and shaving cream.

"Shrug it off Fowler, Focus…"

She found a machine, and after a few tries, she figured out how to measure her calories and heart rate. 30 minutes should do it. She starts slow and starts to build up speed.

Hey, not too bad Fowler. She tells herself. Just when she was getting comfortable, and person walks in.

The man is average hight, light brown hair. He takes the machine next to hers.

"Nice day for walk." He smirks at her. His speech is different. Something familiar.

"Yes, If you like to avoid skin cancer and LA Smog." She retorts. She is not up for a conversation. Hard enough to focus on this damn machine without idle chit chat.

"Well, if you want to avoid skin canswer, you certainly hawe the wight outfit on."

God what was that speech. OH my god. That is like Elmer Fudd! Wow. Be nice Fowler.

"Yes well, I hate to be cold. Although it is getting hot. Amy took off her jacket. Underneath she was wearing a long sleeve yoga top. It was modest, but it hugged her curves. It had stitching on the sides which made her waist look incredible. The top had a v neck. Her workout companion notice she already had a glistening of sweat dripping down between her perfect chest. Not too big, not to small. Wowser, this girl was hot, in a nerdy science chick kind of way.

"Name's Barwy, Barwy Kripke"

At that, Amy almost fell off the treadmill. Kripke? Sheldon's colledge? Cal Tech was a huge university. Why did she have to end up with Kripke.

"OH, I know who you are. You worked with Dr Cooper."

You have me at a disadwantage, fair lady. Oh, you know Cooper?"

"I did, I am his girl… uh, I mean Ex-Girlfriend."

That's when Kripke fell off the treadmill. THIS was the girlfriend? How in God's name did Cooper COOPER, land this babe? And oh the stories he would tell. Kripke knew she was freak! His kind of Freak… God he looked forward to Cooper coming in for no other reason than to find out how, what and and in what what he was sticking it to his girlfriend. No wonder he was distracted. Luckiest guy in the world… Hold up, did she say Ex… OH yeah…

" Ex huh? His loss… Definitely. Did he lose you when he went all psycho and took off. If I was with you, you would never be alone." Kripke was so smooth… SO he thought.

Amy was incensed. "First of all, it wasn't his loss, but ours. Second, he did not go all psycho, he's on sabbatical. Third, and I cannot stress this enough, there is not a universe in all the possible dimensions of M theory that you and I would be together. "

"Quoting String theory to make your point. That is so hot. Well, it was niwce to meet you, Ms?"

"Dr Amy Farrah Fowler."

"God, that's hot. Well, Dr Flower, I cannot strwess this enough, how much I look forward to seeing you around the Gym again. " and with that, Kripke left, walking backwards as to check out the sweet view of Dr. Fowlers behind.

Amy needed a SHOWER. Like Right now!

By the time Penny got off the phone she was convinced of his love for her. She had never, ever, ever, in her wildest imaginations that SHELDON, FRIKCEN SHELDON could talk like about anyone. He was head over heals. Penny wondered how so much could change in a few weeks.

Last time they spoke, all he could talk about was some damn stupid Denny's thing and how Penny should have been his waitress it would have been better. She thought he might have been insulting her, but she wasn't sure. All she knew was Amy was hurting and he didn't seem to care. She called him on then. He was oblivious. Penny's remembered their conversation from 2 months ago:

_"OH Penny….Penny, Penny, Penny, when will you learn. Amy and I are fine. WE talk, she knows I'm just searching for something. She is patient. There's nothing wrong."_

_"SHELDON, there's nothing wrong with YOU, but Amy is really upset." Trying a different tatic, Penny sofens her speech… "She misses you, she doesn't want to tell you, but she misses you terrible._

_"Terribly… She misses me Terribly Not Terrible. Good God your Grammar woman! And how can she miss me, we talk on the phone and Skype when I can get WIfi? Impossible."_

_"Sheldon, you're an idiot."_

_"Of all things you could say. That is the funniest. Great talking to you Penny!"_


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Penny remembering her last conversation with Sheldon was not helping his case. especially since she was yelling at him," don't you remember what you said." Of course he did, his memory wouldn't let him forget. It all seemed like such a long time ago. He felt different, resolved. He knew he had to get Amy back. That was his only purpose now. But this caterwauling waitress wasn't making it easy…

" So. Let me get this straight.. You go to Texas, Talk with Meamaw and realize you love Amy? Where the hell was this so called love months ago? Years ago? She has been patient with you. You know she will take you back, she's in love with you. But What the hell are you going to do when you get her? Treat her same? I wont be a part of that Sheldon. No way in Hell."

"Penny, I am not the same person as when I left. Even from a few day ago. I feel as if someone gave me the Rosetta Stone of everything that has been wrong with my life. It has to do, not just with Amy, but with my handling of people. Amy is key to that. I k now if she I were together, we would be unstoppable. All things would fall into place."

"oh, how funny, quoting that fortune teller… I seem to remember you said she was, what was the word? Malarkey? Isn't that right." Penny hoped he would see the hypocrisy… no such luck.

Sheldon sighed…. "She wasn't Malarkey, fortune telling is Malarkey. But even a clock is right 2 times a day. As much as it pains me to say this: She was right. Not because she had _Sprits_ tell her, but because it's the truth. That's not the point. The point is that all my struggles stem from my fear of getting close. I pushed everyone away. Amy tried to break that veil. She was the only one I was close enough to let her try. "

"Well" Penny started back in, " You know she wants to get close to you, and I mean CLOSE to you. Can you handle that? IF not, that's not fair to her either."

"That is a discussion for me and Amy, but suffice to say. I am looking forward to working on problems... with physical relationships, with her. I have been for a while. But I think I want to accelerate it. "

"Woah, slow down there cowboy, I don't think Amy is going to welcome you with open arms and into her bed just because you had some kind of epiphany in Texas…"

"Nice use of epiphany.."

"thanks, jerk."

"That was uncalled for…"

"You're changing the subject! Avoid it all you want, but Amy is going to want some kind of proof that your PHYSICALLY attracted to her. Not just kissing either. That you actually think she is sexy!"

"Not only do I know Amy is Sexy, it is a fact I have been actively working on ignoring for 3 years. I just have turn that part of my brain off that says no."

"Can you do that, Sheldon, that is a pretty big part of your brain."

"I have a big brain and it is not _that _large of part of it. Anyway, I am more worried about being able to _STOP_ thinking about her as sexy. Once the flood gates are open, who knows how I will react."

"You Dog!" Sheldon heard a familiar voice in the background.

"Penny, do you have me on speaker? Is that Leonard?"

"Hell yes I have you on speaker. And yes that's Leonard. Good for you Wolowitz isn't here with that kind of talk, you savage."

"Good lord you people will be the death of me."

The plan was simple. Sheldon would be home in 3 days. 3 days to get Amy to agree to go out with Penny . Easier said than done, Penny thought. Amy hadn't really been a social butter fly of late. Penny had to lie to Amy and get her to the spot Sheldon had picked out. Penny didn't think it was enough, but Sheldon was confident. He knew Amy loved him.

A lot can happen in three days, especially for Amy. Her trip to the gym was a turning point. IT was 2 days since she sent him that message. Nothing. No call, no reply. Good. Makes moving on easier. Now she was getting mad. Every minute she was getting more mad. Her encounter with Kripke weighed on her. Why was she still defending Sheldon? On the bright side, she was getting the attention of men, That was a first.

Truth be told, she loved being able to turn down a man. She had never done that before and it was empowering. Amy didn't need a man to make her complete. She didn't need a Project like Sheldon. She didn't need anyone. Each minute got easier. She wasn't sure if it was the endorphins working or possible her finally letting Sheldon go, but she felt better than she had months. This was a good feeling and she had so few of those lately. What a difference a good cry, and a day could make.

After she showered, she got dressed. " No more Cardigans" in an Indian accent kept haunting her.. FINE! She wears just her skirt and blouse, not tights and No Cardigan. It was hot anyway; San Gabriel Valley is bitch in August. She was just about to leave when she ran into Raj on the way out of the door.

"AMY! Im so glad you listened to your good friend Raj and took up the Banner of No Cardigan!"

"Hey Raj, you're right, of course. Too hot, too constrictive, too conservative. I think I am ready to wear some of those clothes you and Emily talked me into. Speaking of which, Please, please let me pay you back for those. Please Raj." Her pleas fell on deaf ears.

"Nonsense, it was only a couple dressed and some shoes. My pleasure. Emily had so much fun with you that day. I love that way her smile lights up the room. Like the sun hitting the atmosphere… AHHHH…."

"Raj, you're such a romantic! More guys should be like you!" Amy knew exactly which one guy should have been at least…

Raj treaded lightly with his next statement, "Speaking of clueless guys, any word from Sheldon?"

"No, but I have terminated the relationship. He is probably celebrating in Cabo on some damn silly train…" Amy had a lot of bitterness in that sentence that wasn't lost on her audience.

"WOW, really? How are you doing with that?" Raj was worried. He knew how hard it had been for her. He had grown close to Amy over the last 3 months. Leonard was right, she was a lot of fun. But lately, her spark was gone. However, he was starting to see it come back during their short conversation today.

"Dr Amy Farrah Fowler is doing just fine. Honestly Raj, if you would have asked me last night, I was a mess. Today, I don't know, I feel better. I really do."

"Good for you, I am happy for you. You deserve better and I have a feeling you will attract it to you, like a magnet. I must dash, Emily and I are meeting at my place for dinner and I need to get Brie out of the fridge. "

"Bye Raj, thanks so much." With that, Amy walked to her car. She felt like some mood music. Thankfully, her XM radio gave her perfect song. She missed the first half of the song, but caught the rest. She cranked her speakers louder than they had ever gone before and sang along with the cheesy cliche song:

_It took all strength I had not to fall apart  
Kept trying' hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart  
And I spent oh so many nights  
Just feeling sorry for myself, I used to cry  
But now I hold my head up high  
And you see me, somebody new  
I'm not that chained up little girl who's still in love with you  
And so you felt like dropping in  
And just expect me to be free  
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for someone who's loving me…._

As she drove down Colorado Ave, over the bridge, speakers blasting, Amy realized she was feeling much better. What a difference a day can make.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 Getting a little kinky now….

Sheldon loved having a sleeper car. No annoying passengers, not prying eyes. Privacy was important to him, but had so little of it lately. Amtrak train from Galveston to Union station was a long trip. At this point he was in Albuquerque. 18 hours to go. Then he would sleep, and get ready for his Fowler conversion.

He had to "prove he thought she was sexy?!" He mocked Penny words in a snit. What the hell, Penny? What did she know? He knew Amy was beyond sexy.

She had proved that the first time she kissed him. Of course she was drunk, which killed the mood, however, he didn't pull away. That what he thought was so "fascinating". He didn't pull away. Who knows what would have happened if she hadn't ran off to vomit. He danced with her, held her so close. She was a great dancer, almost as good as he was. Her hair, waving in air, as if in time to the music. Then for her to pop that kiss on him. That night, while he laid in bed plotting his revenge on Priya using his brilliant Starfleet academy training, his thoughts wandered to Amy. That kiss…He remembered as he touched his mouth again. That started it all. That night, after he left Amy on the bathroom floor and changed her clock, he wandered home. That night, he lied in bed, unable to get her off his mind. As he touched his lips again, every sensation replayed over and over again. What would have happened? Could he have caught her face before she pulled away, and held her back to finish that kiss. Could he have glided his hands down her face, to her neck and beyond.

Just thinking about it again made him stroke his own chest mirroring the actions he would have liked to do to her. They were only friends then, not boyfriend girlfriend. He had not right to think of her that way, but he couldn't help it. He imagined taking off her striped cardigan, one button at a time while he deepen his kiss. One hand stroking her back, her side, while the other carefully undressing her. Finally, she touched him back, wrapping her arms around his neck, stroking his back lightly with her finger tips. The sensation was too much for him, he grabbed her by the shoulders, throwing her on the couch, frantically ripping at her blouse. SO close now. He imagined ripping off his own shirt while working on his pants. SO close now… He imagined she was shocked, but like the force that he used to finally pull of her shirt, damn so many damn shirts!

Finally, he could see her chest and the black lace bra he hoped was there. His kisses moved now, down her neck, to her chest, his mouth moving her bra as he pulled down the straps. Magically, it came off on its own, reveling her cream white beasts. SO close now, No stopping now. Her look of surprised shyness excited him more. He devoured her, not asking for permission, every inch of her skin was his personal wonderland. He imagined her naked now, under him. Begging him to take her; make her his. He grabbed her legs, pulling them apart, drove straight in to her. He imagined she arched back in pleasure. He mirrored this action on his own now. Each thrust he was replaying in mind. So close, so close now. He imagined each stroke drove her closer to organism. Each stroke, each stroke, Too close now. He rode the wave of pleasure, driving each feeling further in her. OH god Amy, he cried as he finished. His fantasy relived, just as good as the first time he had it.

Just as good as the first night. The same night he decide he couldn't control this. He had lost control of his baser urges. He imagined ravaging her, owning ever part of her, devouring her every organism. He couldn't let that take over, not in real life. He had no control over it. He was lost, scared of his thoughts. Could he have hurt her? Could he have stopped if she wanted him to? He knew what he had to do. Never again would he allow himself to think that way about her. Next day, he offered a "Reboot" to their relationship. He took it back to last time they both remembered it worked. For him, (although he would never tell her) he took it back to before he had fantasies about her. Before he wanted her so bad it was painful. It took everything he had to control. But he did it.

Then there was Stuart, with his Pumpkin Lattes and Dynamite lady comments, mocking him. Stuart had no control either. Lord knows what he would have tried in that theater if Sheldon hadn't had come along.

He took a huge risk asking her to be his girlfriend. As soon as she said yes, a wave of relief fell over him. Not just because the conversation was over, but now he didn't have to worry. He could be with her. But then that feeling came back as he waiting in her apartment for her to return from her date with Stuart. He was sitting on the same couch he had that fantasy. It all came flooding back.

He had already worked on the relationship agreement; that what would save him. Strict control, no funny business! He could have her as a girlfriend and not give in to his base urges. As time went by, it got harder and harder to control his thoughts. He remembered when all she suggested was a simple walk, and he snapped at her that all she thinks about was sex. Talk about displacement.

Sheldon thought back to so many conversations like that one, he snap at her for thinking about sex. The worst night was when she was sick. Rubbing vapor rub on her chest, the bath, oh god not again. He could barely get out of there. The spanking was his little fantasy that he allowed himself; one indulgence, and long as she didn't get TOO excited, he could handle it. He barely handled it. The feeling of her ass on his hand, he could stay like that forever. That vixen! She had poisoned me. It took every ounce of restraint and all his years of Kolinar training to recover from seeing her that Star Trek uniform and those boots. Oh god, those boots.

He worked on it, growing more distant, more withdrawn. He thought he had it beat. Then that train trip and that kiss; out of anger, ending in passion. That was real, not some crazy fantasy where he ravaged her unrepentantly on the couch. Did he like that kiss? Oh god, more than the fantasy he worked so hard to suppress. It was so honest, so real. Best train trip ever.

Now, where are those damn brownies?

Ha! Penny worries that he doesn't find Amy sexy. If Amy only knew. Soon she will.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Amy woke up the next morning, relaxed, refreshed. It was a Saturday, so no need to go the lab. She was on a mission. First thing: a good breakfast. God she was hungry! She made herself an omelet with onions and garlic. No need to worry about her breath. Next she took a shower, had a fabulous time with Gerard, her favorite toothbrush as she thought of ANYONE besides Sheldon. Unfortunately, it was impossible. Next she got dressed in her new outfit that Emily had picked out. Flowered sleeveless blouse, flare away skirt and just for kicks, those Star trek boots she hadn't worn in 2 years. Top the ensemble off with some VERY glossy lip gloss and her hair up in bun. She was more exposed then she was used it, but she wanted to make a change just for her. She wanted to do everything today SHE wanted to do. She made a list of possibilities:

**Go to Zoo and only see the monkeys. No KOALAS!**

**Eat Chinese food without Korean mustard. Scratch that. French bread with Butter. Lots of Butter… **

**Go Dancing**

**Fulfill an ****estrogen- fueled need to page through thick glossy magazines that make her hate her body.**

**Day at spa with Emily and Bernie, to stop the feeling of hating her body.**

**Bath in claw foot tub… Monster be damned. **

**Watch every season of Little House with commentary. Suck it Raiders of the Lost Ark.**

**Play her harp, play it hard…**

**Clean out her fridge of Strawberry QUik and Brownies. **

**Clean out her bathroom of anything item with Talc in it. **

Sounds perfect. Amy called Bernie first. She hadn't spoken to her since the break up girls night.

"Hey Amy, how you doing?" Bernie had spoken that sentence like she was talking to child who lost her puppy. Amy was quick to fix that.

"Great, better than ever! I am SOOOOO ready for spa day!" Amy gleamed from ear to ear.

"Oh my god, I was half expecting to bring you some of my happy pills we have been working on this year. Minor side effects if you don't my a tick…"

Amy sighed, she expected sooner or later Bernie would be pushing the pills. " NO Bernie, no pills needed. I just need to Detox. A complete detox from you know who!"

Bernie voiced dropped 2 octaves, " Thank god! Its about time. I like to ring that son of bitch's neck. 3 months? Really Like you're going to sit around like some lost puppy waiting for his majesty on high to grace us with his all powerful presence. When that son of bitch finally does show his pompous ass up, I will kick him so hard between his legs his grandkids will be sterile." Bernie went on and on… Spouting everything she had been hold back. Amy seemed so fragile. FINALLY she grew a spine and Bernie was never happier…

Amy tried to interrupt. "Bernie?"

"And another thing, what make him think everyone gives a crap about every damn rail experience he had? Like we need to hear every random thought and machination that goes through that head of his, the nerve of that guy…"

"UH, Bernie?" Amy repeated.

"Doesn't get bacon instead of sausage! Throws a fit in a Dennys? Typical self centered, egomaniacal asinine crap he subjects the world to and expects us to be wowed by his intelligence…"

Amy had enough of it. "BERNADETTE!" she screamed!

"OH, sorry, I guess I got carried away… Any way…" Back to her little voice. " Im ready for spa day too. Have you called Emily?"

Emily and Amy hadn't become the best of friends, but they were working on it. There was something off about Emily that scared Amy a little. She was a little too unstable, too quick to jump to shocking story points for the sweet elixir of attention. Raj was smitten though, and Amy loved to see him happy. She felt a kinship with Raj ever since that night at the bar they shared stories. Now, known to them as the "Lonely Off". If Raj liked Emily, Amy would too.

"No, but I will call her now. Should I meet you there?" Amy Didn't mind calling Emily for a spa day for sure.

"Well, if you could get me that would be great! My Car is in the shop and Howard is leaving soon for some errand for his mother."

Amy didn't mind at all driving. She was numb to traffic from having to cart around Sheldon. Yet another thing she didn't have to worry about anymore. " I'll be there in 20 minutes. "

Amy was pumped and had her songs picked out, ready to brave Pasadena traffic. Not too bad for a Saturday, but the day was young. Traffic could change on a dime, with no notice what so ever and for no reason. No one who drives in LA give estimated driving in miles. No one would say, "Oh, I'm 4 miles away". Time was always given. After she got off the 134 east, she realized she was going to be late, Del Amo Blvd. was a parking lot. She used her blue tooth to call Bernie. While paying attention to the on ramp, she didn't notice she accidently called Sheldon instead. His voice mail picked up right away. As soon as she heard his voice she sucked in a quick breath.

She hung up, or so she thought.

Oh damn, no! Amy was kicking herself. She was doing so well! His damn voice. So much intelligence behind the simple words: " _**Hello, this is Dr. Sheldon Cooper's voicemail. Please leave a message and if I am so inclined, I will reply in kind. Good Day**_." So formal. No wonder he hated her message she made using Urban slang. She only wanted to sound tough.

Music, she needed music… What to play? Suddenly, she was taken over with gloom. She thought, one "feel sorry for myself song" wouldn't hurt would it? She quickly started the slow heart wrenching beat.

_Say something, I'm giving up on you  
I'll be the one, if you want me to  
Anywhere I would've followed you  
Say something, I'm giving up on you_

_And I am feeling so small_  
_It was over my head_  
_I know nothing at all_

_And I will stumble and fall_  
_I'm still learning to love_  
_Just starting to crawl_

Amy was suddenly jarred by a loud beeeeeeb and a wave of dread. She turned off the radio and just glared at her phone. Oh no, did she not hang up on his voice mail? Did he hear her "feel sorry for me" song? Oh god no. He'll think she is heartbroken which she is MOST certain not. Should she call back and correct the message? Oh crap!

Just then she pulled up to Bernadette and Howard's apartment. She quickly got out of the car and knocked on their door.

Bernie answered with a huge smile, which slowly disappeared when she saw Amy's face.

"Did that son of Bitch call you? What's wrong?" It was amazing how her voice could go that low and yet so high.

"No, no. I did something stupid. Something so stupid. " Amy felt sick. She didn't know what to do.

"Did you call him!?" Bernadette meant that much more kindly than it came out.

"No, not on purpose…OH crap…Oh crap." Amy was really freaking out. Bernadette brought her in the house and got the whole story. Howard was still there and heard the story too.

Howard jumped in, " If we knew his password we could delete the message. I think Leonard knows his password. Ill text him. Hold on." Howard quickly texted Leonard. IN fact, Leonard did know his password: not too hard to figure out: 3.14159.

Howard got his phone and dialed the voicemail for AT&T. "We have to act fast if we are going to get it. We have to listen to all the messages to get it. Sorry Sheldon! But you deserve it."

Amy was uncomfortable listening to his voicemail, but couldn't turn away.

_**You have 3 messages. **_

_**Message one:**__ HEEEEY COOPER! Kripke here. Met your girl today. Not bad, not bad at all… Oh sowy, I should say, Ex girl. See you lawder, WOSER!" BEEEB._

_**Next message:**__ Hey Sheldon, its Penny. When are we doing that thing Monday with Amy? I have an audition at 400 pm. Let me know. I still have to get her to go. You know I hate lying to her. _

_**Next message: **_

_Say something, I'm giving up on you  
I'll be the one, if you want me to  
Anywhere I would've followed you  
Say something, I'm giving up on you_

_Muffled sounds. _

Amy's heart dropped. Was Sheldon coming back? What was Penny planning? And what **Lie** was Penny going to tell her? She lost her breath, she had to sit and process. At least the message she left was erased.

Or so she thought.

Sheldon was listening tothe message from Penny so he didn't get the call from Amy. It went straight to voice mail. It was everything Sheldon had in him to keep him from throwing the phone off the train after hearing the message from Kripke. He was going to kill him, rip his stupid tongue out of his mouth and choke him with it. He barely heard Penny's message when he heard.

**One new message from, AMY Farrah Fowler.**

As soon as heard her voice, he sucked in a quick breath.

The song was faint, muffled but he could still make out the words:

_Say something, I'm giving up on you_  
_I'll be the one, if you want me to_  
_Anywhere I would've followed you_  
_Say something, I'm giving up on you_

_Muffled sounds_

_**BEEEB!**_

Sheldon's heart dropped in the stomach. The song said everything and nothing at the same time. All he could think of was Amy listening to that song, waiting for his call day after day for 3 months. He finally understood what he had done to her. He finally had a taste of her pain.

Sheldon sucked in another breathe hoping to catch the lump in his throat. He failed.

Tears slowly dropped as he played the Message. What was she trying to say? In cloud of despair, Sheldon found hope. The song said, "Say Something". All he needed was to tell her how he felt and it would be okay! He had glimmer of hope. It should be enough to hold him till Monday. He was finally pulling into Union Station. Home at last. Another song faded into head.

_**Only hate the road when you're missin' home  
Only know you love her when you let her go  
And you let her go**_


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

_Revenge is dish best served cold._ It is very cold in the Spa….

Spa day was supposed to be about Amy doing something for her and her alone. Now she had a new mission: Make Dr. Sheldon Cooper drop to his knees.

Dr Fowler didn't hold back, she got the whole spa treatment: Wax, eyebrows, Hair, color, Wax, Nail, Pedicure, more Wax, Massage, finally, more wax.

Best thing about a spa day was she was able to turn her brain off for a while. Sheldon was brilliant, to be sure, but the group tended to forget, Amy was a genius in her own right. She can keep up Sheldon on most topics and excel in others. The only aspect of their lives Amy couldn't compete was his eidetic memory. It was one of his most sexy features of his brilliant brain. Amy loved to be lost with him when he was floating down a sea of memories, unable to steer his thoughts. Amy would help Sheldon with it as much as she could by directing him down the right stream of thoughts. Amy could guide him, not just because she was as intelligent as he was, but also her background in Neuroscience gave her an edge. She gave him comfortable nudges in the direction of a conversation that helped more than he could ever realize.

Amy was not conscious of it either, but Sheldon did the same for her. Their talks always were a welcome respite for Amy. The sharing of minds, was an "intellectual intercourse". Amy didn't realize it, but her relationship with Sheldon was extremely intimate and unique. If she could see it, she might even call it _mind sex_. Amy missed more than she could voice, it had only been a week since her last conversation with Sheldon, and she was already having withdrawals.

And now, during her Spa Day, she wanted to turn her brain off. Desperately she tried to stop the flood of information from the stimuli around her, her thoughts, memories. She was failing miserably at turning it off. The more she tried, the more she missed Sheldon,her thoughts have been imbued with him. Today, it was time for her to focus on Amy and the more she tried the more she felt alone.

Hours later, Amy was spent, run through the ringer, and even though Emily and Bernadette were there the entire time, Amy felt so alone for some reason.

Emily and Bernadette were thrilled their friend had found a spine. They were both hoping not to have to do a forced spinal transplant. Emily was especially keen to trash Sheldon. She didn't even know him that well, but boy how she reveled in tearing his heart out. Bernadette was not much better. The two ladies felt the need to point out every flaw Sheldon had in grotesque detail. Little did they know they were pushing Amy back in arms. Of course Amy nodded and agreed when the talked about Sheldon selfish , but when attacked grew more vicious, Amy balked. She defended him in her mind. So much for turning off her nonstop Sheldon channel.

Emily also had quite a fun time slamming Penny. Bernadette would grow silent as Emily was slowly picking apart Amy's Bestie. "What was with that message? "What could it mean?" She even suggested that Penny was having an affair with Sheldon, or at least wanted one. Amy was jealous of Penny's closeness with Sheldon; a particularly sensitive sore spot that Emily chose to rip the Band-Aid off as many times as she could. But and affair? She wouldn't let her mind go to that dark place. There was no way.

There was still the mystery of Penny's message. What did she mean? Amy hadn't heard from her yet so her mind was left to carefully go through every scenario she could. Unfortunately for Amy, she was brilliant and creative so her scenarios were running into the dozens, each more elaborate than the last. Amy had to work on Monday, so what could she be planning? She was not surprised Penny would betray her for Sheldon; she had done it before. The Tiara! Penny tricked her by asking her to coming over, and Sheldon was there. Penny KNEW she didn't want to see Sheldon, but she asked her over anyway.

THEN Amy remembered that it was **_Penny_ **who talked Leonard into letting Sheldon go on this "Exposition." Did Penny ever think of Amy, or was just a pawn to keep Sheldon happy?

Amy never felt so alone. She didn't know who to trust or how to feel. She resigned herself to remember the Old Amy and love it, but with an upgrade. A kind of Amy 2.0; Same operating system, different version. God, she really had been spending too much time with guys with all this computer talk.

...

Sheldon expected to feel bliss when he finally saw the 4A on his door again. He was finally home. As he reached 4th floor, still nothing. No bliss.

Leonard couldn't pick him up so Sheldon took a cab. He was getting better and better with dealing with germs. They didnt send him in a panic as much as they once did. True, he still hating being near people, still hated touching strangers, and it still made his skin crawl to think of his dirty environment; however it didn't send him running into a panic as it once did. He didn't even need bus pants anymore, he could ride on the train without them, bus was not much different. He kept Purell in his pocket and would subconsciously touch bottle whenever he felt a twinge upset.

When he first opened the door, the apartment felt so quiet, so empty. He half jokingly expected his action figures to cheer as he opened the door and said, "I'm home!" Everything was where it was when he left, but it still felt different. As he sunk into spot he expected to feel bliss again like he did when re turned from the Arctic, but nothing. It was cold, and uninviting. He checked this cushion, to make sure Wolowitz didn't sit his naked butt on it again. Nothing.

He looked to the spot right, HER spot. Maybe that was better. Sheldon rose and sat in the middle of couch. He imagined her sitting there, looking at him with green eyes. A flood of memories now, cascading from his thoughts. Sheldon cant process them fast enough. Every dinner, every movie, every game they played. Counterfactuals, the first time, and the last time. She sat there as his mother told him they weren't suited to be together. Ridiculous he thought. Amy was more suited to him than anyone. Amy sat here when they watched Howard's launch. He grabbed her hand, craving human contact for some reason. He knew she would help him keep the emotions from over flowing. God, if he had her hand now, he could stop the memories.

Nothing would stop the flow of memories. Valentine's day, when he made her his personal contact for work. The hug she gave, so genuine, so much love. Now he is seeing her help him catalog the items he used to discover one of the biggest mistake s of his profession career. Blue Marker indeed. Now the memories were coming so fast they were flashes. Just flashes of her face, her hair, her eyes, her laugh. He couldn't turn his brain off. More images of her lips, her smile. God he could almost hear her laugh. He covered his ears, rocked his head, but they kept coming. He had to get out of that spot.

Sheldon shot up like rocket and caught his breathe. Maybe his bed would give him some peace. He slowly wandered down the hall, turn right straight to his bedroom. Everything was the same: His comics, his bedding, his D&D dice. Oh god, the game! She was so surprised when he suggested continuing the D& D love spell that was cast on their characters. If Sheldon was being truthful, he was following a script. He had already had that fantasy before the love spell was cast, only it wasn't their characters, it was them. Yet, another fantasy that got away from him.

"_Are we ever going to have an intimate relationship_? " The words hung on the air. Sheldon could swear they were still there. He thought what the had was extremely intimate. Never was he able to share his mind with someone before. She could understand him, his thoughts, his motivations, better than anyone. Her words caressed his soul, kissed his mind. God, when they were together, it was like a blend of excitement, anticipation and contentment. For him, it was as intimate he had ever been with anyone, but he knew she meant physically intimate. It was true, he never thought about being physically intimate with anyone before Amy. She was proving to be his exception for everything. There were countless lost chances for him to prove his love for her and rush of disappointments from her crushed him to his core. He needed her, and wanted her more than ever. Her friendship kept him strong, her love kept him wanted and her absence was slowly killing him.

Sheldon curled up in ball on his bed, hugging his legs to his chest. If tomorrow comes and she doesn't take him back, he will truly be broken. Right now, his eyes were heavy from the flood of emotions. He only needs five minutes to close his eyes. Just five…He was out in two.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Penny's perspective.

Penny had a mission. She had to get Sheldon and Amy back together. At first, leaving Amy and the gang like that seemed like a good idea for Sheldon. He needed to build confidence, gain independence. However, as the weeks grew on, he seemed like the same old Sheldon. He learned nothing. They Penny saw the collateral damage Sheldon had caused every time she looked in Amy's face. She was so mad at Sheldon, he could have strangled him. Sheldon's absence was slowly chipping away at her soul, day by day. On the days he graced her with presence, it was more like sledge hammer to her heart. The worse part, he didn't seem to care. Heartless to be sure but Penny never thought he was cruel.

It killed Penny to see it, but she still keep thinking, "he will come back better, he will be stronger, for her. He needs to grow up and put some big boy pants on. He can only do that on his own." Boy was Penny ever wrong. Not only was Sheldon not evolving, he devolving. He was becoming more crass, more rude each week he was gone. By end of the last few weeks, it was obvious, the experiment failed. Sheldon wasn't going to grow up and suddenly appreciate Amy. No, in fact, he was destroying her. What was a veiled attempt to help her, turned out to be killing her slowly. No more! Penny said. If Sheldon wants to be selfish jerk, then screw him.

Amy couldn't wait for him pull his head out of ass. Amy needed help now. Sheldon just need a push, over a cliff. If he lost Amy, maybe he would pull his head out of his ass enough to realize Amy was made for him. She helped Amy write the message that cut her off. Penny wanted Amy to do it for herself, but Amy did it for him. Amy reason was that it was what Sheldon wanted, and she should help him. Yet again, Amy was proving she loved Sheldon unconditionally.

Penny was always a little jealous of Amy's unconditional love for Sheldon. Penny had never felt that, not even for Leonard. Amy put Sheldon first, always. Was that such a bad thing? Could Penny do that with Leonard if the time came? Could she really lose herself that much in one person's happiness? If she was being honest, Penny would say no. But, Penny wasn't being honest today.

She called Amy late Sunday. Amy had just gotten back from her spa day with Bernadette and Emily. Penny wished she could have gone, but a Spa day on Green Street would have set her back hundreds. Leonard's would have paid for it, of course, if she asked, but she couldn't. He had been paying her rent, and his portion of Sheldon's apartment. It was too much to ask, even for Penny.

Amy answered after the 3rd ring. Her voice sounded cold, but Amy was such an emotional roller coaster lately, who knew.

" Hey Amy's how was Spa Day?"

"Enlightening." Amy was cold and distant.

" Well I am sorry I missed it. Maybe if this audition I have on Monday goes through, I could go next time?"

"Perhaps, I am not sure if I will be going back anytime soon. Anyway what did you call about?" Amy flat reply didn't register on Penny.

"Well, l have this part I want to audition for, but I need to practice running some lines. The scene is outside on Colorado blvd. I was wondering if you could help me run the lines? I could pick you up after work and take you to where the location. May agent found out where they are going to film it, so I can get a leg up on the competition… Whaddya Say?"

"When?" Amy was clip in her response.

"Oh, ah, tomorrow after work. I could pick you up at 530?

"Isn't that AFTER your audition, isn't it at 400 pm?" Amy snapped back.

"Well no, that a different audition. Did I tell you about that? Im so excited for that one!"

"Hm, Penny… have you heard from Sheldon?" Amy was giving her friend a way out, but Penny couldn't see it.

"Oh no..Hmmm… Have you?" Penny asked meekly.

Amy declared "No, not a word." Finally some honesty.

"Count your blessing." Penney replied flippantly.

Silence…

"As to your request: I think its fine, I guess… I am curious how you got two auditions in a week when you haven't had so much a whiff of a job for 3 months. Never the less, I know PERSONALLY, you are a great actress. I would be happy to meet you. See you tomorrow." And with that, Amy hung up.

"Wow", Penny thought out loud," That was weird!"

Amy hung up the phone. Penny's words stayed with her like Daggers. Amy was so petrified with anger she couldn't move from her spot at her desk. Penny flat out lied to her face… Good Actress indeed.

"Count your blessings" The words hurt more than Penny could ever know. One of Amy's self pity songs flashed in mind. She reached over to her Ipod on the desk and cranked the song as loud as she could. Amy always loved it when a singer's voice quaked and broke with emotion. Pink's Song, "Who knew" came to mind. She howled with lyrics not knowing if she crying for losing her friendship with Penny or losing Sheldon. IT was so mixed entwined.

**Remember when we were such fools  
And so convinced and just too cool  
Oh no  
No no**

**I wish I could touch you again  
I wish I could still call you friend  
I'd give anything**

**When someone said count your blessings now  
'fore they're long gone  
I guess I just didn't know how  
I was all wrong  
They knew better  
Still you said forever  
And ever  
Who knew**

**Yeah yeah**  
**I'll keep you locked in my head**  
**Until we meet again**  
**Until we**  
**Until we meet again**  
**And I won't forget you my friend**  
**What happened**

**If someone said three years from now**  
**You'd be long gone**  
**I'd stand up and punch them out**  
**Cause they're all wrong and**  
**That last kiss**  
**I'll cherish**  
**Until we meet again**  
**And time makes**  
**It harder**  
**I wish I could remember**  
**But I keep**  
**Your memory**  
**You visit me in my sleep**

Sleep! that is what Amy needed, now more than anything. She laid on her bed, Her legs curled up tight rocking herself to sleep as the song was left on repeat. "**You visit me in my sleep" **echoing in her head**. **

Amy's Dreamy nightmare

Amy's walking through a train, frantically checking every seat. All the passengers have their head covered with cloth. Amy's running now. Flipping them all over, check each one. Every face she uncovers is more disfigured than the last. Still she cant stop, running.

She reaches a new car, these cars are different, they have little rooms on one side. It takes all her strength, but she opens the door. She sees Bernadette, her face has a far away look. On her lap, she has doll. As Amy looks closer, the dolls starts to move and wave its hands. Bernadette is moving the dolls arms now, back and forth. Its HOWARD! As a doll. His face is like a clown with a permanent smile etched in make up. As Amy backs away, they being to sing together and eerie child tune.

Amy runs again to next Car. This time the door is already open. It was Penny and Leonard. They are dancing out of sync. Each time one steps, the other steps on their toes. They don't look at each other, instead Penny is looking up and Leonard's is looking down. When they twirl, Amy sees Penn y as a mask on. Under it Amy can see her face is scared and disfigured. Leonard is clueless to this and just keeps his hold on her, stepping on her toes with every fourth beat. Amy quickly leaves as Penny fixes her eyes on her, reaching to take off her mask.

Amy is frantic now, she needs to find something, but she doesn't know what. Next door she opens. Its Raj and Emily. Emily is wearing her scrubs hold forceps and a scalpel. Raj, is laying on his back naked. His chest cavity is cut open at least 20 inches across. Raj is holding part of his bowels and abdomen for Emily. Raj calls out to Amy" Come in Join us!" Amy screams as Emily cuts him again.

Screaming now , Amy is running: she is frantic. Her voice is breaking; she is clawing at the next door. Suddenly, a door opens behind her, and long arms and hands hold her. At first she fights them, but as time goes on, she feels he hands are holding her tight and close to warm chest. She cant see who it is. The mystery hands deepen the hold on her, wrapping her in warmth. She feels the tension leave her. She cant see his face, but his breath is on her neck. Electric shocks of pleasure run down her spine.

She is wearing robe like the one she had on at the Spa. Under it, she knows she's completely naked. That breath has turned to a kiss, slowly, softy kissing her neck as she is rock by his arms. The hands are looser now; Running down the sides of her body, caressing her curves and moving back to her shoulders. Now, she is feeling the hands move around her front, playing with the tie of her robe. The kisses on her neck are more intense now, more driven. She feels paralyzed by pleasure, not wanting to move, fearing it would stop. All she sees is a misty reflection in the steel door of the train. Amy feels that she is slowly being moved towards the wall. Her robe is open now, and the hands are caressing her stomach, moving up her sides, glancing her breasts on the way to her shoulders. Suddenly, the robe is pulled off her shoulders and falls to floor.

The breath is deeper now, she make out a deep moan as it drink in her form. Her skin is velvet, and the stranger touching ever inch of her now. Nothing is forbidden. His hands grab her shoulders and whisk her around then quickly pull her into a hug so she can see his face. He is so much taller than she is, she cant lift her head to see him. She should be in fear, but far from it. He feels like home, like he's done this with her a dozen, a hundred times, but each time it feels new to her. His hands move over her face, closing her eyes before cradling the sides of her face and pulling her into the deepest kiss she had ever had. She has no fear now, she wraps her arms around him stroking his back down his thin sides. He grabs her now. Slowly lifting her up by her hips. She surrenders to his will, arching her back, letting him kiss her chest, then stomach. He moves down to her hips then back up to her breasts. She is about ready to explode with pleasure. He grabs onto her leg and pushes her up against the wall carefully balancing her weight. He kisses her, softly at first, then more intense and he slowly enters her, mirroring the kiss with his first thrust. Amy is quaking with pleasure as the stranger slowly, but intensely makes love to her. Each rhythmic thrust they make is matches perfectly ; there are no mistakes. They fit together like missing pieces of cup. Each thrust drives Amy closer to ecstasy. Finally she pulls herself into his embrace, pulls his at black hair and quivers with organism. She has never felt so wanted, so needed. It was the perfect blend of raw pleasure and unspoken love. As the two lovers slide down the wall of the train, the stranger holds her, rocking her back forth, stroking her hair. All she can make out of this perfect stranger as he rocks her to sleep is: a red cotton shirt, the smell of talc and soft humming. Perfection.

The blasting alarm cut through the serenity of her sleep. 645 am, really? So soon. All she wanted to do was go back to sleep, cradled in his arms… Amy bolted up, shaken by her memory. Red Shirt, Talc… Oh crap, it was Sheldon, who else could it be? She slammed her pillow in frustration. Why the hell couldn't she get over him? Dreaming of him was not going to help her case tonight when she knew she had to face him. She had to be strong! Maybe a trip to tread mill before work would work? She gathered her clothes for work, make up, shoes and decided to shower at Cal Tech. She took a second bag housing her outfit that had been picked out for weeks. Shopping with Raj and Emily, she already had selected the perfect dress for the occasion: It was the "what to wear when you want your ex boyfriend to drop to his knees in struggling for breath, and regret the day he left" Dress, Of Course! Her armor. Sheldon doesn't want a physical relationship? Fine! but she was going to show him what he was missing. It was a transparently manipulative ploy, but she needed all the help she could muster.


	17. Chapter 17

**Thanks**** to everyone for the reviews and the feed back. Frankly, this is the first story I've ever written, so there are going to be a lot of mistakes. I am still getting used to Fanfic site as well.. (only been a member since Beginning of May. I would love to have feedback. **

**T****his story is still evolving, morphing as I write it. In this chapter there is a part I pulled from Wikipedia. I hope that is okay. I thought Sheldon would have memorized something similar, so instead of putting it in my words, I quote it. It has to do with the title of the story. Thanks for you time and reviews.**

Chapter 17

Amy's day

"Dr. Fowlers, what a pleaware to see you again. " Kripke voice shattered Amy's concentration. She had hoped against hope he wouldn't see her come to the gym. She used the side door, and kept a lookout when she walked down the hall to the door. No such luck though; there he was, glaring at her.

Kripke had been camped out since the last time he saw Amy Farrah Fowler. He had hoped to catch her again, work his magic. He loved a challenge, and Dr Fowler was the biggest challenge yet. Sexy, smart, and if he land her?: Gloating rights over her loser ex boyfriend Cooper.

Amy just grunted. She was not in the mood. Not today. She had save her strength for the battle ahead.

Kripke never knew how to take a hint, least of all with women. "Soooo. Amy… How."

"Dr Fowler" she barked. Secretly it gave her such a giggle to hear him call her, "Dr Flower" He would never be able to say it correctly…

"Oh sure, Dr Folwer… So, I was wondering… How would you wike to accompany me to wunch today?"

" You're a physicist, correct Dr Kripke?"

You are corwect, my wovly Wady!"

"Can you tell me how small a quark is? Because that is the chance you have."

"Funny thing about quarks, my wovly Wady, there are Up quark and down quarks" With each description he used his body to motion the words. "There are Stranwge Quarks and my personal favorites:" Now Kriplke moved dangerously close to Amy, licking his lips eyeing her up and down , " Bottom and Top!"

Amy didn't miss a beat, "Actually, my favorites are charm quarks." She jumped off the treadmill, drying the sides of her face. " You know Charm, oh right how could you? You have none, good day sir." And with that, the beautiful creature that was "Dr. Flowers" left the room.

Amy went straight to her lab. Finally, she could work. The lab was her solace, he escape.

The rest of Amy day she spent practicing her best poker face on her least favorite Rhesus monkey. This guy was biter and had shifty eyes to boot. He was crafty… Too crafty… If she could stare him down and not flinch, Dr Sheldon Cooper would be child's play. At 430 Amy headed to the lady's room. She put on her dress, her so called "CFM" Heels and curled her hair. She never asked Emily what CFM meant, but hazarded to guess it meant "Crafted For Masochism". The makeup was the hardest. How does she put just enough to get noticed but not to look like a whore, as her mother would say. She wishes Penny would help her. She was always good at makeup. She missed her friend. She needed someone day...

_Shake it off Fowler, game face remember._

With a large sigh, Amy tried to breathe out all her apprehensions. She remembered the Disney make over as Snow white. That make up look great, she would try and recreate that look. Amy sighed, Sheldon didn't even notice her that day, why would he now? It was all she could think of, so she figured what the hell. After about 15 minutes, she stared at herself in the mirror. She felt she was wearing a costume, and maybe she was. She playing pretend tonight. Pretend she had a Best Friend, pretend to be not to care, pretend she had the stones to let Sheldon go. She knew he was going to bring his A game tonight. He fought dirty… She could too. These shoes really hurt though... She couldn't wait to take them off.

One thing she didn't have to pretend, was looking sexy if she did say so herself. If there was any doubt in her mind it was dashed when she made the long walk from the ladies room to her car. It was running a slalom. Bert was there, along with half the chemistry department, most of biology, President Seibert and finally at the end: Kripke. Amy thought practice made perfect. She held her breath as she first walked out. Slowly, she released a sigh and started the trek. Every move, every glance, she controlled. Perfection in form. She owned her gait, she owned her walk. Every step she crafted. As she stepped out of the corridor, she knew she would be watched. She was beauty, walking: the perfect mix between alluring body and keen intellect. Her new glasses said, I am smart, dont mess with me. Not one word from the gawkers. Even Kripke, the last obstacle, was silent, mouth dropped open like a fish. As she glided past by him, she did a move she once tried on Sheldon during their Raiders of the Lost Ark viewing. Amy reached up and with her palm, she closed his mouth as she, whispered, "here let me help you with that." Phase one complete.

Dr Sheldon Cooper had a plan, he always had a plan. It was meticulously planned, simple to execute, but effective. Sweep Amy off her feet, get her back, and sign a new Relationship agreement. Reboot . Done.

Penny played her part adequately, so far. But there was trouble. Amy was going to bring her own car here. She might suspect something if Penny gives her the exact address of the coffee shop. Think Cooper! Oh, he had it. He texted Penny to tell Amy to meet her around the corner at a different coffee shop. Then walk here. The movie wanted "action shots with real crowds." Perfect.

**Amy's phase two: Text Penny. **

A-Penny, I will meet you at the location. I am going straight from work. What is the address?

P- I thought I was going to pick you up?

A- Change of plans, had to work late. Where should we meet or do you want to do it another night?

That's right, Penny Squirm. It was a whole 10 minutes before she answered. She knew Penny was waiting for Sheldon to text her back with her new cover story.

P- No tonight is great. Meet me at the corner of S. Lake and Colorado.

S. Lake and Colorado, the daily grind.

Why was that coffee shop and that the corner so familiar? Of course! It was the one Amy almost went to instead of the agreed upon meeting place 4 years ago when she met Sheldon. Oh you clever boy. Using our first meeting against me. I have you now. Point Fowler. Now on to Phase 3.

Sheldon waited with arms crossed in blissful ignorance. The true test will be when he sees Amy Farrah Fowler in the doorway of the coffee shop. He had hoped she might wear the same cardigan she had on the first time they met. No matter, she was perfect whatever she wore. Sheldon would be off to the side, waiting. Penny is supposed to run through lines outside the coffee shop, then txt him when she was entering the store. Hopefully Amy won't recognize it as the same Coffee shop they met four years ago. She will come in and proceed to order the coffee that Penny wanted. Sheldon will come up behind her, as she did so long ago.

"**_ Amy Farrah Fowler, I am Sheldon Cooper. May I buy you a beverage?"_** Hopefully she will get the hint, and order _tepid water_. He would smirk and give her his best come hither eyes. Emotion will overtake her and she will reach to hug him. This is part he has practiced in his mind. He cannot flinch, not a centimeter. He will return her embrace. After this public display is dispensed with, he would lead her by the hand to a table.

First, he will be coy, asking her if she knows about Planck's constant. Of course she would, but she will let him explain: The Planck constant is named after Max Planck. Planck discovered that physicalaction could not take on any indiscriminate value. Instead, the action must be some multiple of a very small quantity (later to be named the "quantum of action" and now called Planck constant). This inherent granularity is counterintuitive in the everyday world, where it is possible to "make things a little bit hotter" or "move things a little bit faster". This is because the quanta of action are very, very small in comparison to everyday macroscopic human experience. Hence, the granularity of nature appears smooth to us.

Here's the kicker: Sheldon will then tell her that she is measure of all things that have changed in him. She is the measure of his emotions, even on the smallest scale. Even if others can see it, she has changed him at the quantum level Amy is his base unit and he wants all things in his life and is There is nothing more romantic than science to woo Amy Farrah Fowler.

He will explain how he discovered she is his constant, in every atom in his being. He will tell her he cannot live without her, how he needs her like he needs the air. She will be cautious, but with each word, closer to loving him again. To top it off, he will show her the relationship agreement with the added sections on intimacy and such other hippy stuff so she knows he is serious. The final nail will be that he will offer to reboot the relationship to point it both worked for them, the days before he left when he fell asleep with her on Skype. After the first time Amy kissed him drunk after a girls night, he offered that to give himself back some control. Amy liked it back then, she will remember how well it worked, then and blam!, she was his again. It was full proof.

To prove everything like Penny said to do, he will take her in arms, one hand on her face and one on her hip and bring her into a kiss. Sheldon figured at least 15 seconds should do it. No reason to drag it out in public. He would save that for later when she takes him back to apartment and they snuggle on the couch; he in his spot, her in hers next to him: His happiest place in the world. It all made sense to Sheldon, until he heard the bell on the door of the shop and looked up. What in the world? Was that Amy?


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

The first thing he noticed was her hair. The coffee shop AC had blown it back as she strutted in the door. Less than a second seemed to pass and she was through the door, eyes fixed on him. Were those new glasses? She was wearing a lot of makeup, but still beautiful. No surprise "hello Amy Farrah Fowler for Sheldon" Not that he could get words out, he barely recognized her.

Her eyes! He couldn't break away, but he couldn't help it. Her dress was made for her figure. It was a deep green halter dress, though Sheldon didn't know the name of it, he knew what it did: It showed off her perfect form. It had a deep v neck. Her arms were exposed and so was her neck and part of her clavicle. Her perfect breasts made the dress smooth as it outlined her curves, but has it reached her waist, it hugged every curve she had. As she walked, it flared out, revealing her tone legs. It reminded Sheldon of Marilyn Monroe's white dress, but Amy look so much more sophisticated in it. Smart and Sexy at the same time. Stunning. Sheldon thanked his stars she had not yet turned around. As good as looked in front, her back was perfection. She had on high heels. He was surprised she could walk so well in them. They gave her another 3 inches of height, though she didn't need it. By the time she reached his chair, she was practically on top of him. He couldn't think to stand to greet her. Before he knew it, she sat across from him. Legs crossed, and hair flipped. She started her first volley. Point Fowler.

"Well Sheldon, I guess I should be surprised to find you here, there are no train stations nearby."

Amy had such bitterness in her voice, she hadn't expected that. She was shocked at her own anger.

"Ah… hello Amm aa, How?"

Sheldon's mind was racing. Did Penny text him and he missed it? Why is she dressed like that. She looked nice, but he lamented she didn't' look like she did the last time he saw her. She was gorgeous though, no doubt.

" Oh dear, Dr Cooper, are you playing "surprised" to see me, I thought this was all planned."

"How did you, what? No I just wanted to see you." After he had eyed her up and down at least twice, he began again, " Yes, well Amy, I am very happy to see you, you have no idea…."

_Focus Sheldon. Eyes up._ God, he wanted to grab her around that small waist and bring her to his lips.

"Frankly, Sheldon, slow down, I'm not there yet…" She was lying. She was happy to see him. It was everything in her core to not reach out and touch him. She knew he would hate it and she would hate herself for doing it. She pulled her hand back so not to be tempted.

"Oh, well, um, yes, well. I wanted to talk to you talk to you about your message. I did receive it, but I wanted to give you a chance, I mean me… Me a chance to…. Change your mind.."

"Change?! Wasn't that what you were running from in May?" Amy had him now, throwing the reason for his leaving back in his face. The way she said "change" reminded her of Emily's mocking tone when she talked about Sheldon.

"Amy, I don't understand any of this. We talked during my absence, we were fine. You…" She cut him off.

"No, Sheldon, you were fine. Frankly if you must know, I was wreck. I am better now. I realized I needed to move on. We both needed that." She folded her arms over her chest. She was cold, stupid AC in this shop. She missed her sweater.

Sheldon was reeling with anger, "Who are you to decide what I NEED? I need **you**, that's all." Feeling more confident now, he starts his speech. " Do you know about Planck's Constant? Well you see…

" Yes yes yes, Planck constant, any 2nd year physics major knows that. What does that have to do with anything? If you want to talk physics, how about Newton's third law?"

His heart sank, " For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." Point Fowler.

" Correct, good Dr Cooper, you didn't forget the basics on your sojourn. Now, tell me Dr. what can we learn if we apply that Law to our current situation?"

"Look Amy, I know I messed up, you're upset, and angry. But if you just give me some time. I have changed over the summer, I learned a lot in the last week. Your suggestion to visit Meamaw was the catalyst for my reaction."

" I am still reeling from your first reaction, Sheldon. Your reaction to Leonard and Penny moving in together. Your reaction to my suggesting that we move in together. YOUR reaction to my l…" She couldn't finish. She was breaking now… She was going to lose it. Sheldon saw weakness, and struck:

" Amy, your love is the only thing that has been a constant for me. I need it Amy, I need this relationship. I am thinking of us, I am thinking of you. I love you." He let his declaration hang in the air. Point Cooper for sure. Then again, her look was not one he expected. She looked enraged.

_"Now he says he loves me?"_ she thought. Now?! After all this time, after all they had been through, every chance he has had, he has ran away. She didn't believe him. Sheldon was being manipulative, saying the words she longed to hear just to get her back, just so he wouldn't lose. He was fighting dirty…

Amy steeled herself for her next words. She looked down, hands holding on the side of the table. Without raising her head, she glared at him through her brow. " So lets review: In May, you leave, based on normal changes in your life, one of which was my suggestion we live together. Which, by the way, you took _such_ offense, you hit the rails. Months go by, you discover nothing about yourself, about us, about anything. Do you? Nor do you ever think how your leaving affected our relationship or me for that matter. Last week, you treated me as if I were, dare I say, **_Repellent_**, as you so love to say."

She caught her breath, looked up to face him, head on." I am thinking of this relationship, I am! Not you. I am thinking of you. You wanted to me leave you alone, I did. I was thinking about what you wanted, and what you needed. It more than I can say you EVER thought for me. Now, today, you want me because of you so called epiphany? I don't get it. What do you want?"

Sheldon had no idea, not a clue, no idea how much her hurt her. Amy's eyes were glossy now, holding back tears he knew he caused. This is the guilt he was trying to avoid. This.. This feeling. This was why he was so distant during the last conversation. He wasn't repelled from her, but his own guilt. He had to fix this, he had to erase the pain for her. How could she have hid this pain he sees now? He couldn't have done it. She hid it for him. She stuffed her feeling down for him. God, she really did love him.

"I want a reboot of our relationship again, to the last point where we know it worked…." He waited for his idea to take route in her head. He had to calm her down. She was so angry and had every right to be. He had to fix his mistake. He had to take that pain away.

Sheldon continued." I want to reinstate the relationship agreement with provisions for intimacy and physical contact."

"Why on earth would even suggest that? You don't want that."

"Because you do. And I want you. Ergo, I want a physical relationship. Simple."

"So simple, huh." Amy was miles away. Her voice barely a whisper.

"First though, I want to reboot our relationship to the week before I left. Remember how we feel asleep while Skyping each other? I thought that would be a good place to start again." Point Cooper, or so he thought.

"So you want to forget that the last 3 months ever happened, and reboot to a time before you ran away? Really Sheldon, that's your idea?"

"Precisely, we can move on with our relationship as before, with the express understand that all forms of physical contact are strictly _**on**_ the table. " Sheldon sat back arms folded over his chest. This was his point for sure.

Amy was at a loss as to how he could learn so much yet understood so little. It was a hopeless argument. She was tired of fighting for every thread of hope.

"I am going to do you one last favor Dr Sheldon Cooper. I am going to spell out exactly what is wrong with your proposal. Pay attention, you might learn something that you should have over the summer.

Amy softened a little as she explained. She didn't want to hurt Sheldon, but he needed to hear this:

"The last 3 months were hell for me and I will not sweep them away so you can avoid guilt or shame or whatever is roaming around that big bulbous brain of yours. Secondly, your Physical contact amendment is nothing more than some kind of carrot and stick instinctive program to get me to stay. I don't need your charity. I can get my "ridiculous" need for physical contact from some other source. No need to pretty your little head over it. Lastly, the relationship ended because you needed it, not as some kind rouse to get you back. I honestly think I am not helping you. I think of it as a kindness on my part to end it before you get distracted again and I take my frustrations out on you. That is the lesson I learned over the summer. Class is dismissed."

Sheldon was gobsmacked. Why would she want to remember the pain of the summer, why would she not want to be together? And what the hell did she mean she would get her "need for physical contact from some other source?! What source?!

Amy sat back, smiling a forced smile. "Now, I have my own suggestion: We do a reboot, as you suggest, but not to the beginning of summer, or before we kissed on the train, or even before we danced. This coffee shop gave me the idea. I suggest we have a reboot to the minute after we said hello.

"But how can we do that and you still be my girlfriend."

Amy was on her feet now, purse in hand. She turned to leave and lean over her shoulder and coldly stated looking him directly in his clueless blue eyes:

"Yes, I am a girl, and yes I am your friend, but no, I am not your girlfriend…" and with that she walked out the door.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

_A ray of hope…_

As soon as Amy left the coffee shop, she saw Penny walking up hurriedly. Penny stopped dead in her tracks, unable to believe what she saw. What, was that Amy? What was she doing here? Did she talk to Sheldon? She didn't get a chance to ask one question…

Amy strutted up to her, glaring her voice shaking, " Well Penny, thanks for head up and trying to get Sheldon to ambush me. It didn't work, by the way…. Oh." Her voice was cracking now. . .

"and Penny, I know you're a good actress, you've been pretending to be my friend for years…" With that Amy continued on to her car.

Penny was shocked. _What in the hell just happened? Where was Sheldon?_ She ran to shop to run smack into Sheldon who was rushing out the door.

"What the hell Sheldon, what happened? Did you talk?"

"No time, we have to go. Where's your car?"

"Its right here, what the hell Sheldon, where are you going, come back!"

"Hurry up Penny, we have to catch her..."

With that Penny ran to the door jumped in and started the car, Sheldon was buckling in while she was pulling away. "Where are we going, Sheldon. She could be anywhere."

"To her apartment… I have to talk to her, she is upset."

"Ah, yeah, you freak, she is upset with you! What the hell did you say?"

"I didn't have the chance to say much. She did most of the talking. She wants to end the relationship, and restart from the day we met at the coffee shop."

"SO what makes you think she still wants to talk to you? Are you nuts?" He has truly lost it, Penny thought. She had never seen Amy so mad…

"Now, Penny, you know my mother had me tested…No I am not nuts. She could have said we restart to day _BEFORE_ we met. Or even the years before… But no.. She left it open. We are still friends… And right now, I am going to be the BEST friend she ever had. She is upset, and I am going to help her. Whether she wants me to or not." Sheldon's hands were bracing the dash, "NOW WATCH THE ROAD!"

…

Amy couldn't drive. She just sat in her car and stared at the dash lights blinking. She was numb for the torrid of emotions that had come out of her in the last 30 minutes.

Finally, after about 15 minutes she started the car. The drive will do her some good. No music, no emotions, no distractions. She kept running the scene over and over in her head.

His hands, god she missed his hands… The way he held the cup, cradling it like a baby. Before the breakup, before he grew distant, Amy fantasized about how they would meet again. She thought when she saw him in person after his long absence he would at least let her hold his hand. But that was fantasy meeting and could never happen. Maybe in an alternate universe he was close to her? In this universe, he just needed to have her, not want her.

It was all she could do not to look in his eyes. She saw his confusion, his utter lack of experience with human interaction and understanding. He was a blank as the monkey in her lab. How could she have expected him to understand, hopefully he did now. Now he can go on his way, focus on science. She wished she could, but her work was stalled. She need to refocus. Maybe she should hit the rails, leave everyone behind and be a complete selfish jerk. Worked for Dr Cooper.

She didn't recognize herself. She was so angry at him it warmed her face with rage. Her stomach was sick, her feet were KILLING her and she could feel her pulse in her eyes. She had to get home, take a bath, and throw out these stupid heels. The dress was one thing, but god these damn shoes!

She checked herself in the mirror, so much for her armor. She couldn't wait to take off her war paint. She was too upset to eat, but she knew she need to. If only she could talk to someone…

Penny wasn't her friend, she couldn't talk to her. Bernadette? Maybe but she was mad at Sheldon it would just a flue to the fire. Emily? Amy didn't trust her. Raj? Too close to Emily. No one… SHe'd been upset over the summer to make new friends. She had to change that..

She turned the key in the door, and walked in. Finally, she was home. She heard running water… Could the neighbor's bath be leaking_? OH great, this is all she needed! _

She dropped her purse on the chair and headed to the bathroom. Suddenly she was stopped dead in her tracks, unable to process what she saw in front of her: Sheldon was there. Now it was her turn to have her mouth wide open. Before she could speak, he started…

"Amy, please don't be alarmed. I am just here to you a bath and make you some dinner. You shouldn't be alone right now."

" Are you crazy? Don't answer that. Of course you are! What in the hell are you doing in my apartment? What makes you think I want to see YOU?"

"Amy, you may not want to see me, but you need a friend. I am your friend, am I not? You stated as much not less than 30 minutes ago? We really need to work on your mental recall abilities."

"I don't need YOU! This is crazy. You break in my house and act like nothing has happened? Have you snapped? You haven't lost _your_ memory have you? WE JUST BROKE UP!" Amy was exasperated now. Sheldon was on the losing side of crazy with this move.

"Here is some tea. Please sit down. Take off those shoes. "

Damn Sheldon, Amy thought, he was right. She hated to admit it, but god, she need to sit down and take off those shoes.

Amy sat on the couch, kicked off the shoes. Aaahhh…. Now she could think… She was going have to spell this out for him, yet again…

"Sheldon…" She started calmly…. " You are no longer my boyfriend. You don't have a contractual obligation to take care of me. You just want to act like nothing has happened. I am fine, I just need some time to _myself_. I don't need you, and I don't need help."

"Amy, please. I am not here as you ex boyfriend. I know you don't want me here. I know you don't need _me_, but you need someone. I know that in my core. So, I am here to help you. Just you, Amy, not me. "

Amy was spent. She didn't care anymore. She just wanted him to leave her alone.

"Amy, please just go get a bath. You can yell at me later." Sheldon got up to go to the Kitchen.

Amy didn't want to argue, she walked slowly back to room. He was right… _Jerk_… She just needed a bath. She slammed the door and started to get undressed. Her bath was almost done. It was a perfect temperature, just like when he took care of her when she was sick. Her robe and nightgown were already on her bed. There was a glass of wine poured, waiting for her on the side of the tub. It would have been perfect if only _SHELDON_ wasn't the one who did it.

Amy sunk in the tub and let the her naked body disappear in a sea of bubbles. _Damnit_, she did feel better. She grabbed the wine, begrudgingly, and took a sip. It was perfect too. _Jerk_…

It felt so good to soak her feet and finally wash off the war paint. August was hot in California, but especially in the valleys. She finally felt clean. She washed her hair and rinsed her body. She could smell something from the kitchen. Oh, god is he still here? What could he be playing at? No matter, Amy threw on her nightgown and robe. Time to face the music. She had to get him out.

She opened the door slowly, hoping again hope he was gone. No such luck. He was still in the kitchen cutting a sandwich. _Since when could he cook? _She sat that the bar and glared at him_. _

Sheldon was unphased. He smiled at her and handed her the sandwich. "Here you go. I wasn't sure what you were hungry for, but I figured comfort food might be in order. It's a bacon grilled cheese with tomatoes. Do you feel better after your bath?"

"No." She lied.

"Well, you should eat. I bet you didn't eat work. When you get upset you don't eat. I know today was hard. If you knew we were meeting, you would have been upset. Please eat something. " Sheldon begged.

_Damnit_, again, he was right. _Jerk_. She was starving. Too tired to cook, she just would have gone to bed after the emotional day she had. She would have slept in, had no time to eat before work and probably have gone all day without a bite. Amy knew she would do that because she had just done it a day before. She hadn't had anything to eat in 36 hours.

Amy took the plate and swung around, not letting him watch her eat. Stupid Sandwich, best tasting sandwich she had in months. She loved it… _Jerk_.

Sheldon worked on her dishes. They had piled up a little, not too bad. She kept eating the sandwich and when she was done, she swung around and put the plate on the counter. Staring her in the face was a plate of Brownies. _Where in the hell did he get those?_

Sheldon finished the dishes and moved to chair in the kitchen."I hope you are feeling better."

"So what do you want from me? Gratitude? God Sheldon, you are clueless. If you think I am going to _Enjoy_ you taking care me, or run back in your arms, you aren't as smart as advertised."

"No I just wanted to take care of you , you needed it."

"What I need to tell you off. And Kick you out."

"Fair enough. We can talk if you want, or you can just yell at me without my retort. You decide. I am willing to listen. I willing to wager you have more to say to me that I never heard before. It is painful for me to hear how I've hurt you. I had no idea and I am so sorry for my ignorance. But if you need to tell me more, I will listen." Sheldon leaned down, his arms on his knees, head jutted out. Almost waiting for the noose to put around his neck.

"So, you want me to yell at you, you want me to tell you how you've hurt me? How you are a complete selfish ass? How about this… How about I tell you that I am fine without you? How about I tell you I don't need you or don't want you?" Amy crossed her arms in defiance.

"You need someone, Amy. Maybe not me. Maybe not today. But you need someone. I am here for you today because I know that. I don't want to lose you, but if you need to hate me. Then hate me. I understand."

Amy sighed, " You hate to lose. You said it kills you to lose."

"Someone taught me a valuable lesson this summer. If you truly care about someone, you anticipate _**their**_ needs and fulfill them. Even if makes you uncomfortable, or is painful for you, even if it kills you inside. If you know it will help them, you do it. Not for expectations or payback, but because you know they need it. And that's all that matter to you. "

"Who taught you that, your Meamaw?

"No, You did"

…. Silence. Amy just stared at him.

Sheldon slowly stood up. He grabbed his bag.

"I am going to leave now and let you rest. If you want, call me tomorrow. I will listen. If not, I will wait."

He moved over to her, leaned down and kissed her on the top of her head and walked out the door.

Amy sat in her same spot for what felt like hours. She just started out. Her mind was blank. _What just happened?_


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

_Welcome to the fallout… Welcome to resistance…_

Penny waited in her car for Sheldon to talk to Amy. She wanted to go up with him, but he wouldn't let her. Sheldon wanted to talk to her alone. Penny was desperate to explain her deception to her friend. At least she hoped Amy was still her friend. She shouldn't have lied to her. How could she have known she did? What the hell happened? She thought to call Bernadette. Maybe something happened on Spa Day?

"Hello?"

"Bernie, its Penny, hey listen, have you talked to Amy?"

" I saw her yesterday at the Spa, what's up, is she okay?"

"Yes and no. She's pretty upset. Sheldon came back and he talked to her."

"I know."

"Thought you said you didn't talk to her?"

"Amy knew Sheldon was coming back. " Bernie didn't want to admit it, but she had to in order to explain. "She heard your message to Sheldon…"

"How the hell did she hear my message?"

"Howard broke into Sheldon's phone to erase a message Amy left my mistake… It was one of the other messages."

"Why didn't you tell me? You should have given me some warning!"

"I could say the same to you! You should have told Amy about Sheldon. She didn't know what was going on."

"I know.." Penny sighed. She was right. She should have stood up to Sheldon and told Amy. She really screwed up. She only wanted them back together. Amy had been a wreck and Sheldon seemed so sincere.

Bernie was dying with curiosity. "What happened, did she meet him? What did he say? Was he surprised?"

"I wasn't there, I was down the street waiting for Amy. She must have figured out what was going on and went to the coffee shop. Oh, Bernie, she was so mad at me. I have never seen her that mad. She looked though, just sad. So sad…"

"Well Penny, you are going to have to give her some time. She was pretty hurt you lied to her. Emily even thought you were having an affair with Sheldon!"

"That Bitch! I would never, ug. NEVER! I was _TRYING_ to help them. Amy needs Sheldon, and he certainly needs her." Penny was fuming over Emily. That crafty little backstabbing Bitch!

"Amy doesn't need him, she'll be fine. And Sheldon just wants to OWN Amy. He doesn't want any else to play with his doll, including himself. Such a child."

"I don't know, Bernie, he's different. He was so calm when he talked about Amy. He loves her. He was going on and on about some kind of Plank thing… How it means she is his constant, never changing love… Blah Blah physics crap. Bottom line, he loves her. I know for a fact she loves him. She is so mad, I don't think she can see it."

"Well that son of bitch better step up and treat her right. We spent the summer putting the pieces of that girl back together after he threw her away. Now, he wants her back. He better earn it."

Penny sighed, "I know he wants to, but I don't know if knows how. Sheldon's an idiot when it comes to showing his feelings. And let's not forget, he needs to get over his fear of touching… All I know is they belong together and I am going to make sure it happens. I know in the end, Amy and Sheldon are better together than apart…"

"Well, maybe you're right. She was wreck… He was an ass. Of course he was as ass before too. I need to see this "New Sheldon" you're so confident in… I'm not so sure…." Bernie needed to see the proof in the pudding, so to speak.

"oh, here he comes. Let's get the gang together this week. It will good to see everyone together again. I miss it.."

"Me too, its been a strange summer. Ill talk to Howard and get back to you. Good Luck Sheldon, you might have another friend to put back together tonight."

"OH THANKS!, Bye."

Sheldon looked tired. He walked back slowly to the car holding on to the strap of his bag as if it was a life line. As he slid into the passenger seat, he let out a huge sigh.

"Spill!" Penny demanded

Sheldon took another breath before he started mentally cataloging all the events of the day. He lost Amy that was for sure. But he might be able to get her back. He had to be patient. Penny was not patient, however, not at all..

"Spill damnit, what happened? Did she talk to you, are you back together?!"

"Amy is okay, but no, we are not together. I just took care of her, that's all. I drew her bath, made her a sandwich. She needs to sleep. Maybe she will call me tomorrow. I don't know."

"You mean to tell me that you didn't talk… AT ALL… Wait, what, you made her a sandwich?"

"Yes, she doesn't eat when she is upset. I knew she was upset."

"Oh Sheldon, that's so sweet! Did she like it, did she say ANYTHING?"

"She is still mad at me. She still wants to end the relationship. But, I think we are still friends. I can work with that. I have to get her back, Penny. I have to." Sheldon eyes were glazed over now. The events of the last week were weighing on him. He didn't know how to get Amy back. Not a clue. He wasn't used to not knowing something.

"Okay mister, you listen to me: You had better EARN her back, you understand? None of this is going to be fixed with a tiara and some spider man quote. You need to show her you love her. "

"How do you know Leonard loves you?" Sheldon couldn't think of anyone one of his friends beside Leonard who knew about romantic love. Leonard may be poor excuse for scientist, but he sure won Penny's heart.

"I don't know really" Penny answered as if she had never thought about that question before. "I feel it in my bones. Leonard does little things for me, all the time. Thoughtful things, showing me he is thinking of me. I don't know, I just know he loves me. " She looked out now, she was far away. Penny loved Leonard, but does she show him? God, what would he say if he was asked the same question. Penny sucked at romantic stuff. She knew who to call.

Sheldon and Penny said it at the same time, "_We Need Leonard!"_


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Penny texted Leonard on the way back to the apartment, much to the chagrin of Sheldon who was convinced they were going to die before they got to Los Robles.

Leonard was home, waiting for them. Sheldon loved seeing his friend standing in the apartment. It was almost like he hadn't left. Leonard went in for a timid hug. To his surprise, Sheldon didn't flinch. He pulled Leonard in and started crying uncontrollably. Leonard just rubbed his back, telling him he'd be okay. _It's okay buddy, don't worry._

Over Sheldon's shoulder, he was mouthing to Penny:

_What the hell?_

Penny shrugged, coming in for hug too.

Finally, Sheldon stopped, pulled away and slumped on his spot. His eyes were red from crying, glazed and staring out in the room, but he was breathing normally.

Leonard at in his chair next to him. He knew about the plan, about the coffee shop, but he didn't know how it went. He didn't have to ask, the proof was sitting in his spot, glazed over. Sheldon's shoulders said it. It did not go well.

"Hey buddy, can you talk about it? How bad was it?" Leonard didn't want to push Sheldon.

"It was bad, Leonard, pretty bad…." He trailed off. Then he breathed in a huge sigh and got his composure back. "However, all is not lost. We are still friends. I can work with that."

"What are you going to do?"

"I have no idea..." Sheldon was looking back on his behavior at Amy's house. He was pretty good at taking care of her when she was sick. He learned how from years of his mother taking care of him. But to show her he loves her? That's a whole other kettle of fish..

Sheldon had expected Amy to jump back in his arms. He was the brilliant Dr Sheldon Lee Cooper after all. He didn't have to work hard to get her the last time. The hard part of their relationship was maintaining it. Now, he had to convince her he was a good suitor AND then keep up with the relationship. SHeldon didn't have the first clue how to get a woman.

"Well, first off, I need to learn how to woo women. That is where you come in.."

"Me, what the hell do I know about women?"

"Leonard, if you can convince Penny to marry you, despite all you obvious faults, you must know something. SO… as Penny loves to say, Spill!"

"Well… Huh… Let me see… You need to show her you care about her. You think about her when she is not there. "

"Okay, I can work with that. I can make a log of every time I think of her and copy on it. I can use Google Calendar and…"

Leonard cut him off. "No Sheldon, this isn't a time to methodical. It needs to be from the heart."

"Well, that is "_from the heart"_. I _love_ Google Calendar, and Amy _loves_ logs. Must be a biology thing."

"Okay, okay. Just don't make a science experiment okay.. It has be more… I don't know… personal.. you know.." Actually Leonard didn't know either. He thought about Penny all the time, but it was in little ways, like when he is shopping, he picks out her favorite ice cream or when he working, he tries to think of some experiment he could show her.

"FINE…." Sheldon breathed out, this was going to be harder than he thought. "What else you got?"

"Well, you could do something nice for her, that she is not expecting. Like a surprise"

"Oh, no I hate surprises! Are you sure women like that kind of thing?"

Penny's turn: " Yes, yes they do. Especially when they don't expect it. Remember when Leonard bought me the car? No you don't have to get Amy a CAR, or really any kind of gift. It is the thought behind the present that matters, not the present."

"Oh boy." That is going to take Sheldon sometime to think about. His wheels were already turning…

"Okay, I can catalog her sheet music by genre, organize her closets. Howard and Bernadette liked that..."

"No no Genius, you need to surprise Amy with something SHE would like, not you. QUIT thinking Sheldon and think Amy!" Penny snapped.

Leonard was more kind, "Listen Sheldon, being romantic isn;t something that comes easy to most people..: He eyed Penny who put her head down. "But the easiest way is to have something that you are really going to have to work on... Empathy."

"Good lord, more hippy feelings. Look, I like Amy and we belong together, shouldn't that be enough, she is a smart woman, why can't she see that." Sheldon crossed his arms over his chest. This was proving to be more difficult than he originally planned.

"Just think like Amy, what would she like. And do that for her, nothing too big. Use that memory of yours and think back to every time she said she liked something. Your brain sometimes gets in the way of romance. This time, use to your advantage." Leonard was hoping waxing Sheldon's ego would snap him out of it. It worked, he thought. Sheldon uncrossed his arms and looked like his was savaging his memory banks for Amy related moments.

"The biggest thing, Sheldon, is that you have to show you are attracted to her."

"Yeah good luck, here Pal." Penny added.

"Hey, I am attracted to Amy! She is brilliant. Her mind is so much like mine. Her command of the lexicon is matched "only by my own. Her argument style is faultless. She is methodical, organized, I dont have to tell you how she can rip apart a person's so… so…."

"Okay, earth to Sheldon… Down there boy. You need to SHOW her! You know what that means? You are going to have to get physical."

"Yes yes yes, she smart, but do you think she is pretty?" 

"Amy doesn't care about stuff like that, she is a scientist, not a screaming boy band groupie. And besides, she is my girlfriend, well, was... of course I do, what kind of question is that?" Sheldon was shocked at the implication.

"Does she **_know_ **you think she's pretty or physically attractive? Like at all? I dont think you have ever said she was, or showed her. That's no good buddy. If you like her, you have to show her."

"I know that.. I just… don't know…. How… Really, I am mean I do, _KNOW HOW_…, I don't want to talk about this with you!" Sheldon was squirming.

"Fine, Sheldon you don't have to talk about it. But when the times comes, you better be… Up … for the challenge…" Penny snickered. She loved making Sheldon blush.

Leonard saved him, " Look Sheldon, I know physical contact is hard on you, and it is an uncomfortable topic. You probably are not going to have worry about that for a while, given how mad Amy is right now. But buddy, it is going to come up. Are you sure this is what you want? If you are friends with Amy, isn't that enough?"

Sheldon sat up and looked out straight in the room and really thought about what Leonard said. He could just be her friend, nothing more. But no, he wanted more from her. He was attracted to her, he just pushed it aside out of fear his urges would take over life, his mind.

Now, given the choice, he would choose to have her, in all ways. He wanted more. What a turn of events! Just a while ago, it was Amy saying she wanted _more_ during the D&D game. He didn't understand it then. Why would she want more?

He was working on being more intimate, but he really didn't think he wanted it. Not till that Train kiss did he realize he was ready. Funny how now he is one who want more… Twist of fate.

Finally Sheldon answered, " No Leonard, it not enough. I've been afraid to move forward with Amy in the past for various reasons. However, I am ready now. I want more from her. I want her in all ways, always." Sheldon put his head back…" I just hope its not too late."

Leonard sat back too. He was worried. Amy was pretty hurt by Sheldon. He wasn't confidant that they could recover. Penny was, much to Leonard's surprise. Who knew she could be such a romantic?

"Well, buddy. It is steep hill you need to climb. I will help you as much as I can, but the truth is, it's up to Amy. She needs to be ready too. For the longest time, she was the one pining for you. I think she is done with that now. It's your turn and I hate to tell you, it's going hurt if she turns you down. Like nothing you ever hurt from before. And no amount of cats will make up for it…"

"I'm already hurting Leonard. I am broken as if every bone is made of glass shards. I feel like I am missing part of my soul and I dont understand it. I am holding on to the knowledge that however broken I feel, I would be worse without her at all. It is worth the risk. She is worth the possible pain."

Sheldon's mind was wandering now. He had to plan, he had to think. Without saying another word, he got off the couch and went to his room. Lying in his bed he planned his day tomorrow. The Fight for Fowler had just begun.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Amy woke up feeling better. She had a good cry and good night sleep. After Sheldon left, she thought about how she was going to handle the new paradigm between them. If they were still friends, could she live with it? She still loved him, that didn't change. But was she fooling herself. Should she open herself up to be being hurt by him again?

Oh, but she missed him. Missed their conversations, missed his voice, his laugh. She missed their field trips, their games. She missed her friend Sheldon as much as she missed her boyfriend. But, looking in those blue eyes again brought it all back. His smirk and side glance could send her in orbit. His dark hair next his cream white skin made her melt. The temptation was unbearable. Could she possibly be his friend and not he hurt by him? The answer today was no. It was too soon. She needed to get to work, and focus. Enough of the Dr Cooper Channel she was playing in her head.

After she showered and got dressed, she noticed the clock.. Damn, not enough time to eat. No matter, she will catch lunch, if she can. She grabs her purse and keys and runs out the door. Immediately she stopped, almost tripping over the bad left in front of her door. It's a bag with her favorite donuts and a hot tea. Amy looks around to see if the mystery person was still around. Nothing. It had to be Sheldon; he was the only one who knew of her donut vice. She grabs the gift and heads toward her car.

That when she noticed it. A silver sun screen. She didn't own one of those, although she should. Glendale in August was a bitch. She really needs to lock her car at night. She opens the door and there on her seat is a music book:" Rock Music Arrangements for the Harp." Oh, he really is working it now. Boy is he trying hard… throwing the book on the passenger side; she starts her car and heads to Cal Tech.

Wonder when he did all this? He must have been her early… Amy sniffs the air, why does she smell brownies? It's her new air freshener. _Oh, you smart cookie. Using my Olfactory system to trigger and memory and emotion response. The night of the train, we ate a brownie pie for dessert. OH, damn its working. You clever boy…._

Pulling into Cat tech brought it own set of problems. For some reason, every man on campus was saying hi to her. "Good morning, Dr Fowler, Nice to see you Dr. Fowler. Let me hold the door for you Dr. Fowler." She really shouldn't have changed into her dress at work yesterday. The wolves were out for blood.

Finally, she was her lab, she could escape into work.

Around lunch time, Raj and Howard showed up at her door.

"Well, Amy, are you ready for Lunch?"Raj didn't want to push, but he just had to know how it went. Raj really liked Amy and Sheldon together. He was a hopeless romantic. It was the only thing he fought with Emily about. Emily thought Amy was too good for Sheldon, Raj disagreed. Emily liked Amy and was not too impressed with the stories she was hearing about Sheldon. Truth was she didn't know him, but he wasn't wrong either, SHeldon was an ass to Amy, no doubt about it. Raj felt Sheldon could learn from Amy and they were better together. Back and forth the debate would go, sometimes it would get heated. It was okay when they fought though. The makeup sex was amazing.

"Yes, I'll be right there." Amy was glad Raj and Howard were there. She would hate to have to go to lunch with campus wolves around. Especially Kripke. Yuck. He was such a weasel.

"Okay, Amy I can t stand it anymore… How did it go? Did you wear the dress, did you look amazing?"

Howard piped up, "Oh I can answer that, she wore the dress alright. She is the talk of the science departments. You made quite an impression." Howard wishes he was there to see it. According to what he heard, Amy was smoking. Who knew underneath all that wool and polyester she was a smoking babe? She looked pretty good today as a matter of fact. Different. Happier.

"Well gentleman, let's just say I feel I got my point across. Dr Cooper got the message loud and clear." Amy heart sank; they were just walking by Sheldon's office. It was the hardest part of going to lunch, seeing his name on the door. Today, it didn't hurt as much. She secretly wishes he was behind the door, but she dare not admit it.

"Are you getting back together? Did he apologize for being such a whinny."

Howard piped in, "That's Winnie, not Whinny, Raj. And of course he didn't apologize, this is Dr Sheldon Cooper we are talking about. "

"Actually…"Amy started to say…

Howard stop in the middle of the hall and stared at her. " Are you telling me that the great and powerful Dr Cooper said he was sorry? Wow, I wish you were wired, we could have put it in on Youtube."

Amy laughed.. First time in months. Wow that felt good. "Well, guys I don't know what to tell you, but the short and funny version is he wants to get back together. I said no way, but we could be friends."

"Aaaaahhh Not the "let's be friends" line again, Amy God no. That is death for guys. Either end it or not. Rip the bandaid."

Raj was hopeful. "So if you still are talking, there is a chance right, I am mean if he is changed. You love him Amy. He might not say it but he loves you too. He just needs to prove it."

"Well, he did say it, actually, but I didn't believe him." Amy couldn't believe it.

Both Raj and Howard stopped at stared at her. "Sheldon told you he loved you? Wow, that's huge. That's a BIG step for him.

Amy looked away, "He was just trying to win an argument. He didn't mean it."

"I don't know, girl." Raj looked dreamy eyed " He might surprise you."

"Sheldon hates surprises." She said flatly.

After lunch, Amy asked Raj and Howard to walk her back to her lab. She wasn't ready to jump back in Sheldon' s arms, but she didn't want to have any else's arms near her.

-…

_Almost, 2 weeks, 13 days, since the coffee shop. Sheldon didn't attempt to call Amy, but he texted her everyday:_

_**Good morning Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler.**_

He waited for her reply. Nothing… Not a sniff, or a hint or anything. Amy didn't give in, but she was breaking. Every morning when she left her house she had a new breakfast waiting for her. Sometimes it was tea and biscuits; sometimes it was coffee and a sandwich. It was uncanny how he knew exactly what she was craving.

Then there was the car. Every morning she had a new gift. Once it was a stuffed monkey from the zoo. Another time it was her Cover Article in Neuron framed. Sometimes, it was just a science article he knew she would enjoy. The signed 1st addition of Little House was a nice touch. He found every paper she had ever written in Neuroscience, even the ones from college, and had them all bound in a book, titled, "Neuroscience by Dr Amy Farrah Fowler. Amy smirked at one gift in particular, her own person set of D&D dice in a purple pouch. The last one was especially sweet. She didn't know how it did it, but he had a game company professionally make cards and box for their game, "Counter Factuals." The box was gold rimed with blue and black strips. . If she wanted Sheldon to stop the gifts, she should have locked her car. But, Sheldon found it unlocked every time he put in a present.

Amy still didn't call, didn't text, didn't write. He told her he would wait, but it was hard for Sheldon. Every day he would stare at his phone, as if his mind would make the text appear.

While he waited, the gang was becoming a little more normal again. Sheldon had a new routine, but it was still rigid. He was even planning on ending he's sabbatical and returning to Cal Tech on Monday.

Everyone gathered for meals on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Even Emily was warming up to Sheldon. Penny and Emily were a little icy to each other, but civil. The one missing person was Amy. No one sat in her spot during meals, Sheldon wouldn't allow it.

Amy still saw Raj and Howard for lunch, and Emily and Bernadette after work. No one asked her about Sheldon. That was Sheldon's request. He didn't want her to be pressured. For the most part, everyone complied, except Raj. He would ask about her gift every morning with dream eyes and sigh. Amy was running on the tread mill almost every day, much to Kripke delight. Sheldon had been warned that Kripke was sniffing around Amy, and he knew why. It was his fault for lying to Kripke about he and Amy's sex life. Kripke probably thought Amy would be an easy lay. It enraged Sheldon to think about it. Sheldon was going to set him straight, even if he was with Amy, Kripke certain wasn't good enough for Dr Amy Farrah Fowler. That was part of the reason he wanted to go back to Cal Tech, to keep Kripke from Amy.

After returning home from daily delivery to Amy's. This time it was Counter factual game. He heard a ping from his phone. Probably Kripke, he had just texted him telling him they needed to talk and to met him at his old office on Monday.

As he looked down, the smile spread across his face reminded him it was the first time he had smiled in weeks. It hurt, but it was worth it.

S- _**Good morning Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler.**_

_**A-Good morning Dr. Sheldon Cooper.**_


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

_What was once old, is new again. _

Sheldon's heart dropped out of his chest and into his gut. Amy texted back!

_**Okay Cooper, play it cool… Don't scare her…**_

_Sheldon- How are you this morning._

_Amy- Quite well. I had an interesting delivery this morning. Thank you for the scone by the way._

_Sheldon: You're quite welcome. I trust you enjoyed your gift. _

_Amy- Yes. I was quite surprised. _

_Sheldon- I wanted you to have my favorite game. _

_Amy-There I s problem with it, I have to tell you._

_Sheldon- Oh no, what's wrong with it?_

_Amy- It is a two person game._

_Sheldon- This is true, try as I might, I have not devised a single player option for our game. _

_Amy-Do you have any suggestions as with whom I should play ?_

_Sheldon- why, yes. I do as a matter of fact. I would greatly appreciate and enjoy the pleasure of playing counter Factuals with you, Dr Fowler. _

_Amy- Okay. Let's play now._

_Sheldon- Great. Where do I meet you?_

_Amy- No, not in person, here on text._

_Sheldon- Not as pleasant, but I can give it a whirl._

_Amy- First question: in a world where oranges are pets, not food, rules the earth?_

_Sheldon- worms_

_Amy Defend_

_Sheldon- Florida and California increase production of oranges to fill demand. As production increases, apple juice becomes the most popular breakfast juice. Large fields of Apples are planted to fill demand. Worms, now free to find homes in the new fields. Increase in worm production, coupled with artificial fertilization practices creates a race of genetically superior worms, free to dominate the world. _

_Amy- Correct._

_Sheldon- The game is much better in person, you know._

_Amy- Not true, I am having a lovely time._

_Sheldon Glad to hear it. Me too. Thank you Amy._

_Amy- Your welcome, Sheldon_

And so it went for the rest of the weekend. Sheldon and Amy texting each other, playing their game. Sheldon loved every minute of it. No one could stump him like Dr Fowler. Amy had missed this part of the friendship. She was warming up to him again, slowly. He certainly wasn't giving up. Sometimes he would try and get her back, in his own charming way:

_Amy- Correct. That was good answer, Dr Cooper._

_Sheldon- Well, not as good as the company, Dr Fowler._

_Amy- Thank you, I haven't played in so long, I was worried I would be rusty._

_Sheldon- You are brilliant, a few months off won't change that. Nothing will._

_Amy- High praise coming from someone who is beating me in the game._

_Sheldon- Not at all, and I think you are letting me win._

_Amy- I am not!_

_Sheldon- I cant imagine beating you at anything. No one challenges me like you, Amy. We are like contact binary Star system._

_Amy- What do you mean?_

_Sheldon-A binary system has two stars that orbit around each other. Sometimes, when one star dies, the other attracts its mate material and can reignite fusion. A contact binary star exists in which both components of the binary fill their Roche lobes. The uppermost part of the star forms a common envelope that surrounds both stars. As the friction of the envelope brakes the orbital motion, the stars may eventually merge._

_Sheldon- That is how I see you and I sometime._

_Amy- You mean attracting each other's stellar material?_

_Sheldon- No, I mean merging due to orbital motion._

_Amy-Oh my Dr Cooper. It takes years for that process to occur._

_Sheldon- You are worth the wait._

_Amy- you might be waiting a long time._

_Sheldon-you waited 4 years for one kiss on a train. I think I can beat the record. However long it takes, Amy. I will wait._

Amy couldn't take it anymore. She was going to break. The whole weekend was like old times, but better. Sheldon was still an egotist and she doubted he stopped being a condescending jerk. He was still stubborn and stuck in his ways. She was seeing a new side of his personality. He almost seemed kind, sweet and romantic. Maybe someone stole his phone? She laughed. Maybe talking to him wasn't the worst idea, you know... For scientific curiosity

**The little voices in her head wouldn't shut up.**

_Come on Fowler, he's going to hurt you! Protect yourself._

_I am just calling a friend.. Nothing more. _

_He's going to hurt you again, can you risk it?_

_How will you know if he has changed if you never give him a chance._

_He had 4 years to change. He did nothing._

_That's not true, he made a lot of changes._

_If you love yourself you wont call. _

_If you love yourself, you'll let him love you. _

_**Enough!**_

Sheldon was worried. She hadn't texted back in over 15 minutes. Did he scare her off? He shouldn't have pushed. Ha! Shouldn't have pushed. Wasn't he always telling that to her. Now, she is overwhelmed, he , of All people, should have known better. What an idiot, he screwing up his big chance… Just when Sheldon was ready to text her an apology for being so bold, he's phone was ringing. It was a call.

AMY FARRAH FOWLER

"Hello Dr Fowler."

"Hello Dr Cooper.

" Its so good to hear your voice."

"Thank you for a lovely game of Counter Factuals. I really enjoyed it. I wanted to say thank you, more personally."

"Oh really, what do you have in mind?"

"**_This_ **Sheldon, _**this** _is what I have in mind… I called you"

"Oh, yes, of course.. Sorry, Wishful thinking."

"Yes well, it was great to hear you voice too. I better go."

"Wait Amy, Wait… Can I call you again, maybe."

"I'll call you. Maybe we can have another game, but over the phone."

"We could play the word association game, or "find the fractal". Or.. I don't know D&D..."

"Don't get cocky Cooper…"

"Of course, Dr Fowler, whatever you say will be lovely, I'm sure."

"Yes, well. Again, thanks...again. I better go."

"Good Night Amy Farrah Fowler

"Good Night, Sheldon Lee Cooper."

Amy let out a sigh… God, he was good. She was folding alright; Like a lawn chair. That man.. that impossible man. Amy needed a long shower and a turn with Gerard to get over this night.

Sheldon wasn't much better. Her voice. Oh man, that Vixen! He loved it when she scolded him. He was going to need a long shower over this tonight. Good thing Leonard was sleeping at Penny's. Sheldon needed privacy. Lately, he had been allowing his baser urges to come back. He was working on controlling them, rather than suppressing them. Each night he would imagine a new scenario with Amy, this time with more control. If he ever got a chance to show her what he learned, it wanted it to be controlled, yet passionate. Tonight however, he thinks he'll think of her in that dress. He would love to see it again. On the bedroom floor…

Next morning was Sunday. The gang was coming over for dinner and some vintage video game night. Sheldon and Howard had rigged the system to play multiplayer "Hack," a text based game. They also had set up the Atari 2600 for "Warlords." It was good night to have the guys over. Sheldon needed some advice on women, but didn't know which guy to ask. Howard historically had demonstrated he was out of control with his baser urges. Sheldon needed advice on showing a woman she was attractive, not getting her pants off with a leer. Raj was no help, it was luck of the Gods Emily was going out with him. His track record with women was worse than Sheldon. Although... Sheldon thought, he was having regular coitus with Emily. Maybe Raj had learned something or maybe, it was Emily. Sheldon knew who he needed to talk to about women, a_ woman!_

Emily was picked up Raj early. They were going to go to the Norton Simon Museum for an event. As soon as Emily showed up, Sheldon shot up, and asked to speak with her in the kitchen.

"Hey Sheldon, that's my woman there, no funny business." Raj joked. He knew Sheldon wouldn't make a play... Right? He did steal her Indian Princess... Hmm he better watch out.

"Emily, I require some advice that I believe you can provide. I need to show a woman that I am attracted to her, physically."

"Woah, back up there pal. I'm off the market and I thought you were... "

"No, not you, for god sake. Good lord, why would I be attracted to you? No, a different woman.."

"Well insult aside, you mean Amy, huh?"

"Yes, Dr. Fowler."

"Well, first off, quick thinking of her as Dr. Fowler, and think of her as Amy."

"That's insane, her degree is part of who she is, her credentials are dare I say, Sexy..."

"What I'm trying to say, if you want to show AMY, that you like her, you need to treat her a woman, and not a scientific colleague. She needs to know you like her body and her mind. She kind of freak you know.."

"No, I really don't know what you are referring to, however you're right. I am sorely lacking in the area of showing her I am attracted to her... Body...Oh boy. This is an uncomfortable topic."

"Look, I wont get into details, but the best way to show a woman you like their... assets...SO to speak, is to touch them. Not her Assets.. Let me start again. I will give you an example. When Raj told him he liked my hair, he was looking at my hair. When we first kissed, he looked at my lips. I knew he liked my hair because he was always playing with it. "

"Touching without prior consent would be offensive. I don't want to be "handsy" as Amy would say."

"I'm not saying grope the poor girl, just casual touching. Nothing more. A kiss doesn't hurt either. Look, I haven't known you long, but I do know this:It is hard for you. Touching isn't your scene. But if you like Amy, you're going to have to get over it. If you see something you like, her face, just lightly touch her. You will see, once you take the leap, you might be surprised."

"Well, if you must know, when I kissed her, it was surprising to me how much I WASN'T freaked out by it. It was natural, but it was at set time, a controlled environment." He was thinking of their date night kisses. He looked forward to them more than he wanted to admit to Amy. His Kiss on the train was different though, maybe that is what Emily is referring to?

"THAT"S your problem, right there. Remember I said CAUSAL touching... No time line, no set agenda. Just reach out, and lightly touch her. More and more you will see, it will become more natural for you. That's if you can ever get her to see you again... "

"Well, I'm working on it. She is as stubborn, as... "

"You."

"Yes. As me... Thank you Emily. It has not been unpleasant conversing with you."

"Ah, thanks back...I think."

Sheldon had a lot to think about. Monday was fast approaching. He was going back to Cal Tech. He had to confront Kripke and get him to back off. As much as Sheldon was a gentleman, Kripke was not. If Sheldon had trouble touching Amy, Kripke was the opposite. Oh boy.

He sent a quick text to Amy.

_S- I will be at Cal Tech tomorrow. I would love to you see if youre available._

_A- I am very busy tomorrow. The study results need to analyzed. If I have time. I will try and say hello. Good night Dr. Cooper_

_S-That would be wonderful. Good night, Amy_


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Cal Tech was the usual bureaucratic nightmare for Sheldon. After he delivered Amy's surprise, he and Leonard headed there. It was the first day back for Sheldon, and he expected the worst. He was not disappointed. The Board still would not let him switch focus, Siebert was still a complete tool and worst of all, Kripke was still there. After Sheldon checked in with Ms. Davis, filled out the filing cabinet of forms she thrust upon him, he was finally able to get to his office. Alex was back, thank god. Her warm greeting and predictable relative efficiency was the bright spot in a rather grueling day. After the usual pleasantries, it was back to the grind. Sheldon may not have his heart in M Theory, but right now, he couldn't change now, he had bigger fish to fry: Dealing with one Barry "the leach" Kripke.

20 minutes late as usual, Kripke strolled in Sheldon's office with a huge smirk and an arrogant strut. Kripke was riding high. He was the darling of the department since Cooper left. His office was bigger now. But best of all, he was able to watch Amy Farrah Fowler bounce on the treadmill for at least 2 weeks straight. He loved watching her run. Her breath pushing her delicious breasts up and down… Up and down… Oh man, good god, Kripke thought, no wonder Cooper was distracted when he had that piece of ass at home. Barry figured maybe a week and she was ready to come around.

Now Kripke had to get the competition out of the way: Cooper was first on his to-do list.

Sheldon stood up when Kripke came in his office. He moved to close the door. No need for everyone to hear this. It was a private matter. He circled around Kripke like a Cobra, arms crossed over his chest, like he was giving a lecture to a child.. Well, actually…

"So, Kripke. I wanted to respond in person to the voice mail you left."

"Damn, Cooper you took your time. That was wlike 2 weeks ago. "

"Yes Well, I was busy solving the mysteries of the universe hoping to educate the deluge of ignorance I expected upon by return... Anyway, I wanted to tell you under no circumstance are you to bother Dr Fowler."

"Dr Flowers and I are Wriends. You cant tell me or her what to do."

"It is Dr. FOWLER, not FLOWERS. Barry, I might have left you with the wrong impression. Dr FOWLER, is a lady and I will not have you sniffing around her like a pole cat in heat." His Texas was up, but he was defending his woman.

"Cooper, you had you chance, you bloo it. You got to wride that pony, Give someone else a twry?"

"First of all Kripke, no one has.. As you so vulgarly expressed, "ridden that pony" Dr Fowler and I have never engaged in coitis. Secondly, you have no…."

"Woah, Woah hold the phone, you told me you were doing her every night! Swim suit parts... etc. Now you saying, what, she's a virgin… Liwely Story Cooper, Not buying. It."

God, Sheldon hated this… Hated admitting ANYTHING to this troll. But he had to do it. He had to tell the truth for Amy's sake. He took a deep breath and continued..

"It's true Barry, Dr Fowler and I never engaged in coitis. I just told you that so you wouldn't think your work was better than mine. I was not distracted by Amy, I was distracted by something else. I don't know what, but the point is… I have not had sex with Amy and neither will you, if I have anything to say about it."

"Well well well Cooper, it is about time you fwell down a fwew pegs. My work was BETTER than yours and you just admitted it. Ha! I should have wrecorded this… "

"Unless you have a sabbatical forth coming as well, I doubt you would have the _time_ to possibly comprehend how you are not BETTER than I. Be that as it may, you are not to pursue Dr Amy Farrah Fowler."

"You know what, you're a real piece of Work, Cooper. You couldn't clowse the deal, so no one else can either? I don't think so Cooper.. In fact, now that I know she's a Wirgin, she is even more… Intoxicating. I cant wait to de Flower Dr Flower!"

Sheldon looked down, took a deep breath and raised his glaring, pulsing eyes to Kripke. He was going to murder him with a glare alone; seething with anger he spat out the following: "I am warning you Kripke, you stay away from her or so help me, I will.."

"What Cooper, What! You know what, I would like to see you twry. See you waiter Cooper. Ive got go buy some… Fwlowers…." And with that, he slammed the door…

Sheldon was white with rage… If Kripke so much as breathes on Amy, he will lose it. How DARE he speak about her that way. She is lady, and he is treating her like a whore, a piece of meat!

Sheldon punched his white board over, crashing it to the floor. Still not enough to calm him down, although it felt good to punch something. Sheldon could see his pulse in his eyes. He had think, how to get rid of Kripke? Where to hide the body?… That troglodyte, how dare he. Knock down a few pegs, HA… Sheldon would like him knock him down: A flight of stairs.

He heard a knock at the door. _What fresh hell is this?_ IS that Kripke coming back for more?

"What!?" He yelled from his desk, crossed arms and plotting.

Amy peeked around the door. " I'm sorry, is this a bad time?"

Sheldon's whole body shot up and he shook off his hatred, "Oh no, forgive my rudeness. I thought you were someone else. Please Please come in…."

"No thank you, I cant stay. I just wanted to pop by on my way to lunch and say..Welcome back.." Amy was timid, not sure she should have come. It was Sheldon's first day back, he was probably busy. But she wanted to see him, his voice just wasn't enough.

"Thank you, its good to be back." He lied.

SHeldon quickly added, "I could go to lunch with you, if you are available. "

"No, no. I am. I mean, I am NOT available… I have a lunch date, but thank you for the invitation. I better go. Again, Welcome back Dr Cooper." Amy quickly left. Her resolve was melting, she needed to get away from him before she gave in too quickly. She rushed down the hall.

"Maybe another time, Dr Fowler. Have a good lunch and thank you."

SHeldon's mind was spinning:_ A lunch date?! Could this day get any worse?_ _Oh god, could it be with Kripke?_

Sheldon had to find out! As soon as she left, he jumped to the door. Sneaking around the frame, he waiting to see which direction she was going. LEFT! He waited… 3..2.. 1..He ran to the end of the hall. Snaking his head around he just caught a glimpse of her skirt going towards the parking lot door. Now was his chance. He ran down the hall, past the Men's bathroom, into the geology department. Their strange looks did not deter SHeldon as he waited at their doorway. 4 3 2 1… He made it to the out side door with enough time to see her head to her car…. Emergency.. He needed a car… Howard! His mini Cooper was in Sheldon's spot, right in front…He quickly got on the phone.

"Howard, I need you"

"Sheldon, I'm married now, you had your chance."

"No jokes Howard. Amy is on her way to a lunch a date and I need to see who she is meeting… This is priority 1, Def Con 4!"

"You can go stalking her on lunch dates, Sheldon.. Besides… I know where she is going… "

"You do? Where?"

"It will cost you"

_Oh god, what does he want now… Probably Sheldon's number 3 Fantastic Four…_

"Name your price, you scoundrel."

"There there … No need for that kind of sassy talk. I want you to do me a favor."

"Oh god what, Howard, did you mess up your closet again, you know Everything was clearly labeled."

" Not that, although, it has gotten a little messy..

"Im not wearing the french maid costume again..."

"NO. I want you watch my mother for an evening. Stuart has some comic book thing and cant watch mom."

"I thought Stuart was out the comic business."

"He is writing them now, he's pretty good. In fact, mom's been helping him with ideas. He has a signing event at another store."

"Watch your mother… For how long?" Sheldon shuttered, he remembers the last time he had to spend time with Howard's mother… there is not enough Purell to wash that stain out of his memory.

" 3 hours. You just have to watch her, help her with dinner and if she needs to use the toilet.."

"Oh no, I cant. NO way!"

"Fine, I sure hope Amy has fun on her…. DATE. I wonder what she's wearing, do you think her DATE will like what she's wearing SHeldon.. ummm?"

"FINE! You win! Deal!" T_he things he is doing for love._

"Great see you Wednesday."

"Wait! Where is Amy going? It is with Kripke?"

"Kripke, oh hell no, she hates that guy. She's meeting Penny."

"You're Kidding me…"

"Nope, see you Wednesday at 6, don't be late. Oh and Sheldon, you might want to bring a second pair of pants…It might get messy..Toodles."

"Good God what have I done?' Sheldon gasped.

As he sulked back to his office, at least she wasn't going with Kripke, but good lord, he had to watch Howard's mother.

He noticed a flyer on the bulletin board:

**INTERDEPARTMENT MIXER**

**FRIDAY 7-10 Multipurpose room.**

**Refreshments and cocktails served**

**Music and dancing in Gym Following viewing of the Undergraduate Honors thesis Film, "**_**History of Cal Tech told through Interpretive Dance. "**_

**Formal Attire**

_Interpretive dance, really? God, sounds dreadful._ _Although_… Sheldon thought.. _Amy might want to go. Hmm, seems maybe Sheldon Cooper need to find those black pants he lost or get a new suit. _


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Amy was not looking forward to Lunch. She hadn't spoken to Penny since the coffee shop debacle. Leonard talked to her about Penny. He wanted Amy to give her chance to explain, and apologize. Amy was not so sure she really wanted to give Penny a chance. She really didn't miss Penny. Sure, she missed the group, but she saw most of them without Penny. Amy was beginning to realize he didn't need Penny anymore. She had more friends at work; she was having fun with Bernie and Emily. She didn't need Penny putting her down, or critiquing her. Amy was going to Leonard and to clear the air. It wasn't good to hold on to grudges.

Penny was waiting for Amy at the restaurant,an outdoor cafe on Colorado Blvd. One of those causal, yet swanky places with over priced fusion cuisine. Penny was on the patio, seated at table so she could watch the door. It was hot and prayed for a breeze. She was nervous. Amy was furious with her after she lied. She knows she screwed up and would have to grovel. Penny wanted the group back together. She missed her little gang of misfits. With everyone there, she felt the leader of the group. Now, she was left out of lot of social gathering, and frankly, second wheel. If Amy could be her friend again, they could go back to how it used to be. She was there for herself, not so much for Amy.

Amy looked around the restaurant for the first bleach blond she could see. This being LA, she had her choice of 5 tables. Finally, she found Penny. She came up behind and sat straight down. When Penny saw her, she rose in her chair to give her hug, but quickly sat down when she realized it wouldn't be welcome.

"Hey Amy, thank for agreeing to meet me today."

"Well, I have to say, your future husband could sell ice to Eskimos. "

"yes, well… um… Okay. Well. First of all. I am want to say I'm am SO so Sorry, I lied to you. I wanted to explain why… You see you and Sheldon.."

Amy cut her off, " Sheldon and I have nothing to do with this. You lied Penny, not Sheldon. YOU! Your reasons are irrelevant to main point that you lied to me."

"Yes I know, Im sorry, I just wanted you to know why."

"I want to know why you feel you could. Why was that okay. Why you lied doesn't matter. What matters is that you think I am the type of friend that A. you can lie to and B. You don't respect. "

"I respect you!"

"Really Penny, I don't think you do. You have always thought of our friendship as a joke. I was someone you put up with for no other reason that you didn't want to hurt my feelings. I was always more a friend to you than you ever thought of me. "

"That's not true. I love being friends with you… I Miss…"

Just as Penny spoke, the waiter walked up.

Amy ordered a Chai Tea and salad. Penny ordered a glass of wine and cheese sticks. Neither women were very hungry.

"Amy, I really miss being friends with you."

"Penny, let me ask you a question. If it wasn't for Sheldon, would you be friends with me? Would we even know each other. Let me answer for you. Of course not. You and I are totally different people. "

"That's what I like about us, we are different. I would never know half the stuff you do, or can talk about, but we still have fun. We dress up, put on makeup, drink, dance, shop. "

"Penny, those are all things you did before me anyway. Can you name one thing you do differently since we have been friends? I can. Can you name one thing we did together that I liked _before_ I met you."

Penny thought about it. No she couldn't. Amy always did the stuff Penny wanted to do, not the other way around. "no I cant, but I cant keep up your science stuff. How could do what you do."

"I didn't say do what I do for work. What have we done together that you were not the one in control. That you put yourself out of your comfort zone for plain simple reason that it was for a firend, and they might like it even if you didn't. When have you ever put your needs after someone else? Friendship is a give and take Penny. I don't need our friendship to be happy anymore. If we are going to be friends, it has to be on a more even playing field. You have to think of us as equals, not just some pawn in your game or missing piece of complete set. I am a person, Penny, not a chore you are forced to put up with for Sheldon's sake." "

Penny sat back and took it all in. She was right. Amy was right. She didn't think of her as an equal. She always took Amy for granted, that she was her BESTIE. Amy's Bestie was Penny, but Penny was never her Bestie. It was true. But Amy and Penny had grown together over the summer, without Sheldon.

"You are not a chore, Amy, your my friend. Over the summer, we were better friends Without Sheldon."

"That's true. But when you lied to me, it all came crashing down. It was lost. It is going to be hard to get back."

"Well Amy, I would like to try. I think we can friends, like you say on an even playing field. I have a lot to work on. I am not used to analyzing my actions. But you are. I could use your help. I want to be a better friend, not just to you, but the whole group." Penny missed being part of the group. The rift with Amy was causing Penny problems.

"I am glad to hear that Penny. Maybe we can start a new friendship without the veil of obligation."

"huh?"

"Maybe we can be friends because you want to, not because you have to…"

"OH, Yes exactly! That what I want. You're a smart cookie Dr Amy. "

"Thanks Penny."

Just then their food arrived. Amy felt better.. She was glad to have cleared the air. Penny was better too, but still walking on egg shells. Maybe she needed the egg shells for while to appreciate her new friend. Penny was selfish, and her motivations for getting Sheldon and Amy together weren't just for them, but for her. She wanted Sheldon to be happy, and give Leonard a break. But this new Amy was different. She could see being friends with her.

" I have to say Amy, you are looking good. What are you doing? Are you losing weight? You seem, I don't know, stronger or something."

"Well, I have lost a just a little weight not much. Ive been eating regularly now, not skipping meals. I think it is just the endorphin rush from exercising. I've been using the treadmill at work for the last 2 weeks. It helps me think. I like it, I think I will continue. IT's been a nice addition to my routine. All except there is this creep that keeps bothering me."

"What Creep, who, a professor."

"Barry Kripke, he worked with Sheldon. He so creepy, he just stares at me all time, like lion eyeing a sheep."

"Kripke, Kripke.. Oh God, not that guy…" Then Penny remembered Sheldon telling her he was lying to Kripke about sleeping with Amy so he didn't have to tell him that his research was better. Oh man, she should have told Amy then, but it would have upset Sheldon. Should she do it now?

"Amy, uh, I should probably warn you about Kripke. Sheldon and he were on this project."

"oh I know, Sheldon was very upset that KRipke research was better. I even had to give Sheldon as consoling hug over it. He was pretty upset."

Amy remembering having to give Sheldon that hug. He was crushed that Kripke was smarter than he was. Truth was, Kripke wasn't, just probably able to convey his ideas better to the masses. It was nice that Sheldon needed a hug; Amy thought it was a breakthrough for him. Although his Boa Constrictor comment was a little off putting...

"Yeah, so upset that he told Kripke something was distracting him and that is why his work sucked."

"What was distracting Sheldon?"

"You."

Amy always fantasied that Sheldon would say he was distracted by her. She even thought he would kiss her because of it. He would lean over, causally grazing her lips softly at first, then with more passion. They would collapse into each other's arms, riding a wave of passion. Just a fantasy, nothing more. But that was before her real kiss with him on the train. That kiss was everything she wanted and more.

"Well that's sweet, he never told me that."

"No honey, he told Kripke that you and him were having sex…" Penny dropped the bomb.

"What, he lied about having sex with me… To Kripke?" Amy felt like she got hit with a pan in the face. Sheldon lied about having sex with her?

"Yes, Im sorry. I asked him about it and he.."

"You knew this and never told me?" More betrayal. This just gets better and better.

"Im sorry Amy, I figured it was Sheldon's job to tell you."

"As my friend, it was yours. God Penny, this is like the coffee shop all over again!" Amy knew to keep her guard up with Penny, but she didnt expect to be tested this soon. Penny was showing her true colors again.

"Im sorry Amy, I should have told you. I realize that now. Leonard and I were shocked Sheldon was even talking about sex with you. "

"Why, because why would he want to?" Was it so crazy that Sheldon wanted to have sex with her. Deep down, she always feared it wasnt Sheldon's fear of intamacy that kept him form her, but that he wasnt attracted to her. However, AMy had more confidience that, she did have a bectong pelvis after all. It was Penny who didn't think she was good enough.

"No, oh god no. Because Sheldon, not you. I asked Sheldon that night. I said, What's your deal, are you ever going to sleep with Amy? You know what he said, he said It's a possibility."

"Wow, rock my world Romeo. God, Don't even know how to process this. Of all things to lie about, the one thing he would never do. God, the more I think about the madder I am getting… Damn him. "

Amy sat back, starting to play with her salad and took a sip from her drink. For him to lie about having sex with her seemed especially cruel, given how much she wanted it. He knew that. Why on earth would he use that as a weapon?

"I know you don't want to hear this now, but I think Sheldon was wishful thinking…"

Amy threw down her fork, "Oh what a bunch of crap… He wasn't wishful thinking, he was cornered, and like a coward. " She grabbed her drink and took a huge gulp.

"It was Kripke who suggested he was sleeping with you, Sheldon didn't bring it up."

"How could he? he would have never thought it was possible or ever want it… Damn it… I was starting to like Sheldon again… Damn it. Sorry, my language. I just furious"

"Really, well listen… Old Sheldon was a self center ass, only concerned with himself and what he wanted. I know you don't want to hear this, but I have been talking to him for two weeks now every night, and guess what? he's changed. He really has… Its so weird. Its' like Sheldon 2.0 or something."

"what do you mean?" Amy sat up and listened. Sheldon did seem different, but it is always good to get new intel.

"First off, he cant stop talking about you… All day long.. God I need to job just get away from him.. Sorry that came out wrong… I mean he is gushing about you. Next, he is nicer in his own SHeldon way. I dont know, its weird. He still can be a condescending jerk off, but he considerate…the other day, Leonard was supposed to get food for us, but his car was blocked in. Old Sheldon would have had fit. New Sheldon offered to cook! Some kind of bacon sandwich thing... It was really good! Oh and the touching thing… He gave Leonard a hug when he got back. I don't know, its little changes, but they are there…"

"Old or new Sheldon, it doesn't matter. I still have to work at a place where my ex boyfriend bragged about our non-existent sex life. God, no wonder the wolves are out in force. I have had 5 offers in 3 days. I thought it was just seeing me in a dress…"

Penny laughed, she had always had to deal with men hitting on her. But Amy? She wasn't exactly a magnet for men. Amy was more confident since she had seen her last. Playing aloof was the quickest way to attract guys. If Amy was attracting all these bees with her honey, was wasn't she playing the field? She could date, and still work on Sheldon "Why haven't you gone out with them?"

"Who?'

"The 5 offers… Why haven't you gone out with them? You're single now, you could have, why not?"

Amy sat back and said in a sing-songy tone, "_I don't know,_ ..." She continued, "they weren't my type. One in from the Geology department, he always liked me. I am not interested in him at all. I even got Howard and Raj to help me get rid of him. Now he is back with a vengeance. Another is kind of, I don't know…Muscle guy, kind of stupid looking, remind me of Zach… None of them turn my head. I've been on more dates than I can count. I never got past the first date. I used to think it was that they didn't like me, but truth be told. I was off-putting for reason. I didn't like them. None of them. If they would have asked for a second date, I would have said no. I hate dating. HATE IT."

"Then what happened with Sheldon? How did her crack your armor?" Penny knew exactly how it happened, she wanted Amy to remember.

"We weren't dating, we were just friends. It was great. Finally someone who could keep up with me. After a while, I starting missing him, wanting to see him more and more. I would watch his eyes when he talked. I love the way he looks down that then back up, its such s sexy glare. When he asked me to be his girlfriend, I was happy because I never thought he wanted me in that in way, not like I wanted him. But it got to be such a chore for him. He was with me because of the obligation of having a girlfriend. When he went away, that feeling of obligation infected our friendship so even that got poisoned. Lately, we've been talking and its like a have my friend back. But I still want him. I don't know how long I can keep the friendship without poisoning it again with love."

Penny didn't understand Amy resistance, "Have both! Sheldon wants you, more than ever. More than the time of the 25 cats, more than when you went with Stuart, more than I have ever heard. You could have your friend and a lover. He is ready."

"Im not.. I just cant lose my friend again… I'm too afraid. I love him. I do, but I love our friendship more."

"I hear you Amy, I do. I felt the same about Leonard. I was afraid. We were such good friends, and I didn't want to ruin it. Then I took the leap. I closed my eyes and dropped in love. And you know what, Im better for it. I am happier and I have a better friend. The wait was so worth it. "

Amy remembered Sheldon's text. _The wait was worth it._


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Whirlewind week

**Monday night:**

Sheldon was sitting at his desk moving his mouse over and over the Skype button. Should he call her? No she said she would call him. He had to wait. He hating waiting. Such a waste of time. He should make some tea. He got up to make tea. No Chamimille tea. Bother… Earl grey? UP all night. Cranberry juice… Just was he was about to pour the glass, the Skype call! In his rush he spilled the cranberry juice all down his shirt. Good lord, he had to get it off. Rinse it. But the call? He tore off his shirt, ran to the computer and hit accept. It was her!

"Good evening Dr. Cooper. Are you alright?" Amy was Gobsmacked. Sheldon was topless! She had never seen him without shirt. He was sleak and lean, with muscles she didn't know he had. His neck was sexy enough, but god, his clavicles She could knaw on them for hours. And he calls her a Vixen!

"Yes, forgive me Dr Fowler, I just spilled juice all on my shirt. I will be with you in a moment. " He jumps off the chair, runs to his room, grabs the first shirt off the stack. He is putting it was he walking back in the living room. Now Amy can really see his body. He stretched out with arms over his head, before the flash t shirt takes the show away.

"Sorry for that. I hate sticky, you know."

"Oh, yes I know. Do you need to rinse the other shirt?"

"No it can wait, how are you?" Sheldon was lying through his teeth. It was killing him that that shirt was sitting in juice. He started to twitch.

"Sheldon, go rinse the shirt or it will stain. I will wait."

"OH god, Amy thank you.." He ran off, grabbed the shirt and rushed to the bathroom. He was gone for 4 minutes before he came back, finally calm.

"Feel better?' Amy snickered. She could have made him squirm, but that would have been cruel.

" You have no idea. Sorry for the delay. How was your lunch with Penny?

"How did you know I had lunch with Penny?"

"Little bird told me."

"Sheldon, you hate birds…"

"Okay, Okay, sorry! Howard told me. I was checking up on you. I apologize."

"Wow your honesty is refreshing. How out of character."

"What do you mean, I never lie, Amy"

Well Sheldon, that's not true. I'll get to the point of my call: Did you tell Kripke that we had slept together?"

That loose tongued Nebraska scandalmonger! Sheldon had another body to hide before the day was out. "Yes, Amy. Yes I did. I am sorry."

"Sheldon, I cant believe you. Of all the dirty, low down, rotten things.."

"I told him today it was a lie. I took it back. He knows the truth."

"When, after my lunch with Penny? Did she tell you I was upset?" Now it was Amy's turn to be mad at Penny. I bet she didn't even wait till she was back in the car before blabbing to Sheldon about the lunch conversation. Turn coat, traitorous gossip monger!

"No, before. Set up a meeting with him for today a few days ago. I knew I had to set the record straight."

"Wow, Sheldon, I have to say. I didn't expect that. I really didn't. That must have been hard for you." Since when did Sheldon Cooper apologize without it being forced out of him like a child having his toy taken away.

"You have no idea…" Sheldon said flatly. She really didn't It was one of the hardest things Sheldon had done. He hated to admit he was wrong, especially to a troll like Kripke.

"Why?"

" I was upset about the research.." Amy cut him off mid sentence.

" No Sheldon, why did you tell him the truth?"

"It was the right thing to do. Kripke left me a message that he was going to pursue you. I remembered that I told him about us… You know. .. Anyway. I didn't want him to get the wrong idea about you." It was almost too much. Almost. But Kripke had to know not to try anything with Amy. Amy was sweet and trusting. He couldn't watch her 24/7. If Kripke asked her out, she might fall for his charms. After all, she went out with Stuart, obviously since she felt sorry for him. But Kripke was after her for her mind, he just wanted coitus. I Kripke knew she wasn't that kind of girl, maybe he would back off. It was a long short, but Sheldon had to do it.

"You mean to tell me you told him you lied, you admitted his research was better, all because _**if** _Kripke asked me out, you didn't want him to think I was easy?"

"Yes. "

Amy just sat back. Who the hell was this guy, and where is Dr Sheldon Cooper? She was floored.

"Again Amy, I am sorry. Truly. I am trying to make it right. KRipke is still after you though. I need to you to know. He has his sights on you." Sheldon started twitching again. He wanted to scream at her not to go out with him, but he knew he couldn't. It was killing him.

Amy was no fool. She knew he was suffering over this Kripke thing. She had called him tonight to tell him off. Now she was loving him even more. How did that happen?

"Sheldon, not that it is any of your concern, but I have no interest in Kripke. He is vulgar and may I say.. Repellent."

"You may and he is. I must say Dr. Fowler, you have excellent taste." Sheldon was thrilled. He could kiss her through the computer right now.

"Yes, well. My taste is my concern. Im still upset with you…" She lied, a little. She was upset, but taken back by his apology.

"Dr Fowler, please let me make this up to you!"

"And how do you supposed to do that?" Amy crossed her arms. This should be good…

"I would like to buy you dinner, your choice, anywhere you want to go."

"Sounds like your asking me out on a date"

"its only date if you want it to be. I want to buy you dinner and make up for egregious actions." _Come on Cooper, turn on the charm!_

"Hey listen pal, if you want to buy me dinner for everything you done wrong, you'll be buying me dinners for next 50 years."

"Sounds perfect. I should be so lucky, if you'd let me."

Amy couldn't believe her ears_: Did he just say that? I am going to have to check his apartment for a pod next time I go over._

"Lets start with one dinner, shall we. I can meet you Thursday. Hamburger Hamlet?"

"It's a date" Sheldon said sheeply.

"IT is NOT a date. I'm still very upset with you Dr Cooper. You had better bring knee pads for the groveling you need to do." _There were a lot of comments that either party could have made concerning the mention of knee pads. Neither Amy or SHeldon were experienced to make the connection. _

"Speaking of dates… What are you doing this Friday?"

"Friday I am going helping with the Interdepartmental Mixer. I've got to help set up. Why?"

" Well, I was thinking of going."

"You hate parties, Sheldon and have you _heard_ about the horrendous undergrad film?" Amy shook her head in disgust. "It should be a droll evening."

"But you will be there, so it couldn't be that bad." _Sheldon was trying to be coy, not his strong suit. _

"That's sweet of you to say, but I think you'll hate it. I don't know if you should go."

"Well, I want to go!" Mary Cooper would have been proud of Amy, tell a man not to do something, that's the first thing he wants to do. " I would love to see you there."

"Well, we'll see. Anyway. It is getting late. Sorry for your shirt. Good night Dr Cooper."

"Good night Dr Fowler"

_What the hell just happened? _Amy called to yell at Sheldon over Kripke, ended up loving him more for it, and agreeing to see him! O_h that man is good. He is really very good. Clever boy._

_**Tuesday**._

The gang had gathered at 4A. Sheldon was in such a good mood, it was annoying. Unfortunately, Sheldon's good mood at dinner usually consisted of large portion of condescension with a side of arrogance; back to his old self again. Everyone was in their usual spots, eating dinner. Amy spot was empty, still no one asked to sit there. Suddenly, Sheldon shhhed the room. He heard knocking. Was it Penny's apartment? She must have had a visitor.

Penny jumped up. She forget that Amy was coming by to bring those shoes she couldn't wear. She was supposed to meet her downstairs. "Ill be right back."

Sheldon got up as well, and slowly walked toward the door. He set his Vulcan hearing to the highest setting. Sheldon could hear Amy's voice through the door. She was right there, so close. He opened the door just as Amy was about to walk back down stairs. She was on the first step about to go down, her hand on the rail. She turned back over her should and let a small smile appear in the corner of her mouth. She was lovely. Her hair was up in a pony tail, she had on running pants and tight yoga shirt. Her eyes met Sheldon's. "Good evening Dr Fowler, leaving so soon?" He begged her with his eyes to stay.

"Im just here dropping something off for Penny." Amy wondered if this was a trick by Penny to get her to see Sheldon. It worked, that tricky minx.

"Please come in, Amy. Everyone is here, they'd love to see you." Sheldon desperately wanted everything to be normal again. It just wasn't without Amy at his side. He needed her there to complete the set.

Amy debated in her mind. She didn't want to act like everything was back to normal, because it was far from it. But she did want to see the gang. She missed the group.

"Just for a moment. I am off to the gym."

As soon as Amy walked in, the whole gang jumped up to greet her. It was like an envelope of love. Conversations quickly turned to her outfit, how she was working out, etc. She looked different, but she was still lovable Amy. Sheldon went to kitchen to give everyone a chance to talk to Amy. He fixed her a tea. He knew what she wanted, Lady Earl Grey. As he steeped her a perfect cup, he smiled. She was so beautiful, laughing joking. Her smile was intoxicating. He drank it all in.

He walked back to the couch, to his spot. Handed the tea to Amy, she smiled and took it from his hand. As she did, her hand slightly touched his. With his other hand, he cupped hers as he gave her the tea and then slowly pulled away, with a smile. It was the first time he had touched her in over 3 ½ months. Sheldon was quiet, not wanting to spoil the moment. He tried to stop staring at her, but it was impossible.

Amy was nervous to be next to Sheldon. She didn't want to touch him, but he wasn't making it easy. After a while, it became obvious he was staring at her. Amy decided it was enough for tonight. She told the gang she had to leave. The usual hems and ha's but they understood. This was a big step, she needed to take her time. When she pushed herself up to leave, she accidentally touched Sheldon's knee. She pulled her hand back right away, but she noticed he didn't flinch. She made her way to door, Sheldon rose to walk her out. Good bye hugs all around for the gang, except Sheldon. She just looked down and made her way to door. Sheldon followed her, grabbed by the hand. He pulled her in for hug just like he saw the rest of gang do just moments before. He whispered so close to her ear she could feel his lips, "Thank you for coming Amy." She looked up at him debating on letting go. Finally, he released her and held the door. Amy, shocked left the building. It wasn't until she got down the first flight of stairs did she breath again.

When Amy left, Sheldon stood by the door for a minute. Everyone was starting at him. Emily was the first one to break the silence.

"You did well, young Patawan." Emily smirked.

Sheldon turned around and gave his look of haughty derision. Everyone quickly look down to avoid his glare. He ignored them and walked back to his spot. He rubbed his knee, he could still feel her warmth.

**Wednesday**.

Sheldon was in Hell. Two hours of Wheel of fortune was enough to anyone brain numb. Mrs. Wolowitz was in rare form. She felt the need to hug Sheldon when he came, causing him undue flash backs of her practically strangling him in the dressing booth. Truth be told, her mastery of Wheel of Fortune was uncanny. One more hour to go. At least she didnt have to go the bathroom.

"Howard tells me you aren't with your little Lady friend no more. Im sorry to hear that. You two seemed so nice together at Thanksgiving."

"Thank you ma'ma, we are not currently, but I am working on getting her back."

"Good to hear, no one should be alone. Look at me. Thank God for Stuart. He has been a god send. But, before I was so lonely. It's a terrible place to find yourself. If you get back together, are you going to get married?"

"Well, I haven't really thought about that. Lately Ive been working on getting her to even talk to me. "

"What mashugana thing did you do?"

" I left for 3 months" Sheldon didn't want to go through the whole thing with Mrs. Wolowitz, he had too much to explain, and not enough patience to go through it again.

"My husband did that.. He left. But he never came back. It broke me. I never understood why. It killed poor Howard. Those are deep scars to carry."

Sheldon didn't think what he did was in anyway as bad as Howard's father abandoning the family, but he couldn't help but recognize the same pain in Amy's eyes as Mrs. WOlowitz's.

"I am sorry about your husband. I hope I can make it up to Amy, but she doesn't trust me."

"Trust is harder to get back once its lost. I never trusted again. That's why I'm Single. You need to earn it back. "

"Well, Ill do my best ma'ma." He was thinking it wasnt the only reason she was single... But she was being kind, Sheldon was warming up to her.

Just then Stuart got home. He went over and gave a big hug to Debbie Wolowitz. Sheldon didn't care much for Stuart, or Mrs WOlowitz, but it was nice to see how happy they made each other. Maybe she can trust again after all.

**Thursday**

Date night. Sheldon was nervous as bride on her wedding. He was pacing around the house. Watching the clock. He had to be there at 6 o'clock and it was 515. He left work early to get ready, begging Leonard to come with him. But Leonard had to finish something, and told him he would be at the apartment soon.

"Good Lord, how long does it take to drive from Cal- Tech? " He called Leonard again. He was five minutes away. Sheldon told him to meet him down stairs. He grabbed his keys and took off like a jack rabbit down the stairs. This was not a good way to keep a suit nice, but time was of the essence.

Sheldon looked great. He was wearing grey slacks and grey shirt. Same outfit (minus the jacket) that he had when he put vapor rub on Amy's chest. It was hot so he cuffed the sleeves. Even at 530 at night, he was roasting. FINALLY. Leonard pulled up.

"All set buddy?"

"Yes, I hope so. Oh good lord, look at the time. Leonard are you going to take Colorado, we'll be late! Take Del Mar to Lake! "

"Relax Sheldon, you're going to be fine, we are only 10 minutes away. SO are you ready for this? "

"Of course, Im ready, what kind of question is that?" Sheldon was snappy, worried, and the butterflies in his stomach didn't help.

"Listen just relax, its just dinner. No pressure, no worries. You and Amy have been on plenty of dates. This is not different."

"That's the problem, Leonard, this one is different. This time I actually want to do. This time, I have to prove to her l've changed. This time… Oh man I think I need your inhaler!"

"Sheldon, you don't have prove anything in one night. Just relax, we are almost there. And you would never use my inhaler."

"Your'e right, I wouldn't. How often do you wash those things anyway? Don't answer that, my stomach cant take much more. "

Hamburger Hamlet was upscale restaurant with really, really good Hamburgers. It had low lighting, a nice bar, and high backed booths that were perfect for conversation and privacy. It was one of Amy's favorite places, but it was closing its doors soon. Sheldon was glad she picked it so they could enjoy one last time there together.

Sheldon was early, of course. He waiting for her in the lobby, looking at all the old pictures of Pasadena decorating the walls. It was long lobby, with benches on either sides. Sheldon could have sat down, but he was too nervous. The photos helped distract him.

Amy arrived. She was nervous too, not because she had to prove something, but because she had fight her inner voice who told her she was fool, a push over. She should cancel. She fought it all showed up. She told herself it wasn't a date, it just a dinner with a friend. She was a very bad liar.

Sheldon caught her eye right away. He looked so good standing there. She loved his thin physic. He was elegant, and strong. She was weak kneed walking in.

Sheldon caught his breath when he saw her enter. She was wearing a dress, but not as reveling as the last one, but just as form fitting. It was light blue, with white flowers. She looked innocent and sexy at the same time. Her legs were showing, not tights for this hot day. She had her hair pulled back in a loose pony tail. and those same glasses she wore at the coffee shop.

"Good Evening Dr. Fowler, you look stunning. "

"Thank you Dr Cooper, you look nice too, but dont get any funny ideas. I am still waiting for that groveling."

They sat in one of the high back booths, away from the crowds. It was a half circle booth with one bench. When they sat, Sheldon scooted to the middle of the booth. Amy sat at closer to edge, to give him some breathing room. He usually didnt like these booths, but he didnt complain to the host, this time.

"Thank you again for your delivery this morning. I really liked the article you found. It amazing what they are doing in Nano tech."

"I thought the application of Nano tech as it relates to cellular functionality especially intriguing."

Their interaction was like wearing an old pair of jeans you haven't worn in while. The conversation felt new, stiff like jeans fresh out of the dryer. But soon, it grew softer, more comfortable, and they remember your every curve. Sheldon and Amy fell into each other's thoughts, caressing each other's opinions with their own. When he would offer an explanation, she would add to it, making it better building to a climax of conversation. They matched each other's passion for words, thoughts, ideas. This was nothing less than mind sex in its purest form.

During one of Amy's heated explanations of lab safety procedures, part of her hair had broken free of its tie. Without a thought, Sheldon gentle pushed the hair out off her face, gliding down cheek. He was still listening to her, but lost in her beauty now. Amy noticed right away and tried to continue talking but she was lost in his eyes. It was at 2 minutes before either one of them realized they weren't talking. Amy flinched first, she looked down crossed her hands. Sheldon grabbed her hand, pulling her gently closer to himself. With the other, he caressed her cheek, down her jar to her neck before slowly pulling his hand away.

" Sheldon, I am not ready to jump back into this. Tonight was good step though."

"Amy, do you remember that spider man quote I told when you asked me to say something meaningful and from the heart?"

"Yes, I do."

"I finally understand it. I want to be the kind of man I see reflected in your eyes. I want to be that man. You gave me everything Amy, You gave me support and love. When I see myself how you see me, I am ashamed. I am frightened. I am not him yet, Im working on it. But I am willing to try. I know you don't trust me, you don't trust us. But know this: I do. I know I am better with you. I want to see how much, how much better can this get? "

"Sheldon, I….."

She didn't have chance to respond. He leaned in and kissed her lightly at first, then built the intensity. It was honest, filled with trepidation and excitement. It was the best kiss she every had, and it only lasted 20 Seconds. When he pulled away slightly resting his forehead on hers, he reached up and ran his thumb along her lip as if to grab the memory of kiss back.

She sat there looking up at his blue eyes. Wondering where to go from here, fighting her little voice. Finally, she told her little voice to shut the hell up and she kissed him lightly again.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Sheldon came home from his date like a love sick teenage girl, with a sigh and silly smile. Amy dropped him off at the apartment after the "date". He wanted her to come up, but she declined. She leaned over gave him a kiss goodnight on his cheek and thanked him for a nice evening. He had hoped for more, but the kiss in the booth was enough, for now.

Tomorrow was the mixer, and Sheldon needed his A game.

He had bought a tux, no more rental underwear for him. Raj and Emily helped him get it this time. It was more a modern cut. Raj thought he looked hot, but Emily thought he looked smokin.

Sheldon needed this night to go well. Not just for Amy, but for his career too. He was on thin ice at the university. He needed to show he was not the same pompous ass that left almost 4 months ago. Truth was, he was still pompous, but a little less of an ass.

Amy's dress was open back, black gown with a slit up to knee. It was long sleeved, but tight. It have a slit in near the top. It was conservative, yet sexy. Emily said she looked Hot, but Raj said she was smokin.

Amy arrived at work with her dress in tow, she needed to go straight after work and help set up. She didn't have much to do just man the drinks, but she wanted to show she was helping. It never hurt to act like al team player to garner credibility. She learned that at UCLA's lab; Sheldon should have taken lessons. It was 430 and almost time to get ready. Her mind was racing over the events of the last evening, lost in thought, she ran into Kripke on the way to the ladies locker room.

"Well, Dr. Flowers, How are you this fine evening. Off to workout so late.?"

_Ug, this again_.. "No Barry, I am going to get ready for the mixer."

"Oh good, your going. Save me dance… ." Amy didn't know what was more sickening, him eying her up and down or licking his lips when he did it. Now she really needed a shower.

Leonard, Penny and Sheldon arrived together after a rather noisy car ride which Penny was caterwauling advice to Sheldon on social graces. They walked into a large ballroom with numerous tables clothed in white lining the sides of the room. There was a large screen showing a slide show of Cal Tech through the years. Soft Jazz music was playing. There were about 40 or so people there so far, much too many for Sheldon's taste. Not ones to pass up free Univerity food, Penny, Leonard drifted to the food tables. Sheldon walked to one of the other buffet tables and grabbed a plate. Sheldon thought , _With your hands busy with food, hopefully people wouldn't ask to shake them._ Sheldon kept his plate close to his chest, as if it could protect him from the on coming storm of unwanted pleasantries and meaningless conversation that usually ended with the other person walking away, insulted for some unknown reason.

Penny and Leonard worked their way to the drink table and got two servings of wine in plastic glasses. _not classy, but free._ Penny thought. Penny looked, great, as always. The leer from the men's eyes proved that. Leonard loved it when she agreed to go to the University functions. There were still people at work who didn't believe she was his fiance. Sometimes, he didn't either.

Sheldon did his best to mingle. He was hesitant to talk, fearing he couldn't hold his tongue. Some people could help but bring the stupid with them and spread it everywhere. The English department was especially droll. Sheldon usual loved to point it out their logical fallacies, but tonight he was focused on finding Amy.

There was a large crowd gathered in the middle of the room. Sheldon was avoiding them, sticking to the perimeter. When the crowd split open, he saw her at the drinks table. Her back was to him, so he had the perfect view. The dress she wore was practically covered everything except for her back, which had a large scoop that dipped down to right above her waist. Her spine was soft and feminine, yet strong. He longed to touch the length of it. The dress hugged her curved waist and hips then hung down straight. IT moved like water when she moved. Normally, he loved her hair down, but tonight, it was up, in a loose bun. He was thankful for the style so he could see even more of her neck and back. It was like she naked and fully clothed at the same time. He had to catch his breath.

Amy didn't notice Sheldon, she was busy tending drinks to the unappreciative masses. She didn't notice Sheldon sneak over through the crowd like panther, dress in black and sleek. All she felt was a hand softly gliding down her spine. She spun around to flatten the masher when Sheldon caught her hand by the wrist. He leaned in, kissed in side of her wrist and moved his head up slowly to her ear and whispered, "you look stunning." He caught her smoky green eyes with his lustful blue.

Now it was Amy's turn to catch her breath. Sheldon looked as if he just won an Emmy, tall confident and sleek. His smirk gave away his intentions as his eyes undressed her. She caught her breath and tried to keep from melting… Anyone who noticed the couple would have felt the heat from their gaze. They were alone in a crowd of strangers, lost in each other. Amy was _his_ again at that moment. There was no denying it anymore. Not by her.

Siebert broke the mood. "Sooo Coooper, nice to see you here. Are you here to help Dr. Fowler with the drink table." Amy and Sheldon split apart, quickly, like two lovers caught parking on a moonlight car ride by the girls father.

"Well, yes, if she's needs me." Sheldon really didn't want to help with other peoples drinks. Amy knew that and helped Sheldon save face.

"Dr. Cooper has been a great help. Thanks for offering to get the ice." As she eyes the door to the kitchen. _GO NOW YOU FOOL_

"No problem, Dr Fowler." _Boy do I owe her a favor, _Sheldon thought. He went for the door to the kitchen.

As soon as he left, Kripke came up; he heard the whole thing. He had already had one too many vodka gimlets and was slurring his words sloppily. Not that anyone could notice.

"Not to wowry President Siebert, Dr Fowler and I can get the other drinks, I believe they are this way ." He set his drink down and with a sweeping motion, waved Amy away from the President, as he led Amy through a different door. This time it was a short hallway with a storage closet at the far end. It was dark, dank, and smelled of old mop water and dust. The green exit sign lit the corridor; the only light, expect the light from the ballroom.

"I must say Dr. Flowers, you are wooking Wovley again. This dress is made for you." His clammy hand was already running down her back.

"Back off Barry." Amy shrugged her body away from him. She was going to get plastic glasses and get the hell out of there. But Amy was trapped. Kripke had maneuvered her in a storage room where they kept the extra glasses and blocked the door.

Amy stumbled back as Kripke moved closer, her dress was caught on the shelf. "Come on Flowers, let me smell you." Kripke didn't stop, he grabbed her by the arms, pulling them around him, trapping them underneath his. He was stronger than he looked. Amy first instinct was kick him but he had pushed against her legs, trapping her against the wall.

"Stop it Kripke you're drunk, leave me alone."

"Oh flowers, you smell so good…" With that he licked her neck. He was clumsily trying to pull her dress off her shoulders.

Amy forcefully squirmed out of his wandering hands and finally broke free; she knew just what to do. She kicked him like a world cup goalie, straight between the legs and pushed him back. Groaning in pain, he lost his balance, and he fell hard on a half filled mop bucket.

Amy screamed, "**Don't you EVER touch me again!**" as she ran out the door. She ran into Sheldon, who heard her screaming declaration. She pushed him back as well, ready to strike when she realized who it was. As soon as she saw his eyes, she started to shake a little, trying to gain her composure.

He saw her face and pulled her in close, hugging her. Amy kept saying, I_m fine, Im fine._ Convincing herself as well as SHeldon. When she stopped shaking, Sheldon moved her to the side and opened the door. Kripke was up out of the mop bucket, but still hurting.

Sheldon saw white. Just white rage. **_Kripke had attacked Amy_**. He didn't think, he just pulled back and punched Kripke in the face like he had punched his white board days earlier. Barry fell back into the dry storage. Sheldon was ready to lunge again when he felt a hand on his arm. It was Amy, holding him back.

Her voice was like a beacon breaking through the fog of his mind: "Don't Sheldon, just don't..He's not worth it."

"What the hell Cooper, you broke my nose. Ill get you fired for this…"

"I warned you Kripke, I said stay away from her!"

"What do you care, she's not even your girlwriend anymore." Barry was holding his nose, but blood was running out. Sheldon was getting dizzy.

Amy had to break the tension and get Sheldon away. Amy pushed Sheldon over, and answered Kripke herself.

"Oh yes, he _**is** _my boyfriend." She looked at Sheldon with open eyes, saying _Right_? _Back me up here , guy!_

All Sheldon could do is nod quickly, with huge eyes staring back.

"Besides, even if he isn't, you have no right to touch me. Don't mess with me Barry, I will bury you. You think your reputation at this university is safe? Think again. Touch me like that again, I will make it so you are teaching middle school Math in Pomona. You got it? You're lucky I don't have you arrested. "

With that, she grabbed Sheldon's hand and walked away, before the blood made him faint.

Sheldon was dizzy, but was getting his head back on straight by the time that made it back to ballroom. Amy was the pillar of composure; filled with resolve. Amy went straight to the drink table, took a cloth napkin and put ice in it. She then led Sheldon to a pair of chairs, sat him down before he fell down and put the ice pack on his hand.

Sheldon just stared at this calm, collected woman. She was brilliant in so many ways. He didn't think he could admire her more. She loves proving him wrong.

"How's your hand?"

"Forget my hand, how are you? Did he hurt you?"

"No, he got handsy that's all. He's an idiot and drunk, deadly combo. I thought he would try something sometime, but I never thought he would be so bold. _Jerk_… How's my hero doing?"

"Oh I think I should be saying that to you. Thanks for pulling me off Kripke. I've never hit anyone before. Good Lord, my hand hurts. Watch that ice woman!"

Amy laughed and smiled. _He is such a baby. _

Sheldon saw her smirk, he smiled as well and asked, "So, hmm.. Amy… about what you said to Kripke. …are we boyfriend and girlfriend again?"

Amy teased him. "Oh, well. Sheldon you know, I just told a lie to Kripke to get him off my back and to avoid confrontation. I've heard in the past, it has been an effective tactic given he seems especially gullible, don't you think?" She had a cat who eat the canary grin on her face. God she was loving this.

"I do, unfortunately..." _Clever minx_, Sheldon thought. _Well played Folwer. _

Just then, Leonard and Penny came up. They saw Amy's nursing Sheldon's hand. "What the hell happened, guys?"

"Kripke happened. Sheldon punched Kripke." Amy was smiling. She couldn't believe he did that. She had handled the situation, but it was so nice he showed the some passion.

"NO WAY! God, if anyone deserved it, he did. What did he do?"

"He had the unmitigated gall to make a pass at one Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler. Whom, I might add, knocked him on his ass, forgive my language." his face swelled with pride.

"Way to go Amy! Although, Im not surprised given your history with TSA agents." Penny chuckled.

Amy handed the ice to Penny, "Well, I hate handsy, when it's unwelcome." With that she winked at Sheldon and glided back to the drinks table to resume her duties.

As she walked back to the table, the crowd broke open, as if she was parting a sea. Eyes watching her from every corner. She was a beacon of grace, and it wasnt going unnoticed. Sheldon watched her every move like he was watching a dance. He wanted her more than ever.

Leonard looked worried, "Nice, buddy, look like you might be getting somewhere with Amy. But you don't need to punch any guy she with okay?"

"Kripke wasnt just some guy, he really attacked her. He is lucky she pulled me off. I couldn't think, I was so mad."

"You're lucky, you dont need Siebert seeing you getting into fights. She can handle herself. If she's smart, she report it to HR. Let her handle it, sweetie, she's a big girl." Penny was so proud of Amy. Good for her.

Sheldon watched Amy over at the Drinks table, hoping for another glance back to him, but she was too busy, engrossed in what she was doing. In the past, it was Amy who begged for attention, just one glance, to see if he cared. She would wait for it like bubbles of joy bursting with anticipation. Now, it was Sheldon's turn. He waited for her glance, a chance to catch her eye to see if he could understand what she was thinking at that moment. But Amy wasn't giving it up so easy. She was talking to colleagues, pouring drinks. Every once in a while, she would look to Sheldon's stares. Not enough to quench his thirst for her.

"Yes, well, my hand feels better. I think I will go to the drink table and keep watch anyway..." Sheldon rose, shook his hand. It hurt, but not too bad. Amy's ice was just the thing. Now, he needed the rest of the evening to go better and keep the wolves at bay.

Just then the light flickered, signaling the rallying cry for the film to start. _OH god, that film._ Sheldon thought. Undergrad work was one thing, but interpretive dance? _Good Lord, the humanity! _He wasnt the only one, Amy took the chance to break from the table. She walked towards the courtyard door. Sheldon hurried after, snaking through the crowd, before he noticed.

Outside was a lovely night, summer in Pasadena sometimes gave crisp, clear skies. Tonight, there was nice cooler breeze, a break from the Santa Ana winds of late. Amy walked to the railing overlooking the courtyard. IT was a small place, surrounded on all sides with a walkway leading to doors to the various halls the university. Cal tech had Spanish mission architecture and the walk ways were tiled in terracotta and the railings flowered with red bougainvillea.. As she strolled around the walk way, she thought of all the history the tiles had. Who had walked on them? 32 Nobel winners have graced the halls. Could there be 33 soon enough?

Sheldon walked through the door, spotting Amy, deep in thought. "Nice evening, Dr. Fowler, are you enjoying a break from the activities this evening."

"Yes, I needed to get way from that film. The dancing is one thing, but Chinese opera fused with a Jazz beat is unholy."

"Yes, it is an assault on the senses. God, the arts can go so wrong when in the hands of philistines." Sheldon wanted to touch her again, hold her like he did earlier. But she was turned away, eyeing the sky.

"Still, it is a good subject. It fascinates me that so much history is here. JPL is mere miles away, Griffith Observatory. It is a pleasure working here. I hope my assignment doesn't end too soon."

"I for one hope not as well. It is a joy coming to work thinking I might see you."

Amy turned to him now looking like she caught him in a lie, "SHeldon, I've been here for almost a year now, you didn't seem so excited during that time."

"A lot has changed."

That comment upset Amy. _CHANGE_. The word that drove him away. "No, it really hasn't. I am the same person, a little less puppy dog eyed following you around hoping for a bone, but I am the same." Amy turned back to sky. She was upset she had let him back in her heart so easily. She needed more time. She still didn't trust him. First sign of trouble, he'd bolt again, off on the rails, to f_ind himself. like some zen journey of discovery.._. She was more bitter than she wanted to admit.

Sheldon moved toward her, lightly pulled her around so she was facing him. He moved his hands gently to her face lifting it up, to force her eyes on his. " Amy, I am the one who has changed. I see now what I missed, with you. I left to find something that could anchor my life, give me purpose, help me reach my goals, find my self. I needed a constant in my life, something I could rely on, that wouldn't change. I realize I ran away from my constant. You. You're right, you havent changed. You were there for me, and I didnt see it. I didnt appreciate it." He moved one hand caressing her hair line down to her ear. The words of Professor Proton echoed in his ears, chilling him : _Appreciate them, Sheldon..._

He stared at her, and continued, " This summer, I didnt change much. I am still stuck in my ways, rigidity to the core, driven to reach my goals. The only thing that has changed is that I realized how much you loved me before, and I needed it. I realized how much I loved you. That is what my months away taught me. I love you more than I can verbalize. More than I ever wanted to admit. If that is what it took, a trip away, I am glad I did it."

Amy stared back at him, his warm hands were melting her. She could feel the love inch it's way back. But she was still afraid; he could take this all away again. She could open her heart to him and he could change, again. She shivered from fear, more than cold.

"Sheldon, I do love you, I do. But I cant..." He cut her off mid sentence, all he heard was: _I do love you_. He pulled her into his lips. At first she melted, hands to her sides, her body fighting her mind on whether or not to give in. Sheldon had no apprehension. He deepened his kiss, gliding his hands to her back, pulling her close while he caressed her spine.

Finally, she gave in, bending her arms up around his neck and turning her head into the kiss. Passion took over Sheldon's lips as he used his mouth to express his love for her. Never had he let himself go, letting emotions drive his actions so completely. Time was irrelevant, location, nothing mattered but her. He was lost in it, lost in this kiss that took his breath away. Slowly, he pulled back, to stare her in her green eyes, checking if it was real. Amy looked back, pupils dilated, pulse pounding. Sheldon went in for another kiss, before Amy turned her head. She was afraid again. She was second guessing all her actions. Sheldon instead kissed her neck, up to her ear, Whispering, "I cant stop loving you Amy. I cant. I wont, please don't ask me to; its not possible." He wrapped his arms around her again for fear she would let go...like he did to her.

Amy turned toward his face. His blue eyes stared back as she had never seen them before. "I know better than anyone how hard it is to turn off love. It is impossible once it takes hold of you. It becomes your life blood, your focus. When it is taken away, when it is rejected, there is no air. There is no cell in your body that isnt gasping for life." She pulled away from him slightly with her hands on his chest. Gently, she was touching the buttons of his shirt as she continued. " If I give in again, if I let that feeling back in, I am opening wounds that haven't healed. You never said goodbye..."

Sheldon looked at her, remembering the look in Mrs. Wolowitz's eyes, the fear, the pain. He caused that. He pulled her head in under his chin, he wanted to take it all away, avoid seeing her hurt eyes. " Amy, I should have never left. I should have realized you were the only constant in my life." He pulled her back out to face her now. "But I did, and I am sorry. I am not good at this, I have no practice, no frame of reference. I crafted my life with order and routine to avoid this kind of thing. I am still lost about so many things. But I do know this, you and I are better together than apart. We help each other. You have been doing all the heavy lifting. Its my turn, if you'll let me. I want this, us, whatever more than anything. I think it is my foundation, my oxygen as you say. I cant live with out it. I wont take it away again, I cant."

Amy looked down, she couldnt let him in, not yet. She needed more time. Just a minute to breath on her own, without his love fueling her. She flashed through all the times he put her down, all the times she wanted more and he said nothing. She flashed to his last call before Texas, all of it cascading down, covering her in a blanket of doubt. She needed more time.

"Sheldon, I understand, but I just need a little more time before I jump back in." She pulled away from him turned her back to him, turning to the courtyard.

Sheldon came up behind her, lightly kissing her on her neck, gliding his hand down her back. "I understand. Truly do, I dont want to understand, but I do. I understand fear. It kept me from you for years. Kept me from realizing how good you are for me. I was afraid before. Afraid I would be lost and lose focus on my goals if I let myself go too far down the rabbit hole. I'm not afraid of us anymore because I trust you. You have proven your love for me in more ways than I can count. I haven't proven it to you yet. But I will, so help me, Amy I will." He spun her around, cupped his hands around her face.

"Because, when the day comes that I can see in your eyes, no fear, no doubt, no shred of apprehension, I will know it. It will feel like home. It is worth the wait for that look, Amy. I've seen a glimpse of it before from you, and I am going to get that look back. " He kisses her again, as if the truth of his words will be sent through his touch. This time she wraps her arms around his back holds him tight, wanted to believe every syllable.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

_**Author notes: Things might get steamy in this chapter. Fair warning… Would love to know if I should continue the story or leave at this point. The ending is sweet, but there is more to tell. Sometimes its nice to leave a little mystery... Please review. you dont know how much I appreciate it and live for them!**_

The lovers on the patio of Caltech were interrupted by a drunken English professor and his date; who looked like she was a doe eyed freshman.

"Oh, sorry, didn't know the courtyard was otherwise occupied, come my dear, let's discuss your Chaucer paper elsewhere, shall we. "

Amy and Sheldon giggled. The film must be over, more and more people were filing out onto the patio to get a break from Interpretive dance.

Sheldon grabbed her hand, and went back into the hall. The film was over, thank god. The band had started playing and some guests were making their way to the floor that was cleared. The lights were still lowered, but now it was easier to see. Leonard and Penny were at one of the round tables, slouched back in their chairs, nursing their drinks. They looked as bored as if they sat through that English professor's lecture on Chaucer.

"Oh, I see how it is. We have to put up with 45 of unchoreographed dance moves explaining astronomical discoveries, and you two are off kannoodling. Why couldn't we have been off kannoodling?" Penny was half crocked. _Thank god they had an open bar, or this night would have been a waste_, she though.

"You have to have an impeccable sense of timing and the means to escape." Amy smirked.

"Yeah, and being sneaking as fox doesn't hurt either," Sheldon added.

"Well, we are going home, Sheldon. Are you coming with us… or….?" Leonard eyed Amy not wanted to make assumptions out loud, but giving him an opportunity. Leonard was such a good friend.

Sheldon turned toward Amy, puppy eyed. "Okay fine I'll take you home. I have clean up here. I can't leave for an hour or so. "

"No problem. I will help you. "Turning toward a shocked Leonard, "Thanks, I'll see you back at the Apartment."

"We are going to Penny's you have the place to yourself tonight…" We whispered to Sheldon… "You dawg!" He winked and helped Penny up, making sure she got her sea legs and footing before heading to the door.

Sheldon followed Amy over to drink table. It was mess, used glasses, napkins all means and methods of germs. He shuttered at the sight; He wished he brought gloves. Quickly, he went the hall to storage room that he punched Kripke. He opened the door, turned on the light. Kripke was still there, passed out. He must have staying in there after Sheldon punched him. Sheldon thought not to wake him up, he tip toed passed him to get the gloves. Kripke woke up, groggy.

"Oh man, what time is it? Damn it Cooper, what the hell. Stay away from me."

"Im not here for you, but for gloves. Go back to sleep and sleep it off, Barry." SHeldon had no time for tom foolery or guilt ridden would be rapists.

"Oh man, I really screwed up. I wreally, WRELLY scwewed up."

"Yes you did Barry. You had better think how you are going to apologize to Dr Fowler." Sheldon was furious with Kripke. His little admission didn't engender him to Sheldon, but antagonize an already ticked off Texan.

"I'm going to get fired, I'm going to lose my job…" Kripke was more concerned about his job, than Amy, typical.

"One can only hope." Sheldon slammed the door.

Kripke stood up, brushed off his pants. They were still wet from the mop bucket. He had dried blood on his face, that Sheldon was careful not to notice. He ran his hand through his hair, and pushed himself out the door. He might as well face the music. As he opened the door to the hall, he saw her. Amy was cleaning up the glases off the tables. He slowly approached her, not wanting to get kicked again, he stayed 3 feet back.

"Um, Dr. Flower, I mean Dr. Fowler. I just wanted to say, what I did was uncalled for. Pwlease accept my apolwgies."

Amy turned around, crossed her arms. She was not in the forgiving mood. "Listen up Kripke, this is what you need to do. Monday, you are you going to Ms. Davis and report your actions. You need serious training on how to respect women. I am don't going to waste my time or energy teaching you. "

Amy turned away. Kripke didn't say another word; he took advantage of her back being turned and made his leave.

Sheldon walked up to her, putting on his gloves he said, "Wow that was generous of you. I am surprised you didn't' kick him again for even having the nerve to talk to you?"

"Well, I have my hands full right now teaching one physicist how to handle women, I don't need two." She winked at him and went back to work cleaning the glasses.

Sheldon smiled and busied himself with the task at hand. They cleaned up the table, put the extra glasses away, and made their goodbyes. Sheldon was thrilled to be out of the Ballroom. Parties are tedious at best, but he would have rather spent the time alone with her than cleaning up other peoples germy discards.

"Would you like to stay and dance, Dr Fowler?" Sheldon was hoping for another chance to hold her again, but really wanting to leave.

"You know, normally, I would. But these shoes are killing me and it was a long evening. And don't think I don't see you twitching. You are dying to get out of here. Rain check?"

"Definitely."

They made their way to the car. It was a short drive to Los Robles and Sheldon was racking his brain, trying to think of some reason for Amy to come up to his apartment.

"Oh, Amy, my hand is still hurting… Do you think you could wrap it for me when I get home? You must have extensive knowledge on first aid given your background with primates and their propensity for throwing objects."

"Why yes, I do, Dr. Cooper, but you are the one with the emergency kit in each room of your apartment. Surely, you have enough expertise to wrap your hand yourself." She wasn't going let him get his way so easily; not with such a pathetic excuse.

"Yes, well it is EXTREMELY difficult to wrap one's own hand, you see. And Leonard and Penny are probably asleep. I would hate to wake them."

"Since when do you care about Leonard's sleep." Amy snickered.

"My time away has done a number on Leonard, his work has suffered in my absence. He needs his sleep in order to be fully functional at work… So you see, it's in the good name of science I don't wake him up."

"Well, if it's in the name of science, I should help you. But I am not staying long, just enough to wrap your hand. That's it!" Amy was telling herself, more than she was him.

"As you wish." Point Cooper.

As they drove to the house, the conversation quickly turned to the history of Caltech. Amy didn't know much about it, but Sheldon did. His detailed history took them from the car, up the 4 flights of stairs and through the apartment door.

"Would you care for a beverage?" Sheldon, took off his coat and hung on his chair. The heat was getting to him.

"Tea would be lovely."

"I will return in a minute, please sit. There is a box of brownies from "Portos" in the Fridge if you are so inclined. I will put on the kettle." Sheldon walked over the kettle and filled it while he was eyeing Amy. She was nervous, and not sure if she should get so comfortable.

Sheldon ducked to back and returned with a first aid kit. Amy had her head in the fridge, looking for the Portos box. "I think you have 2 brownies left." Amy had fixed the tea for them. She carried the tea and the box to the coffee table.

Sitting in her spot, he tapped Sheldon's spot with her hand. "Dr. Fowler is in. Come, lets look at you injuries." She took a bite of the brownie before he sat down_. There sure have been a lot brownies around him lately_. She thought.

Sheldon practically ran to the couch and held out his hand. Amy gently turned it over and examined it. It looked fine, but Sheldon was such a baby, she'd better play along.

"You know, Sheldon, you seem to be exhibiting less symptoms of mysophobia than normal as of late. Interesting development." Amy was wrapping hi s hand in a tight weave, like a professional boxer.

Studying her hands, and touch he replied, "Yes, but not with everyone. It seems I am less concerned about germs with certain people. My Meamaw pointed out that I have no trepidation about hugging her. I thought I would work on it with other people." He inched closer to her, " Proposal...I would like to conduct an experiment to determine my response to certain stimuli and see how that stimuli affects my condition. I need to examine all the variables, and collect additional data." He was eying her response, waiting for her reaction.

Amy looked up from her work on his hand, " What are the parameters of the experiment?"

"Controlled environment" He moved closer, "One control subject, multiple variables, under specified conditions." He had moved within 6 inches of her, staring at her mouth.

"What conditions do you propose?" She looked up at his eyes. They were locked on hers now, dilated. She could hear his breathing was more rapid; felt his pulse slightly elevated.

He moved his other hand to her hair line, pushing her hair off her face, resting on her shoulder. "Well, it seems I have no problem touching you." As he continued to explain, he touched every part he mentions: Your face, your neck, your ears, your hair, your chin." Each touch was gentle, soft. " Your lips" He glazed her mouth with his thumb. " I would like to see if that is true for the rest of you in order to full test out my hypothesis."

Amy let out a hoooh. "Well that seems to be quite an extensive experiment. She had moved closer to him now, they were centimeter away from each other.

"I would welcome a comparison study. You could see if I am affected by your touch." He took her hand and placed it on his thigh." We could compare the results."

"A collaboration? Interesting. I assume we would share the publishing credit?" Amy was breathless now, caressing his thigh up to his chest. His tux shirt was open at the top button, she could see his tempting neck line.

"Oh Dr. Fowler, I would think you should get top billing." He grabbed the back of her head and pulled her into a kiss. His hand worked down to her bare back while he kissed her with more vigor. His tongue had tasted her brownie favored lips, he wanted more. They were both new at French kissing, but soon they were experts. Her hands were around his neck and back, tracing his shoulder blades lightly. When he deeply kissed her, she grabbed him tighter.

His hands were rubbing her arms now, moving up to her shoulders to the top of her dress. His fingers moved under the neck line, pulling the dress slowly down her arms. Whatever was uncovered, Sheldon kissed. He had engulfed her, lying her back on the couch now, practically lying on top her, one arm braced for leverage, the other undressing her. She could feel his excitement through her dress.

Amy had worked on his shirt, unbuttoning the black pearl buttons carefully. He sat up quickly and in one motion pulled it off and threw it on the beige chair. Next he tore off his undershirt, revealing his chest. He was more muscular than she originally thought, yet pale and innocent. Now she could touch his chest like she longed to do the day he spilled the cranberry juice. "Let me start collecting my data now, Dr Cooper."

She moved her hands to his neck, gliding down the sides to his shoulders. Now her hands were able to explore his strong torso, bare back, stretched from his holding his weight on his good hand. He kissed her neck, working his way to her clavicle, pulling her dress down as he kissed the top of her breasts. Amy wasn't wearing a bra with the backless dress, so he was free to pull it down it to her waist, exposing her bare chest to his. Sheldon stopped, looked at her as if he was studying a white board. He studied her hair, now lose on her shoulders, the curve of waist and newly exposed chest. He traced his hand down the sides as if testing the waters to make sure he could dive back him. The look on Amy's face and the mirroring of her actions on his chest gave him leave. Sheldon plunged back in her skin rubbing his lips over every centimeter of her exposed chest. He kissed her chest, moving around her nipples with his tongue. Amy arched her back in pleasure, moaning and grasping the back of couch; her legs tighten to hold in her excitement. Sheldon moved back up to neck and face. Cupping her face with his hand, he leaned in and kissed her again.

"I would like to change the location of the experiment, in order to move the next phase of trials." He kept kissing her neck, rubbing her sides.

"Are you sure you are ready to precede with second phase trials? We don't want to overload the test subject with too many variables. Perhaps we should be cautious, analyze our data and regroup…" Her thoughts were interrupted by his hands moving her dress further down her sides, sliding it off her hips.

"I see no reason why not to proceed to the next phase. We need a complete set of data in order to have comprehensive results. " His whole body was in between her legs now, exposed by the lack of her dress. She was so smooth, her legs were strong and held him by his hips. He arched his back, pushing his body into her. He was still dressed from the waist down, but Amy only had on her panties; An unacceptable situation, in his opinion. He reached for his belt to undo his pants, her hands stopped him. She sat up and grabbed her dress, covering herself with it.

"Well Dr. Cooper, I think we should analyze our data at each phase, check responses, then proceed to the next phase. No need to overwhelm the test subject. " She threw her dress back over her head, pulling it down to her waist.

"Please overwhelm me, I have no problem being overwhelmed. " Sheldon begged her as she covered herself again. He looked as a child who Christmas present was stolen by a bully. He sat back on his knees, hands on her legs. His disappointment was like a thick cloud, blocking his view of the sun.

"Sheldon, you **_do_ **have a problem with being overwhelmed, remember. This is moving awfully fast for a man who couldn't kiss me for more than 13 seconds on Valentines day. " Amy inched away from him. She wanted him so badly, but she was worried she would scare him off, he would run again.

"Amy, I want this, I want you. I have thought about this for a while, longer than I want to admit. But if you are not ready for this, I will wait. " He sat back on his knees in his spot trying desperately to mask his disappointment.

"Are you sure? This will change us Sheldon, this physical relationship will be like nothing you and I have had before. I have been ready, but to be brutally honest, I don't want to scare you off. I am worried that this will scare you off, and I cant go through that again." Amy looked down, all her fears were laid out before him, she felt more exposed than she did when her dress was on the floor.

"Amy.." He leaned over to get closer to her, his hand pulling her chin up so he could look at her eyes. SO she would know the truth. " I am not only looking forward to that change, I welcome it. You cant scare me off, whether we engage in coitus or not, I am going to love you. Nothing, and I mean nothing is going to change that. "

"Sheldon, I have waited for over 3 years for you to touch me. I have wanted to be this close to you for so long it became an obsession. I was practically resigned to the fact that I might never have sex with my boyfriend."

Sheldon, ears picked up. "Boyfriend? Are you ready to…"

Amy sits up, straightening her back, as if readying herself for a presentation. Amy cuts him off mid sentence with her hand : "Sheldon, I would like to alter that paradigm of our relationship."

"I'm listening." He smirks, _Oh where has he heard that before... hmm..._

Amy smirks back. "with the express understanding that _everything_ changes, physical and otherwise. I would not be opposed to you no longer being characterized as "not my boyfriend."

"Great, now try it without the quadruple negative."

Amy smiles, "You're impossible!… Fine… Sheldon, would you be my boyfriend?"

"Yes, oh god yes.." And he leans in with his good hand cupping her face, kisses her. Slowly at first, softly. He pulls away slightly and goes in again, this time with more intensity. _Good lord, he loves brownies. Why does she always taste so good?_

Amy pushes him back and smirked. "You should expect a copy of the relationship agreement tomorrow. Bring your notary Stamp." She gets off the couch. Straightened out her dress, and walked slowly toward the bed room.

" But wait, I didn't write a new one yet, given our new..um parameters... Amy?."

She peeked her head back around the corner, "OH no dear, you're not writing this one. _**I am**_." And with that, she, turned the corner

"That Vixen!"


	29. epilogue

_**Author notes: This is just an add on chapter. I had one more story in me. It is not necessary to the story, and a little smutty, so if you don't like that kind of thing, you can skip it... I just had to have them get together, on paper at least. I couldn't let her go… So to speak…Thanks for the reviews. I hope you enjoyed the story. I think this will be my first and last rated M story. A little hard to work through the details without getting flush…**_

**Chapter 29: Epilogue**

_45 minutes later he saw it._

He saw what he longed for: He saw the look. As he was lying on top her, dress and pants littered on the floor, breath heavy from release; bodies still connected, he saw it. Sheldon looked in Amy's eyes, her smiling eyes and saw the look he longed for. She had no fear, no doubts about what had just happened. She was content, happy, and euphoric just looking at him. His heart swelled up with the knowledge this look for was him, only him. He didn't want to move, not an inch away from her because that look was covering him, through osmosis, filling his every cell with love. He had never felt such contentment, had such a feeling that his actions were correct. Looking at Amy, every shard of apprehension he ever had about sex was brushed away with their embrace.

That was what it was supposed to be like, not the release of some bodily function on some accepting lonely woman, like Wolowitz. Not some ritual or rite of passage that signifies Raj wont be alone. Not a conquest like Leonard finally getting with Penny. No, this was more pure, a higher level. This was bond almost at the quantum level, as if their atoms were sharing charge. Sheldon knew sex would change them, she had said as much, but he didn't realize to what extent and how soon. In that moment, staring at her, he realized all the words he said to her were true, all the doubts he had were gone. He didn't think he could love her more, he didn't think it was mentally possible. He was wrong, again. She was his everything and he couldn't believe he waited so long to find out.

Sheldon put his head on her chest, breathing out a sigh of release. "I don't understand, I really don't."

Amy looked down, combing his hair with fingers, "What don't you understand?"

He looked back up, "Why I waited so long to do that." He kissed her and finally rolled to the side, facing her.

Amy turned on her side, faced him. "Well, I am no expert, but I must say, you really do excel at everything." She jumped up and held out her hand.

"No no I want to lie here a while longer" He was whining now. "… don't make me get up." Sheldon groaned… A way of tiredness fell over him.

"Trust me, you'll thank me later, come on." Amy led him by the hand to shower. Sheldon was groggy and swaying, but strangely comfortable with Amy seeing him completely naked. After she got the shower to the perfect temperature, she led him in. Warm water washed over his shoulders. He had been tense the last few weeks, but that seemed like a whisper memory now. Amy washed him with soap, rubbed his back. After they were showroom clean, she wrapped a towel around her. Sheldon loved watching her dry her hair; he came up behind her and kissed on the shoulder as she bent her head to the side. They were looking straight out at each other in the reflection of the steamed mirror, still grasping with the reality of their coupling.

"Wow, I look good." Sheldon arrogantly joked.

Amy nudged him with her elbow, "You always looked good, you're just noticing now?"

"No, I mean I look good, with you." He kissed her cheek and went to the bedroom.

Sheldon gave Amy the top of pajamas to sleep in, he just wore the bottoms. Sheldon reclined back on his pillow, his arm wrapped around Amy as she lay her head on his chest. As the two curled up next to each other, reflecting on the events of the day, Sheldon and Amy's breathing matched rhythms. Each breath in was like they were breathing for each other. They had become each other's oxygen.

"Thank you for the shower, you were right, I really needed that."

Amy smirked, "Of course I'm right, I have a PhD in Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper studies, you know. "

"I hope you are willing to work on your post doc work, there have been some fascinating new developments in the field, I'm told."

"Yes, I've heard… Are you willing to collaborate with me in my studies?"

"No, I'm sorry. I'm _Very_ busy with my work. "

"Busy with what?"

"I am starting my graduate studies in AFF Theory."

"Oh, I see." See was playing with chest hair, "Just graduate work huh, no master's yet?"

"No, not as of yet. It's only my first semester after my undergraduate degree. I need to do extensive research for my master's; it's a complicated field, there are many aspects of the subject matter I have yet to discover. "

"Well, I heard you were awarded Honors for your undergraduate work. Congratulations," She lightly kissed his cheek. " Do you plan on continuing your studies past graduate work?"

"Oh, I plan on… " Slowly unbuttoning her shirt, " not only continuing my studies, I plan on becoming an expert in the field." He shifted now, lying on his side, tracing every curve of her face. "I already have an idea for my doctoral thesis: How many different ways is it possible to make Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler orgasm?"

"Oh my, that is a unique approach; I don't think anyone has ever thought about that line of research before." She moved closer to his mouth.

"And if I have any say about it, no one ever will." Sheldon pulled her in, kissing her. He flipped her on her back so suddenly, she let at a "hooh," He smirked as her arms were pinned above her head. Sheldon reached down with one free hand, pulling up her shirt over head, leaving it on her hands and it used it as a tie. He wanted to study her, taking her curve into his memory forever. He didn't want her hands to distract him. Both his hands were free now to explore her body, every inch of her was examined for what seemed like hours; studied for texture, temperature, reactions. Amy's moans and arching back told him when he was close to a breakthrough, he explored more. Her begging told him what to do.

He disrobed and climbed back on top her, untied her hand. He wanted her to move with him. Any awkwardness of the first time was forgotten; she pushed her hips up to meet his. As he entered her, their rhythm became like their breathing before, perfect synchronization. Every thrust he made he made was matched by her pulling forward; each change in speed met equally, each motion in harmony until they both released such pleasure into each other that neither one knew where their body stopped and the other began.

Gasping for breath Amy managed to say, "Well, Dr. Cooper, I think you will be awarded a master's and Doctorate at the same time."

(…)

Next morning, Amy got up, trying desperately not to wake up Sheldon. He was so content, like a sleeping baby. She went the restroom, thankful she found his stash of extra new toothbrushes. She was dying for a cup of tea. After putting the electric kettle on, she heard the front door. Standing in the doorway were Leonard and Penny with a box of pastries.

"Hey Bestie, I thought you might be here…" Penny winked at Amy, making her blush. " We brought you guys some pastries from this Armenian bakery on Glenoaks Blvd. I gained 5 pounds just walking in the place!"

Amy was happy to see them, but hoping they wouldn't notice that she was standing in the kitchen, naked from the waist down, only Sheldon's long pajama top covering her to her thighs. No such luck, Leonard was eyeing her, when suddenly his attention was drawn to the hall: Sheldon was up.

Sheldon said nothing to the unwelcome visitors at first, he went to Amy, grabbed her hand, pulling her back to the bedroom. "I have homework to do, let yourselves out." And with that they disappeared around the corner.

Penny and Leonard looked at each other in shock,

"Let's get the hell out of here."

"Ditto."


End file.
